19 The Scary Hour
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[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
I am welcome to episode 19 of the Scary Goals Club podcast. I'm back from holiday. Oh, such a good time away. Did so much exercise, [00:01:00] exercise, so much time outside. And I've come back with almost like a new confidence in my own, you know, ability for endurance and for exercise and for strength training that I kind of been ignoring before I went away and then just did loads of it when I was away.
Spent loads of time outside as well and come back, have joined the gym, which has been amazing, especially because they have these awesome classes during the day. And so on my day with Flynn on Monday, while I just went to the gym, he was asleep. He napped for like He was asleep for like 45 minutes while I was in the gym.
I got like 45 minutes of weights while he was napping in the buggy. It was amazing. So good. And then today I booked a spin class during the day and it was so nice. Normally I wouldn't have on my working days, like exercise in the middle of the day. Cause I'm like, well, I don't want to get ready. And then like do a podcast or do a call.
And then. Go and get sweaty and then have to shower again, but actually today, like my calls were in the afternoon and I was like, I'm just going to record a podcast, this one [00:02:00] after my calls. So I'll just do it then. And then that's all good. And it was great. Cause I got, I had like a chunk of time in the morning to get work done when I hadn't showered.
I just like had my breakfast, gone out for a walk, done a meditation, came back in and was like, okay, boom, boom, boom, go, go, go. And I will tell you about some really fun concept that I have created, which I used this morning. And. Then went and like cycled to the gym, did a spin class and came back. And it was so nice.
I think because I work on my own. Okay. Yes. I'm coaching clients and I'm on calls, but it's me in my room, sometimes Luke and Flynn around often their way, like out for the day, doing some fun stuff. And sometimes I have a maple around. So that's one thing that I found really helpful is like when I'm focusing to get work done.
I find it really helpful to go and be where Maple is. So she doesn't always like coming upstairs to the office. Like even if I put a blanket down, she'd kind of mooch about. So I just take my laptop and I go sit down at the table in the like kitchen living room area. She's on the sofa. I'm just like working away, getting a few things done, have a [00:03:00] cup of tea.
And it's like, I know now. That's something that's really helpful for people with ADHD is having almost like a buddy or like someone there also focusing and getting stuff done. Maple's not getting stuff done, but she's focusing. She's present. She's like a being that's there. And so I'm able to know that she's there and then it helps me focus.
It's the craziest thing. And yeah. The spin class was also good because it's almost being in a room, getting sweaty, listening to like pumping tunes with other humans and getting your heart rate up and having all the endorphins and just like pushing it go, go, go, go, it felt so amazing. And yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just such a nice way to break up the day and to get feeling more energized because of the tunes, because of being in a physical place with other people.
When a lot of the work I do is on zoom, it was so nice to just be in the same room as other humans, all cycling on our bikes and not going anywhere, getting super sweaty. But yeah, it was just so good. And [00:04:00] what I've been continuously playing with over the last, like, well, really since having Flynn last like year and a half.
is ditching the rules for how I should work and actually just being playful with trying different things and leaning into different things and following what feels exciting and interesting and fun and energizing and building more of that in. And it could have been so easy to be like, but it's half an hour out and it's 10 minutes cycle to the gym and 10 minute back and then shower and I'm doing that in the middle of the day and that becomes like two hours.
Like A reason not to. I was like, no, I just do a focused period of work before it. And then I'm just really focused after it. And it's completely shifted my energy. So definitely going to continue to do that. So I just want to also offer the, how can you like break down the rules of how you should work and be a bit more playful with just what energizes you and bringing it into the day.
So that's quite fun. Now, the other thing that I want to talk about today is something called the scary hour. Well, I've called it the Scary Hour. There's maybe a better [00:05:00] name. I could think about it, but scary hour. Okay. This concept I have found so helpful for continuously taking scary action for doing scary things for not putting stuff off till like next week or till I feel like it, but doing the stuff that feels a bit scary and actually doing it like today.
Here's how it works. And you can do the scary hour too. And you can do it whether it's towards your goal or anything else. And I just want to offer that whether it's scary action towards your goal or whether it's scary action towards some other goal or whatever else you're working on, it almost doesn't matter.
Obviously it's useful to be moving towards your goals. So as long as it's scary action that's moving you in general, in the way you want to go in your life, it almost doesn't matter because what you are doing with The scary hour is you're building the muscle of taking scary action, even [00:06:00] when you don't feel like it.
I'm just having it as a regular thing. Okay. So here's what it is. The scary hour is an hour that you put in your calendar every day or like start with like once a week or like twice a week. It's in your calendar. So for me it would be like every working day in the calendar. Like one of the first things I do after I'd normally trying out for walk in the morning it.
I feel better when I do a meditation when I write down gratitude and write down my wins like that puts me in a better energy and a better mindset. So usually I do those things first. And then the scary hour is having this hour blocked in your calendar where you are doing stuff that like feels really scary stuff that you have probably been avoiding.
Probably the stuff that's been on your to do list for a few weeks. Maybe it's asking someone for a testimonial. Maybe it's asking someone if you can collaborate with them. Maybe it's making an offer. Maybe it's putting a. Like a spicy or pointy post out on LinkedIn about something maybe [00:07:00] it's for me. So this morning's one was doing some invoicing that I'd been picking off and also like going through there's some finalizing for the business accounts and like going through and like answering questions from the accountant.
The email came in just when we were traveling back from holiday and it was like, not urgent, just look at it when you have time. And I was like, yeah, I'll get to it on Tuesday, which is like my first working day back. And I came up with all the excuses. I didn't have a scary hour in on Tuesday, but I came up with literally all the excuses of, well, this is more important.
And I've got a full day of calls. So I can't just like look at his email. I didn't even look at it until the scary hour this morning. And literally it took like 15 minutes to answer some questions, find out some information, attach some things to it.
So with the scary hour, you are physically putting it in your calendar, okay? So putting it in, even decide now, when do you want to do it? When's your next scary hour going to be? Lock at an hour in your calendar. You can call it a scary hour or call it something else if [00:08:00] you've got like a shared work calendar and that doesn't resonate.
And in that time, you're going to be putting in like, what are things that feel really scary that you've been putting off? What are some of those things? And even as you go along, like the rest of your day or even your week, say you have it once a week or a couple of times a week, you can be adding stuff in that you're like, I know I don't want to do this, but I know I want to do this by the end of the week or like by the end of the day.
Okay, I'm going to do it during this hour and it's an hour where you have no distractions. So you turn like you close down on your email unless you're emailing, but you turn off notifications or like stop incoming email. Put your phone away, put it on airplane mode, like put it out of sight, put it in a drawer in another room, charging somewhere else, put it in your bag, have maybe like headphones in, some way to focus, have everything that you need, and then you're going to sit down, you're going to do the things that you've decided you're going to do [00:09:00] in the scary hour and they will be done.
And here is what will happen. so the first thing that's going to happen during like when you go to start the scary hour is you will see it in your calendar and you'll be like. Why did I put that in? Oh, I so don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. It's the first thing that's going to happen.
See it in your calendar and you'll have so much resistance to actually doing those things. Because you've had resistance to doing them over the last week or weeks or whatever, how long they've been put off. The resistance is still going to be there, like nothing's changed. It's like we, Often tell ourselves, okay, I will do this when I like feel really inspired and really motivated.
But that doesn't just happen. If there's some resistance to doing something, it's normally because of a story that our brain has around it. So for me with like the resistance to all the account stuff, I know that there's a story that like, I'm just not that organized. I'm not good with money. Like I don't.
know how this [00:10:00] works, which also I know is not true. And I can challenge that and question it. And it's like, it's just old money beliefs coming, but still, whether it's an email of questions of like, I need this information. It's like, I've missed something. I've forgotten something. I'm going to get in trouble.
Like all of that story comes in and I feel like nervous and dread. And I just like, You want to avoid it, so it's totally normal. So there's probably some story coming up around whatever it is that you are avoiding. Totally normal. So the resistance is going to be there. You're not going to want to do it.
You're going to do it anyway. Okay. And just knowing that it just takes courage to start, okay, that's all it takes Unless you actually get into it. You will be so in the task that you won't even like, remember that you didn't want to do it at all. Like once I was like, Oh, Hey, I'm going to like, go through the email and like answer the questions, like open the email read through.
It was like, Oh, that's fine. That's totally [00:11:00] fine. Okay. But just even like, Getting over the inertia of like, Oh, I don't want to open the email. And then once I did it, I was like, okay, cool. I'll attach the bank statement and do this and like find this thing and like log into that and like do this and get this information like was able to do all of that.
So the starting is the hardest part. You're going to have resistance. It is totally normal. And I just want to offer that because you're calling it a scary hour. It's like, you're going to be scared during this hour and that's okay. You're going to need to generate courage to actually start and that's okay.
And once you get the momentum, like once I started and was like, boom, boom, boom, like replying to the email, sending it off, all of the other things that I wanted to get done in that hour were so much easier and it didn't even take me an hour. That's the cool thing. So not only will it take you less time when you're grouping some of these like scary things together, either you can just then stop before the hour is up.
Or even you might be on a roll and be like, Ooh, maybe I'll email that person. Maybe I'll reach out to so and so like, Ooh, that would be good. it becomes [00:12:00] satisfying, feeling scared, generating courage, doing the thing. And then being like, Oh my gosh, I did it like you feel so proud of yourself for not stopping, for not like putting off for another week for not like avoiding it for actually doing it.
You feel so amazing. You get a rush from doing this thing that felt so big and scary. Just like, okay, what else is there? Like, okay, that was good. It's like, just doesn't become as scary anymore. And so this skill and this muscle, like, Whether it's something, you know, like doing the accounts and replying to that email has nothing to do with my scary goal of this podcast, but it's still building that muscle and that practice of, I feel the fear, I feel the resistance, like every cell in my body does not want to do it.
And that's okay. I'm going to do it anyway. And then really getting into it, getting into the swing of it, realizing it wasn't that bad. It's almost like telling your brain, showing your brain, it wasn't that bad. And then be like, boom, what else can I do? Often what happens is [00:13:00] when fear comes up and something feels scary is we don't even take that first step to even do the thing.
And so then like the fear can mean stop when we just shut down and there's so many amazing things we could be doing that we're not doing because of the fear. So having like a focused, like scary hour where it's like, yeah, for this hour, all the fear is going to come up and you're going to do it anyway.
And it's the fear just will never be as bad as you think it is. It's always, always going to feel worse at the start. So even it's like, you know, give yourself a shake, get a cup of tea, get ready, be like, okay, here we go. Scary hour commencing. And then it'll be like, Oh, is that, is that literally it? Try it.
Honestly, it is so much fun.
And here's why it's so important to actually put it on your calendar because it can be easy to be like, yeah, cool. I'll do, I'll do this scary hour. Like the Hazel was talking about. Yeah. Maybe I'll do it maybe at the end of the day. Like if I have time, no. One of the first things you do. [00:14:00] Hitting it on your calendar because when it is on your calendar, when you have decided ahead of time, like, okay, during this hour, I am doing the scary stuff.
All of the stuff that I've been avoiding, I'm going to do it. It's visible. You see it on your calendar. You've made the decision ahead of time that you're going to be doing it. And now it's like, okay, this is what I'm going to be spending my time on. It also means it's time bound. So rather than like random tasks that you're kind of avoiding and putting off and just like ignoring.
Bringing them all together, all the scary stuff and just be like boom. And the amount of time that you're going to save condensing this all into one hour, whether it's an hour a week or an hour every few days or an hour every day, rather than like spreading these out over weeks and just having them like the thought loops when you haven't done something that you know ultimately you want to do.
Like that's the thing. Ultimately, I want the accounts to be submitted and I want to get back to the accountant, even if in the moment I'm like, I don't want to read the email, but ultimately I want that to [00:15:00] happen. So every time I haven't done it, if it's like in the back of my mind, like, Oh, I need to get back to that email or I need to read the email.
It just goes round and round and round because your brain's like, Better think about this thing, better do this thing, or maybe you didn't do that thing or you see it on your to do list, you see it written down, it's like, ah, and you can imagine like, okay, I still haven't done it. And it becomes this bigger and bigger thing.
When you have this time, the scary hour that you're going to do this stuff, it just bring it like condenses and collapses the timeframe, not only to getting the thing done, but reduces the amount of the mental load that goes along with not getting these things done. Because you just do them. It's like, okay, it feels scary.
And now they're done. And you feel amazing afterwards. And so not only will you be getting some of these bigger, chunkier things that you want to get done, done, but you're going to just have, like, feel so much lighter because it's like, Oh, I don't have to think about them anymore. Like it doesn't drag them out.
And there's these like thought loops going around and around.
When it is time bound, like having [00:16:00] this mini deadline, it takes it. This is why putting things on your calendar can be so powerful. It takes it off this like piece of paper where it's just this 2D list and you're saying no I am doing this at this point in time it's like a mini deadline so it can help something that feels like I'll do it at some point like okay cool now now I'm going to do it and it just helps get that momentum to actually start and to get these things done and you'll be able to make so much more progress than Not putting it on your calendar or just like doing it one thing at a time and having everything spread out.
So it's bringing together all the things you're avoiding that feel really scary. And that is what the scary hour is all about.
Okay, so here's how you want to do it. Decide now, is it once a week you're doing scary hour? Is it once a day? Is it once every few days? Like what do you want that to be like? And maybe you want to try it as once a week for an hour. So decide now, okay, how often are you doing it? And when are you doing it?
I would recommend doing it in the morning [00:17:00] just because, again, if you tend to put the scary stuff off, and no judgment, we all do this, okay, because it feels really scary. It's like, I don't want to do it, which is, and it's never as bad as we think, right? So if you tend to put stuff off, if something's at the end of the day, there can almost be this like anticipation of how bad it's going to be and the dread and the worry and the like, Oh, I've not done it yet.
It could be bad. And because when we don't know how something is going to be, our brain will always Automatically go to the worst case. So for me with the email from my accountant, it's like it's going to ask me about this and this won't be right and I'll have made all these errors and going to like what the worst case and I'll be fined and I'll be.
in jail as a director or whatever, but it goes to the worst case. If you do it first thing, it's like, okay, get the information, what's actually happening, do all the scary stuff, and then it's done. And like, literally, I felt so amazing afterwards. I've not even thought about it for the rest of the day, other than this podcast and being like, I have to share this to the scary [00:18:00] hour with you guys, because I think you'd find it really fun as well.
So ideally put it at the beginning of the day, but think about when works best for you. How often are you doing it? When are you doing it? And then go right now and just put it in your calendar and even have it as like a recurring thing that's in whether it's once a week, once every day, and just know that it's there.
It's blocked out. And then as you go through the week thinking Okay. I'm going to do that thing during the scary hour. Okay. I'm going to do that thing during the scary hour. And it can, it becomes almost this like game of like, Ooh, how many more scary things can I add in? Like, and then you start thinking bigger.
It's like, Ooh, I could do this thing or like, Oh, maybe I'll speak to this person. you get the momentum from taking action. So once you start taking scary action, suddenly it's the snowball. It's like, oh, it doesn't feel so scary anymore.
So you're almost like, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? And it just,
like your life and your day, it will just change in ways. I can't even like explain, but the power of [00:19:00] making scary action and just realizing that so much of it is The fear is in our heads and actually when we come down to it's like, Oh, that was literally not as bad as we thought. And the more that we can practice doing this, the more that you can build the muscle.
So ideally if you can be doing scary action every day, amazing. If not once a week and you might find that you start to get into a bit more of a momentum of like when something feels scary, you're like, okay, I'm going to do it. Like you get into the habit of feeling that fear being present with it and being like, okay, I'm going to do it anyway.
Like, it's so amazing how it's. It's so quick to shift that mindset once you just start taking that scary action and proving to your brain. I didn't die. I'm still here. Everything's okay.
And a couple of things that can really help. So when you go to do the scary hour and you don't want to, and your brain's like, why did you put this in the calendar? The terrible idea, two things that will really help. Just start and just help you take that first step. Like for me, it was opening the email.
So the first is [00:20:00] imagining how it's going to feel after. So powerful, like connecting with, you know, this is something you want to do. Yes, there's this like temporary discomfort, but soon it's going to feel amazing because you've actually done it and you will feel so proud of yourself. The more that you can connect in the moment where it like feels the discomfort and you want to run away and not do it, the more you can just think, okay, yes, this discomfort is temporary, but then I will have done it and then I will be moving in the direction that I want to go.
And like, how amazing that was going to feel. Like literally, I was blown away. buzzing after I was like, yes, I did it. I didn't put it off. So good. Like that is possible as well. And the more that you can connect also having that feeling of like the elation and It's going to help the next time it comes to do the scary thing, it's going to be like, I felt so freaking amazing after doing it.
I'm going to do it again. So it's like that positive reinforcement. So the more that before you're about to do it, the more you can think about how amazing it feels after that's going to help so [00:21:00] much to help you just take that first step and generate that courage to do the thing. The second thing that's really helpful is imagining like, who is that version of you that you want to be?
So this is where we talk a lot about like. In coaching like our future selves. So there's this version of us in the future who has already create the goal who has already done the scary thing who just does these scary things all the time and it's not a big deal. So for me, it's like there's that version of me in the future that doesn't get.
doesn't shy away and avoid emails from her accountants. And he's amazing as well. Like I, uh, I do read them and I do get back to them as much as I can, but I'm like, Oh, I don't want to see it. Like, what if I, it is because the story for me is like, I've done something wrong somehow. It never means that. And even if it did, it's like, I'm adding the meaning of doing something wrong.
It's like, maybe I've missed something, but it's not a big deal. It's not me doing something wrong. It's just sometimes we miss things when we're doing accounts. So [00:22:00] like when I was thinking this morning with the scary hour and like, okay, I'm going to do. And open this email and get back to the accountant.
I was imagining that version of me in the future who doesn't shy away from the emails. Who's just like, okay, cool, this email comes in and I just get back to it. And that's just how it is. Like I don't put it off. I was like, I am going to step into being her now. By doing this now, by not leaving it another week or like not avoiding it or not like making excuses about not doing it today, I was really imagining that version of me who's just like, okay, yeah, cool.
Here's an email from the accountant. Do, do, do the stuff's back and like onto the next thing. And so that also really helped me. Actually open the email and start the whole thing and then realize it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. It rarely, rarely is as bad as we think it is. And even in the times when it is as bad as we think it is.
Then we just figure out and we deal with it, but when we imagine the worst case and we imagine all these terrible things and we avoid it, we create [00:23:00] this huge big story in our head of how bad and terrible things are and it rarely pans out that way. So we're have all this like anxiety and dread and fear and worry up front that so many times I have found.
Like never pans out that way. It's so unfounded. So you may as well also going in just assume like it actually might not be that bad because it barely is as bad as you think it's going to be. I promise. So I hope that was helpful. Let me know how you get on taking the scary hour. Are you going to try it out with your scary goal or with your work or in your business or with other parts of your life?
Like, yeah, let me know how you get on playing with that concept and that tool and hope you have an amazing rest of the day and an amazing week and I'll see you next time. Bye.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper [00:24:00] and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Ghouls Club.
