18 The 2 essentials of goal timeframes
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Speaker 3: [00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Speaker: Hi and welcome to the Scary Goals Club podcast. I'm your host Hazel Robertson and happy Friday. It's actually a Friday when this will go out and it's actually Friday that I'm [00:01:00] recording this as well. It is literally the day before I go on holiday. I am on holiday. Um, on holiday tomorrow, Saturday for two weeks.
And so if you're listening to this, I'm on holiday and I am so in holiday mode at the moment. I like the sun is shining, I have been out for a walk and I was feeling like not a hundred percent the last couple of days and just been taking it super easy. And winding into the holiday and I almost want to like, show you, let's see if you're watching a video because it looks all nice behind.
We're going to go behind the scenes. There is a pile of some clothes still getting packed, chuck everything in a bag and be like, Do I really need to take this? Still got that to do afterwards. I've literally been putting off recording this podcast all morning. It's not that I don't want to, I'm not in a good frame of mind.
I think I'm just like so excited about having a break and just stepping away from everything and [00:02:00] having some time off, but I'm like been practically like doing different things. It's like, okay, um, and just record this podcast. And I'm trying to think like some news. So last Friday, although when you're listening to this, it'll be a few weeks back because this is going out in a couple of weeks.
I had the best evening. I was asked to do a talk with this local group called the Deeside Wellbeing Collective and they're such an amazing bunch of humans. They're doing such amazing work. They've just set up as a community interest company and they just have so many amazing plans for Deeside, for near, near Aberdeenshire, which is where I am.
So near Aberdeen in Scotland, if you're listening to this in the world. And we went for this walk up the local hill. There was a mindful moment at the top, which was so nice. And like this grounding, feeling grounded with the earth. And then we came back down and I did a talk, which was so fun. I haven't done, I've done workshops recently, but the last [00:03:00] like proper talk I did that wasn't online, it was Like, in front of a, like a big live audience.
That was when I was pregnant with Flynn. It was at this sport conference. And yeah, it just seems like a while, like it just ages ago that I've actually really been getting into the swing of doing public speaking and standing up. And this one felt so different as well, because it was the first time I had done a talk.
For like 15 minutes that wasn't a workshop or kind of a presentation that I didn't have any slides. So normally I have the slides as a bit of a prompt of what I'm going to talk about next. A lot of times I talk about expeditions and bring in a lot of that and this wasn't. It was all just me standing up.
Remembering what I was going to talk about, adding in bits, definitely forgetting bits. And that felt really fun as well. I've done tried to do a talk before where I haven't had as many slides and I've talked more around it. [00:04:00] And I remember I even like forgot what this was a few years ago now. I forgot what I was going to say, like midway through.
I had my notes in my pocket and I had to get them out to remind me what to say. So going from even just like a few slides where I had this complete mind blank and had to get my notes out like a few years ago to being able to stand up with no slides and talk and tell stories and weave it together and do all that for 15 minutes.
I felt very proud of myself and I think what I'd realized is actually this whole process of going through my scary goal and creating a podcast episode every single week where I am standing up and talking about something and sharing stories and bringing in teachings for people. Well, oftentimes it's longer than 15 minutes.
I think this has actually been such good practice for the public speaking, which I never thought about. I never thought about that as one of the skills I would learn doing this podcasting every single week. It just didn't even register as something that I would [00:05:00] become more fluid in how I was speaking and being able to think on the spot and being able to add bits in and change things and not use notes and not rely on slides and just.
Still be able to have a structure, still be able to deliver something and hopefully something that's useful. Hopefully these podcasts are useful. If not, they've been very useful to me going through and learning about this for standing up and actually doing talks. So yeah, that feels really cool as well.
And it's the same thinking about whatever your scary goal is, there will be things that you have learned and skills that you are learning as you're going through it. That you won't even realize now maybe where they're going to be able to be applied in other areas of your life in ways that you could never have imagined when you actually set the goal.
I literally didn't even think about the podcasting blowing into being able to stand up and talk in front of people. Didn't even think about it. And. There we go. It did. And it really helped. And even I think with the podcast episode a few weeks ago on finding your unique creative [00:06:00] process again, doing this week after week, coming up with ideas and ways of sharing it and being able to, you know, get in the right headspace and stand up and do this.
Also, that has helped me hone how I like my creative process for actually putting together a talk. And what was really fun is I actually recorded it on zoom just like this. And then I sent it to my phone for my computer, just use like airdrop sent it over. And then I listened to it back. So as I was going through.
the day of, practiced it in the morning and then was listening to it back while I was tidying the house. I had, I set a new rule, which is quite fun. Every time I feel the urge to go and scroll on social media, which I know is Because I'm avoiding some uncomfortable emotion. And for me on the day of the talk, this was not wanting to practice it again because it felt quite uncomfortable.
And I was like, Oh, what if I forget things, what I, you know, all the, what ifs, my brain was going to the worst case. What if no one laughs? [00:07:00] What if no one smiles or everyone just is on their phone and I forget everything. And so I didn't want to practice it. And of course, You can see that that would lead to less practice.
And I was wanting to just be on my phone. So the rule I made, which is really fun is every time I have the urge to just be on my phone or I find myself scrolling, I'm going to stop and do something physical like Hoover or tidy something. And at least. Even if I'm wanting to procrastinate and just want a little bit of time just not doing it while I get myself together, at least I'm doing something and having something productive at the end of it.
Whereas just a scroll on social media for me doesn't always lead in something productive at the end. I'm just like, Oh, that's been like 10, 15 minutes. What have I done? And when I was tidying the house and hoovering and cleaning and emptying the dishwasher and doing all that, I had it playing in my ears.
So I'd recorded me doing it, listened to it back and was thinking, Huh, okay, no, I'm actually going to move that bit around there. Don't need to say that. Oh, I'm going to add this bit in and then I could change it in my phone notes, thought about it and then I repracticed it, [00:08:00] sent it to my phone, listened to it again and watched it back again.
And that has been so helpful. And I think that's something that even a few years ago when I was doing talks, I shied away from doing. I was almost scared of seeing myself on video on camera. By the way, I am going to get on to today's. I'll pick. We're all talking. We're all talking today. I'm going to talk about the time frame to your goal, why it really matters and also why it doesn't matter at all.
So I will get onto that and give you some helpful tips if you're not wanting to set a time frame or if you have a time frame to do that. And you're not, you're not reaching it or you're feeling really like attached and you just want it to happen right now. We're going to talk about all that. Where was I?
I've gone off on a tangent anyway. I think, yeah, previously I had tried away from record, like recording myself and watching it back. It was almost like cringe, whereas now I'm doing this again, probably the podcast has helped with that. Just getting the reps in. This is [00:09:00] week, I don't even know what week this is.
18, I think. 18 episodes of seeing myself on video, editing myself on video, listening to how I'm talking, uploading it on YouTube, uploading it in different places, and by the time you do 18 times, it's like, oh, I can totally just watch myself back. It doesn't feel as cringey now. Sometimes I'm a bit like, oh, I cried on camera, which, I I used to never, like, I used to rarely, rarely cry.
It just wasn't really a thing. Maybe I'm just way more in touch with my feelings now, I'm feeling them all, I'm like, bring it on. Crying is all good. Whereas before I used to be like, oh, don't cry, like, suck it up. I guess we get taught that by society. So nowadays I'm all for the crying, even though sometimes watching myself crying when I'm editing, I'm like, ooh, all right, that one was raw.
Anyway, so here we are on this Friday, I'm just not, I'm so in holiday mode at the moment. I'm good. I'm good. I'm literally just like, my brain. I also had it. Oh, it's falling on the floor. Well, the [00:10:00] can has, I had a kombucha before this. I love kombucha. There was one in the fridge. It's like, I'm having it now.
Bring on the caffeine. It's happening. So today I want to talk about the timeframe for setting your goal. Okay. First I want to talk about why you do want a time frame. Now if you haven't put a time frame, a date that you were going to create your scary goal by, ask yourself why not. It's probably because there's some fear there.
Like, oh if I put a time frame on it what if I don't make it by the time frame? What if like I don't do it? What if I'm not able to do it? There's all of that fear of failure of when we actually put a time frame on it. Which is why I want to encourage you to put a time frame on it. Okay, because say, say the goal is like, Oh, I want to create a podcast when it is just this vague thing of something that you want to do at some point in your life.
It will always just stay this vague thing. It's like this dream, like, Oh yeah, [00:11:00] someday, as soon as I was like, okay, I am creating a podcast in 2024. And not only that, I'm going to have 30 episodes by the end of the year. So it's like chop chop and better get cracking. I can't just like put it off till the end of the year.
Better get started now. Suddenly it became, rather than this like vague thing, it's like, Oh my gosh, this is actually happening. And it becomes a lot more tangible, especially if you're setting something for within a year, within six months. Like, even if you have a bigger goal, setting a slightly smaller bit that's on a shorter time frame sometimes can just like sharpens your focus okay better get going you can't just keep putting this off because it's so easy and i did this again with the podcast just putting stuff off for years and years like i'll get around to it at some point yeah yeah at some point i'll do it And it's easier, again your brain loves it being vague, loves it being at some point in the future because you don't have to actually deal with it now.
You don't have to show up, be scared, get on camera anyway, or [00:12:00] whatever is for your goal. It's easier to keep it vague, which is why you want to be setting it. As a specific timeframe and being really specific about your goal, making it measurable. So if you haven't listened to that episode for essentials for a scary goal, go back and listen to that.
Even if you have like, just check that you've got that set in for your scary goal. So you want a timeframe because as soon as you are really specific about your goal, really specific about the timeframe. It's going to bring up all of your crap, basically all of your limiting beliefs. Your brain's gonna be like, Oh, but I can't do this or this.
What if I fail? What if that? What if that? Suddenly, all of those reasons why it's scary and you can't do it. And all of those limiting beliefs, they are going to be bubbling up. And this is a good thing. You want to be capturing them, writing them down because they were there anyway. They were there beneath the surface, now that you have put a goal with a time frame, suddenly they're [00:13:00] bubbling up and you can hear them and your brain's giving you all the reasons not to do it and all the reasons it's scary and you're going to fail and you can write them all down.
And that is the first step, just having that awareness of, huh, these are beliefs that I have. They have come from somewhere. Whether it's society, someone has said it to you as a young person, something has happened and you've developed that as a belief that you can't do something or you've failed at something before, someone laughed at you and therefore, again, you have these beliefs from the past.
Whatever. Wherever they have come from, they're there in your subconscious driving you not doing scary things, but not doing things that ultimately are going to make you feel alive and that are going to create a bigger, more vibrant life that ultimately you want, making that bigger impact. They're there underneath calling the shots.
And by setting a big scary goal with a time frame, it brings all of it up, which is amazing because once you know what is there, then you can start to question. Well, first of all, just having compassion for yourself. Like, okay, my brain is [00:14:00] scared, totally normal. Of course it's going to be you're doing something new.
And then just starting to question them, starting to get coaching around them, coach yourself around them, seeing what's there and being like, huh, these are the reasons that you're not doing the thing. And those are probably going to be the same limiting beliefs that are holding you back from doing other things in your life.
Because we have the same brain, we go about different parts of our day, just because we're setting one goal. For example, this podcast, those same beliefs of. Why it wasn't going to be possible, and how it was going to look stupid, and all of that. What was showing up for me, and 100 percent it was, was showing up on social media, with writing emails, with standing up in front of people.
It was coming up in different places. And once I've started working through some of these beliefs, and still showing up, and getting on camera, and doing this, it's been great. Suddenly, it's helping in other areas of my life as well, like with public speaking, like with showing up on social media, even when I don't want to, it like the ripple effect of doing this work in one area, it [00:15:00] just like completely transforms your whole life, which is why scary goals are so amazing.
So you want to set a timeframe, it's going to bring up all of the stuff that's there, and then you get to work through it, and then you get to question those beliefs.
And also. The timeframe doesn't matter at all. So this is a little bit of a contradiction, but if you can kind of hold both of these things in your mind.
You want to be setting a timeframe for the momentum to understand the limiting beliefs, to be able to bring all that stuff up so you can look at it. And also like, who cares if you don't get the goal in that timeframe? Like, even if. You know, say with these podcast episodes, say I get to 25 episodes by the end of this year and I do.
30 episodes by February in 2025. Literally, who cares? It doesn't matter at all [00:16:00] because the thing isn't getting to the goal in a certain time. It's who you are becoming as you go through the journey of reaching the goal. So for me, the 30 podcast episodes, the goal is way more important than doing it by the end of this year.
I'm going to go for it and I'm on track for doing it. But if I don't, if I miss a few weeks, if I get. ill, if whatever, life gets in the way and I decide I'm not doing it for a few months, that's okay. And just knowing I can just extend that timeline. Because we have this idea and we have the time frame and especially when we're applying it to something we've never done before, sometimes things happen that are unexpected.
Sometimes personal things for ourselves, other things happen, and the time frame maybe was never going to be the original time frame. We think it is. We have this idea, this estimate of a plan of how we're going to get there, and we think how it might work, and it's going to change. It's going to be different.
And if it, even if it takes twice as long as you thought, You're still gonna have, like, if you [00:17:00] keep going and you just ignore the time frame, like, you're still working towards it, but if the time frame come and goes and you still don't have your goal, just extend the time frame. Don't just give up on the goal.
The goal and creating the goal and who you are being along the way, that is the important stuff. That's where you learn about yourself and you understand your brain more and you keep showing up and you keep going. That's the important bit. If it takes you twice as long, literally, who cares? You will still have a goal at the end of it.
Like, imagine if. You knew that even two years from now, not in a year, two years, you still had that book published. Would you still do it? A So it's remembering that as well, focusing on the goal as the important piece, and not being as attached to the time frame. So it's like having the time frame, it's useful and you're still really committed to it, you're going after it as much as you can, but not being like, I have to have it in this time frame.
I have to have it. And what often happens is when we are in [00:18:00] that almost like needy, I have to have this now has to happen right now, when we are in a rush, it's because we believe when we have the goal, magically everything is going to get better in some way that we're going to feel different, that we're going to feel more confident, that we are magically going to feel better.
And it just doesn't work that way because we will get to that goal and there will be something else we want to create. And. other hard things in our life. There will be good stuff, there will be bad stuff, and even not even the label of good or bad. There will be things that feel amazing, things that feel really hard that we're working through, like at every single stage along the way, we're going to have things that feel easy and fun and things that feel hard.
And so knowing that even if things feel hard right now, they probably feel fun as well in some way. That is going to be the same when you get to your goal. And so knowing that you can enjoy the process now, [00:19:00] so when you feel that rush, like I need to get to the goal now, it needs to happen now, I can't wait.
It's about slowing down and realizing actually, what is that feeling that you are wanting? So if this is you thinking like imagining your goal and you have it, what is that feeling you imagine it will be like when you're there? So for me, with the podcast, when I was doing this work, when it, before I started, it's like, when I have released 30 episodes, I'm going to feel so proud of myself.
I'm going to feel really confident. Yeah. Mainly confident and proud of myself. And it's like, we start generating that feeling now. And so what I have been doing every single episode along the way, I have been feeling proud of myself. I've been like, well done. You stood up, you showed up, you've kept going and feeling confident.
in myself. As even, even on my first episode, maybe not as confident then, but the confidence has been growing. And just knowing that the more we can experience those [00:20:00] feelings now as we go, the less of a rush we're in there to be there. Like I'm enjoying this process so much. I'm learning so much about myself.
I'm so proud of myself. I'm celebrating every single milestone along the way. Every single scrap of evidence that it's amazing and it's fun and I'm finding all of that. And so I'm enjoying the process so much that I almost don't want it to end. I almost don't want to get to 30 in some weird way.
Because then it will be done and then the goal will be complete. I know I can continue on but like I know having reached goals before that there's, there can almost be this anticlimax of getting there and being like, Oh, I don't have this thing to work towards that I've been working towards for so long that I've like now I am that person.
It's almost, there's almost like a, a sadness and a nostalgia for being the person who doesn't quite have the goal yet. In some ways like, Oh, wow, what an amazing time of working towards something and showing up and doing the hard thing and changing so much along the way and growing so [00:21:00] much along the way and knowing that we will get there and then almost when we get there it's like of course I was going to get here but almost this Yeah, it's like a bit of a sadness for, like, okay, we will never have that goal again.
Like it's done that part of working towards it being that person who was striving for the goal. Like it's kind of done. Now. So even just knowing these moments now, even if things feel hard, even if, You're wishing it was happening quicker and things feel slower and you are in this rush knowing that you at one point are going to look back on these moments right now with a nostalgia, with a sense of like, Oh, that was amazing when I was figuring those things out.
Like, how cool was that? And so almost we can do, I can't remember what the, phrase is called. It's like future hindsight or something. I can't remember. There's a phrase and Yeah, future hindsight. Anyway, basically it's like you imagine you're in the future looking back. And it can often help sharpen your focus of [00:22:00] appreciating where you are right now.
So I often do this sometimes, I'll imagine to the end of my life, looking back and be like, okay, these moments are actually like how I am right now. Freaking amazing. At one point I'd be like, I wish I was 30. I can't even think how old I am. I'm 38. I'm about to be 39. I wish I was 38 again. Sometimes I'll do that when I pass almost like an older person or I run past someone that's a bit older and I'm like, I'm going to at some point that's going to be me looking at someone running past me and like, it just helps me find myself on just enjoying these moments right now.
Or even sometimes with Flynn, even if I'm like snuggling him or sometimes I can catch it in the moment if he's maybe playing up a bit and be like, there'll be one day he'll have left home and I'll wish he was like, trying to wind me up or like push boundaries or try and climb on the table. So it's not always easy.
Like sometimes when we're in it, we're not always able to step back, but the more that we can do this and think, okay, at some point you are a hundred percent going to get to your goal. Like it's, it's there. It's [00:23:00] inevitable. It doesn't matter about the timeframe. Like. You are committed, you're going for it, it's going to happen.
If you can get into that place that doesn't feel as so much of a rush. And if you can imagine you already have the goal, how you're going to look back on these days. These days, these moments right now, they are so precious, they are so magical. These days where you're figuring things out, you're learning so much about yourself, where you are showing up and doing it anyway, week after week, even when you don't want to.
It is magical.
Okay, so goal time frames. First, if you haven't set a time frame, I really, really encourage you to set one. It's going to bring all up all your stuff and that's amazing because remember it's there anyway and you can just look at it, question some of those limiting beliefs, decide if you want to believe them or not, You get to believe like literally whatever you want.
There are no thought police. No one is checking up on you. You can decide to believe whatever the hell you want [00:24:00] just because you want to. So let go of the things that are just not serving you, that are not much fun, that are keeping you stuck. Let go of those. Put some nice juicy new beliefs in there.
really imagining like what is actually possible for you. Okay, so set that time frame and also just let go of the time frame. Focusing on the goal, really believing that that actually is 100 percent going to be possible, that of course it's going to be some point in the future where you've done it, cares about the time frame, and just enjoying these moments right now, enjoying all of this as you're going through towards the goal.
So fun. Right, I hope you have an amazing rest of the day and an amazing week ahead and I'll see you next time.
Speaker 4: Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. [00:25:00] And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Ghouls Club.
