[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Hi and welcome to the Scary Goals Club podcast. I'm Hazel Robertson and today has been a funny day work wise. Flynn is off sick so Luke and I are [00:01:00] like tag teaming working calls and hanging out with him and I'm not feeling 100 percent neither of us are feeling 100 percent we're okay but if this is a little bit lower energy today then.
No, you know why I haven't been sick, but definitely feeling like a little bit queasy. But then I remember like during, when I was pregnant, I can't even think how many years ago that would be. I had morning sickness and I was still able to do some calls.
I would like to jump on client calls and have like a bucket there and then go and I was like, okay, worst case if I really need to actually be sick, I can just put the video off. Be like, hang on a second. my mic off and be sick in the bucket. I don't have a bucket here. It's not that bad. I do have an empty cup.
So if you, if I need to suddenly pause it, then there we go. Anyway, probably too much information. But for today, I just wanted to share something that if you find your brain [00:02:00] often goes to the worst case, something that's going to help you. First of all, if your brain goes to the worst case, like it's normal, that is how it's designed to work to like scan for danger, imagine and predict what it thinks the worst case will be in an order, like in order to try and protect you.
So it is a survival thing if you're doing it and your brain is doing it, like nothing has gone wrong. And I'm going to talk through why it's actually just not that helpful and then what to do instead. So, and I'll give you some specific examples. I'll give an example actually even just of the podcast. So imagine if all I was thinking about when I was coming on to record was imagining like messing up my words and thinking about what it is for your scary goal.
Like if there's something where your brain is going to the worst case.
if it was like, okay, and I'm going to mess my words up. I'm like, what if I don't, what if I remember, forget to say something? And Oh, what if this, like, I probably feel quite panicked, maybe a bit anxious. Maybe like there's some fear in there.
Basically. Feeling swirling [00:03:00] around that would cause me to then, because if you remember how we are thinking about whatever our goal is, the situation that is driving how we're feeling. Okay. So it's not the, for example, in this situation, I would be anxious about recording a podcast. The only reason I'd be feeling anxious or fearful.
is because of some thought I was having about recording a podcast, such as I'm going to mess it up. I'm going to look stupid. I'm going to forget what I was going to say. Like the thought, the story, the thinking, that's what would be driving my feeling. So it's so important. Like even just, I'm going to repeat it again.
Take a moment to let that sink in. If you're feeling anxious or fear or panic or whatever, when you're going to the worst case, thinking about your scary goal, It's not because of your scary goal, it's because of how you are thinking about it. Okay. Which is amazing news because we can change once we're aware of the story our brain is telling us, we can actually shift that narrative.
So knowing that the default thinking might be more on the quote unquote negative or [00:04:00] unhelpful It's trying to be helpful. Your brain's trying to keep you safe. We can actually shift that in a way that's going to be more helpful. So coming back to the example, if I was feeling anxious or panicked because I was imagining and thinking about the worst case and messing up my words coming on and off.
Even as I'm talking about this, I'm a bit like, oh, in my own head anyway, if I was feeling that way before I was coming on and recording each podcast, I'd probably be quite in my own head overthinking it. And I know from having done this in the past when I've been imagining, you know, standing up and speaking, like when I first started doing public speaking.
imagining like messing things up, forgetting things, I'd be really in my own head. I'd be maybe over practicing so that it would feel almost quite like robotic. I wouldn't just let it flow and just be willing to add bits in and take bits out and, and do it like a bit more on the cuff, like I can now. It was almost, I'd be like over preparing, Over rehearsing, really worrying about like the worst case, worrying and oftentimes when I was in these [00:05:00] situations, like I'd be in my own head, I wouldn't actually be connecting with the audience or a really authentic version of me.
I would just be thinking about what was coming next and that I might mess something up So like even for this podcast, if I was only thinking about the worst case of recording it and how it was going to just like mess things up, it would be very different.
These episodes would feel very different for you to listen to. And actually I would be more in my own head. I would be overthinking things and I would then Be more likely to make mistakes. So the outcome of that is I would be more likely to actually make mistakes because I wouldn't be present. I wouldn't be flowing like in the flow state.
I wouldn't be fully focused on what was in front of me. I would be in my own head. We can tell that like if you're listening to someone that's not quite there or they're overthinking stuff, you can tell that that's happening and it just doesn't have the same connection. It just doesn't have the same feel.
So here, like with that as a specific example, knowing that If my brain, if I just let it go to this worst case and I was like, Oh, it's going to happen. [00:06:00] I would actually create that for myself. The worst case of like messing up my words, forgetting things, not connecting with the audience I would be creating by imagining that worst case by feeling anxious or panicked and by being in my own head and like, just, I'd be more likely to mess things up.
again, thinking for your scary goal, if your brain is always going to the worst case. Like, think about how that's making you feel and think about how that's making you then show up around your scary goal. Or maybe, like, there's a fear of, okay, I'm gonna not be able to do it.
And then you probably, like, Feel uncertainty or like disappointment or frustration, whatever is coming up. You maybe you shut down, you don't do anything. It's like, you're less likely to actually make your scary go get happen. And so what we focus our attention on the most, where we put our brain, where we are imagining, where we're putting our thinking, our attention, we create more of that.
So if we're thinking about the worst case of something, we will create more opportunities for the worst case to happen. It's the same with anything, [00:07:00] but especially like breaking that down for your scary goal. So just knowing if your brain is going to the worst case, like it's totally normal and it's also not always that helpful.
Sometimes it can be. So I want to give a caveat, which is, maybe you're like, yeah, but here's what I need to think about all the things that could go wrong so I can prepare for Now, I just want to offer that that's a different Feeling that that will be coming from. So that is where you take your brain from a calm place.
So you're using your prefrontal cortex. Remember when we are in a calm place, we can access the prefrontal cortex, like our thinking part of our brain. From that place, then you can go to asking a question like, okay, what are the things that could go wrong? Writing them down and then using again that like smart part of your brain, the human part of your brain to think, okay.
And how am I going to solve them? That situation is very different than just imagining and having these thought loops and just imagining again and again and again the worst case scenario because we're not actually [00:08:00] solving anything. When we are in that like fight or flight anxious panic state we're not solving it.
We're not doing anything that's going to help create a different outcome. In fact we are exacerbating the outcome because that's all we are focusing on. Like what we're focusing on most we create more of. Yes, there is completely a time and place. And again, thinking for the podcast, I could have sat down and gone, okay, what are all the things that could go wrong?
How can I like stop that one? And maybe it's like, I forget to turn my mic on. It's like, well, I have a checklist that I check every time I go through it. It might be okay. Well, I mess up my words. It's like, okay, well then I just pause, I get back on track and then I will edit it out. So anything like this, it's like, If it feels helpful, 100 percent go and imagine the things that could go quote unquote wrong or like not as you planned and then just think, okay, what would you do if that happened?
That is a useful exercise from a calm place. Okay. If your brain is going in loops about like this might happen, this might happen, this might happen [00:09:00] and going to the worst case, that's when it's not helpful because you're not solving anything. So how do you shift through that? And so if your brain is going to the worst case and imagining and Brains can be very dramatic as well.
They like to have lots of like drama and like they can be very all or nothing. So it's like everything will be terrible. And it'll be awful. And like, you know, even with the podcast, my brain did this a bit. It was like, no one will listen, like no one will listen. It was like, I'll listen to it. At least it'll be like one lister.
Maybe Luke, a while, but maybe my mom will listen. I don't know. It's like, okay, is it going to be that no one listens? Probably not. Maybe one person will, but it could be very dramatic and it's going to be terrible. I'm going to have all these terrible reviews and it's like, okay, maybe that could happen, but it was going to the worst case.
So if your brain is doing this too, again, it's totally normal. Watch all the drama that's going to come up and just know that it's normal. And instead, if you can [00:10:00] catch your brain doing it, okay, this is the key part is to catch it. And maybe you'll realize after, whoa, I spent the last like 20 minutes thinking about everything that could go wrong and that's why I didn't do anything.
If you can catch it then in the moment, so the first step is you'll catch it after, then you'll start catching it in the moment. You'll be like imagining the worst case and you might notice it. from something you're doing. Like, maybe you're avoiding something. It's like, why am I avoiding? Oh, because I'm thinking about all the terrible things that could happen.
It's like, then I'm not going to want to go and do the thing. Or maybe it's the feeling. Maybe you're like, huh, I notice I'm feeling some anxiety when I'm coming to do this. So for me, it's like, I notice I'm feeling like some anxiety when I'm coming to record a podcast. Oh, it's because I'm telling myself I'm going to mess it up.
Or I don't know what I'm doing. So that would be like a specific example. Remember, the anxiety is not from the podcast or your goal, it's from the story your brain is telling you about it. And that's what we're going to be shifting. So once you can notice that, what you want to then do is take your brain to the best case.
How many times [00:11:00] do we actually do this? Like thinking now, if your brain is literally going in thought loops for the worst case scenario, how many times have you actually spent thinking about the best case? Probably not very much. Have you spent like 99 percent on the bad case and like 1 percent on the good case?
And knowing that where we are focusing our attention, what we are putting our energy into, what we are thinking about the most, we end up creating more of. So if you start thinking about the best case, You're more likely to create that.
and I'm going to talk through two ways that you can do that. Okay. The first is to just imagine. the best case. So calm yourself down, take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and then just imagine yourself like the best possible outcome. And really get into as much detail as you can, and really imagine it as if it's already happening.
And what you will notice, is you will [00:12:00] start feeling Probably calmer, maybe a little bit like excited or like proud of yourself. Your emotional state will change because your mental state has changed. Because you are thinking of the best case, you're feeling those feelings as if the best case was happening.
How crazy and amazing is that? This is why visualization is so powerful. This is what athletes use. The Olympics are on at the moment. It's what Olympic athletes use. Like they will imagine the best case of their routines, of their race, of their event so much. So in so much detail, they will have rehearsed it so many times in their mind that it becomes second nature.
It's almost like their body is believing already that like, Oh, this is just how it is happening. It's the same with us. The more time that we can spend and energy that we can put into thinking about the best possible outcome. We will actually be more likely to create it. Remember, where we're thinking and putting our attention and our energy, we're more likely to create more of.
Because if you imagine, like, if I am [00:13:00] for these podcasts, every episode, if I'm imagining like coming on and I do this, like feeling relaxed, connecting, being chatty, not like teaching and being formal, but imagining like you're here in the room and chatting, even though I just have a camera, like literally it's like my desk and a camera.
But I'm imagining that you are there beside me. Like, I'm imagining that and that we're having this conversation and I'm explaining something as if you were here and that, like, these are very intentional. The way that I'm showing up to these podcasts are very intentional because I have imagined it in advance.
I'm imagining that and I'm imagining it right now and therefore I'm creating it. If I was just focused again on like messing up my words, on doing all that, like that is what I would be creating more of. And I would also find all the places I'd mess up my words. I mess up a lot of things. There's a lot of stuff I edit out.
And that's just how it is, but I don't focus my energy there. I don't focus my attention there and literally it's like, who cares? It's just not worth me thinking about it because I know what will [00:14:00] happen if I get hung up on that. I'm not going to be showing up and connecting with you in this moment. So thinking again with your scary goal, like just imagining it.
And one thing I quite like to do is even before I do something, I'll sit down and imagine it. But if it's something like a bigger goal or a bigger, project that I'm working on, I will go out for walks and I'll imagine it. I'll almost like close my eyes or like soft close my eyes so I can still like kind of peek through my lashes a bit and I'll imagine I'm like walking into it and that it's like coming towards me.
It's so fun. It's something I've just been playing around with the last few months and it's so, so powerful. The more that we can spend time thinking about the best case and really imagining it, The easier it's going to be to create it. If, so that's the first part is like imagining it and dreaming about it.
The second one is if that doesn't, like, if imagining it in your mind's eye feels like you try and conjure up an image and it feels a bit fuzzy, first of all, keep practicing because it is a skill. Second of all, that's okay. There's other ways to [00:15:00] access this.
And the second thing is to just grab a piece of paper or I mean you can do it in your phone as well but I quite like the like actually writing stuff out and just write down as if it's going as well as it possibly could. So you'll be writing from the present tense like I am doing this, I am doing that, I am feeling this, I am doing these things, this is how I'm holding myself, this is what I'm wearing, like the more detail that you can pull out.
The better. And again, you will notice as you do this, like your whole physiological state will change. Like the chemical reaction in your body from your brain to your body will change. When you are imagining the best case, you will feel better. You'll feel more motivated, more motivated. There you go.
See, I messed up my words and literally doesn't bother me. More motivated, more inspired, more like grounded, more confident. Like you will feel differently. by either imagining it going well or by writing out how it's already going well. And the key thing is not to be like, I will do this, but it's like, no, I am doing this.
Because if you [00:16:00] imagine, like, when you're actually doing it, you'll be doing it in the present moment. You will be, it's like, I am feeling this. I am standing here. I am talking like this. I am blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So the more that you can write it in the present tense, that's how, like, you're feeding it into your brain.
You're almost like, reprogramming your brain for it to happen like that. So try these things out. And really the key thing with any of this is when your brain is going to the worst case, first of all, it's totally normal. And second of all, you did it with some of the best case.
So it may be like balances it out. Maybe it's like, Half of the time it'll be going to the worst case and you can pull it back and then feed it half of the time of the best case. And just the more that you can swing to feeding it with the best case, the more likely you are to go and create that. And also knowing that this is a skill, this is a practice.
It's not going to like be like that and suddenly change. when we are rewiring your brain and shifting some of these old patterns. They are habitual and they're [00:17:00] just more practiced. And so it's going to take a little bit of practice. It's going to feel a bit funny at first. You'd be like, this is really weird.
This thing that Hazel's like suggested I do, but just trust me, try it, play with it, take these things, like play with what works for you and just feed your brain, the amazing scenario of it going well and you will see that you will start to create that. It's the most amazing thing because our brains are so powerful and yet they are working on default.
Like oftentimes and again it's like before I did this work, before my clients do this work, they're like oh I didn't realize I was thinking that and then then it's a thought and that it's optional and that there's another way to think. Like we don't realize we go around thinking like I'm feeling anxious because of my scary goal or I'm feeling.
like, anxious because I'm recording a podcast. It's like, no, that's not why. There's the missing bit in between is, oh, because my brain is giving me this story and feeding me all these images of how it's not going to work. And like, the more that [00:18:00] we can just get that awareness and stop living on default and start watching this brain, because your thoughts and like what your brain is imagining, like it's not you.
And we know this because you can watch your thinking. You are the observer, you are so much bigger than your brain and your mind, and it's like giving you all these pre programmed thoughts that you've picked up throughout your whole life, and who knows where some of this comes from. Again, you can get into some of that, but just knowing that you can watch that, and just because your brain is offering you a way of thinking, it does not mean it's true.
Okay, the final piece actually, and then I will let you go. When our brain is making sense of the world and trying to imagine into the future, it is using what's happened in the past. It's using that as a measure of what it thinks is possible or what might happen in the future. So anytime, like if you have stood up, and again, if you're, for example, if you're doing public speaking, at some point you've probably stood up and messed up your words.
I remember I had such a fear of public speaking, of standing up and speaking. [00:19:00] Because I remember like in front of the class at school, like my paper shaking as I was trying to read out. I even remember what it was about, like felt thick with nerves and the same in uni. It was like I was sick with nerves.
And so my brain's like, don't do that. You were like separated from the tribe and you're going to die. And it's like, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. But it's using that as evidence of what is actually going to be possible for me in the future. And what it doesn't take into account is like, That's okay.
I didn't die. I've practiced and now I feel more comfortable getting up and speaking and talking about stuff on the cuff and on the fly in front of like large groups of people. if I was just listening to my brain when it was stuck in the past and like pulling up those events when things didn't go quite right and like it felt really horrible standing up and messing up my words and just was like, cool, I'm never going to do it again.
I would miss, like, all of this that is possible and I've made possible for me now. So it's the same with you. If your brain is trying to go to the worst case, it's because something maybe has happened in your past and it's like, this might happen [00:20:00] again, and it's trying to protect you, but it has no idea what is going to happen in the future, like literally no idea.
And so it's using the past as an example of what's going to happen in the future. It literally has no idea. The best way for you to create the future that you want is to imagine the future that you want and keep focused on that and you will create it. Because when you're going to do something you've never done before, like you can't use your past as the evidence.
You can sometimes use some, but using what's helping you and serving you. But you're going to do something you've never done before. Doing your scary goal, you're probably going to do things you've never done before. And how amazing and exciting is that? So feed your brain with the best case. Put it there.
Imagine that it's going as well. as well as it possibly could, and you are going to be more likely to create that. okay. And if you haven't signed up yet to the scary goals club party, all the notes are in, and the link to join is in the show notes. Our first call is Thursday, September 5th. Going to be amazing. We're going to come live on zoom. I'm going to do a little bit of teaching, give you some more tools for your [00:21:00] goals, and then we'll answer literally any question you have.
So come, it's gonna be so good, so fun, half an hour of like energy and in live and getting you super charged for your scary goals and then send you off into the world till the next month and we'll do it again. Okay, have an amazing rest of the week and an amazing rest of the day and I'll see you next time.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Ghouls Club.
