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And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Hi and welcome to episode 30 of the Scary Goals Club podcast. I am probably gonna cry. I'm just gonna put that out there. I'm just feeling quite [00:01:00] like all of the emotions are coming up. This, like, if you've been following along from the start or if you have followed bits of it as I've talked through this podcast, my scary goal that I started out with starting this podcast was to record 30 podcast episodes by the end of 2024 and It's like not even the end of August in 2024 and this is my scary goal.
I am, like, right now, like, I am in the middle of finishing that scary goal. I could actually press stop now and then just put this episode up. Like, maybe it doesn't have to be a full episode. I can still tick it off. This is it and Uh, it's so interesting. I could see myself almost like wanting to delay it and like stretch it out.
I was like, well, maybe I'll like spread out the last few weeks of podcast episodes and just put them every couple of weeks or like spread it out. And it's almost like delaying actually finishing the goal because yeah. And even thinking about it now, I'm going to get quite emotional, but it's like, there's [00:02:00] so many feelings coming up, like just feeling Like relief.
I did it, you know, it's like declaring a big goal like this that I've had for literally years publicly and then going after it, like there's still part of me. I knew that I would, like I was imagining finishing it and recording 30 episodes, but like. Showing up for 30 weeks is like over half a year, like again and again and again, even when I didn't want to, even when I didn't feel I had anything useful to say and that I didn't think anyone was listening, like all of this self doubt that was coming up, like I still showed up anyway and I'm just, I always feel so proud of like my past self, even when she felt low, even when it felt really hard and she was doubting herself and she kept showing up and so yeah, there's a lot of like relief that I have done it when declaring something so publicly.
Also, I just realized I might have chia seeds in my teeth. I didn't even check. Anyway, [00:03:00] I can feel them. They're in the back of my teeth. I just had a bowl of porridge with chia seeds before this. Anyway, if I'm picking them out, that's what's happening. But yeah, just so like relief that I have done it because I set out to do it and there's a relief in that.
and then pride, like, just feeling so proud of my past self and just thinking back, like, all the times it felt so hard that I didn't want to stand up and record it and that I didn't want to go on video, I didn't want to turn my camera on, I didn't want to speak. And then all the times I did and I felt I had so much to share and I loved that.
Like, I'm just so proud of her for continuing to show up even when things felt really hard She got bogged down in the admin of the behind the scenes of the editing and the uploading and the posting about it. Like she still showed up and it's like, I just feel so proud also of this. Like, these 30 episodes, like, having them there that, I don't know, someone can take and listen back to and [00:04:00] get something useful from it and start to change things in their own life and become more confident and go after their own scary goals.
So I just feel, like, so proud of myself for that. And then, yeah, there's also, like, A little bit of, and I know this from having set other big goals in the past and created them is there's almost like a little bit of sadness and a little bit of like nostalgia for like, and that's maybe why I'm feeling a bit sad is like, like, Oh, I'm no longer like, I'm no longer working towards this goal.
Like it's been, I feel like this goal and working towards it and what it has required of me and what I have learned about myself and all of that has just like, I've learned so much along the way. And I've. Become more sure of myself in certain ways and trust myself more. Like there's so much I've learned from it by doing this podcast and by sharing these things.
And it's almost like that feels like it's over now. [00:05:00] It's not over. Like the podcast isn't over, but like the element of the goal of it is over. And it's almost this nostalgia for being on my first 30 episodes of the podcast and working towards the goal. And it's almost like, in some ways beginning, I don't know, there's maybe a little bit of nostalgia for that.
It's like, wow, this dream that I've like, literally had for so long, like, is now, like, I'm living it and I have it. And it's not that there's sadness, like, of course. I'm so like amazed and delighted with it as well, but it's just this whole mix of emotions and like, you might resonate with this if you set a big goal as well.
I know from so many of my like bigger expeditions and bigger endurance races, things I've just wanted for so long I've been working towards and like, there's, this is why it doesn't get, I think I've talked about this in previous episodes, but it's like, it doesn't get better. Like things are not magically better [00:06:00] when you reach your goal.
Like it is a Friday. I have procrastinated a bit this morning and had lots of feelings of self doubt and that I'm not good enough and that I don't want to be seen for who I am. Like all of that stuff's come up again. And like, you know, just because I've created 30 podcast episodes, I don't suddenly feel like this amazing, confident podcaster.
Like I understand more about the whole process for sure. And I understand more about myself, but like life is still a mix of things that feel like more comfortable, more positive, like happy, excited, joy, all that. And then the stuff that feels really heavy and hard where we doubt ourselves, even though it's like.
Literally, this is my 30th time standing up here and doing this and, or even more cause I think there's one still that I haven't actually published, but I think it just, it wasn't actually one of them. I did that. I pre recorded was like, I'm not putting this out there, but this one, I don't think in particular it was that good.
So maybe I will listen back at some point, but so actually I've recorded more, but this is my 30th podcast going out into the world. [00:07:00] And yeah, it's like things, and I know that, but things don't magically change suddenly when you create a goal. it's not like overnight, suddenly, boom, your identity changes. You have been changing your identity all the way along by imagining yourself as a podcaster, as someone who's already done 30 episodes. So like, by the time I'm here, like, that is my identity. That is just what I believe about myself.
It didn't magically change. It's been changing the whole way along. And one of the other key pieces is like, because. I make a practice and a habit. And again, I talk about this in a previous episode, but because I make a practice to celebrate all of the tiny wins, even the tiniest, tiniest ones, right now I am celebrating this so much.
And yes, all of these feelings are coming up and it's a complete mix and it feels, you know, a mix of like the relief and the happy and the joyous and then the sad and the like the heaviness and the like nostalgia really is coming in as well. But because I have. Like [00:08:00] every single episode I've been celebrating, every single person who listens to this podcast, every single person who reviews this podcast, I am like celebrating the heck out of it.
Because it's so easy to be like, oh, but I should be here or I should have this many downloads or whatever. It's like getting into that. It's like, no, just like completely celebrating. Every. Single. Thing. That I actually have. Not all the time. Like it's easy. Sometimes my brain's like, Oh, you should be further along.
Oh, you should have this. Oh, you should have that. But being able to bring it back and celebrate all the wins, celebrate, celebrate like all of the progress that I am making and that I have made. It means that right now, when I have done episode 30, like I'm going to celebrate the heck out of it. I'm not actually sure how I'm going to do it yet, but maybe, I don't know, something do like a little toast, go for a little walk.
Maybe I'll put a post out about it when it's actually out, but just sinking into being like, okay, I have done this. Like I set out to do [00:09:00] this thing. It was this crazy dream of something I had wanted to do for so long and had never actually done. And now I have actually done it. Like I am now the person who's created 30 podcast episodes and the more, like when I used to set big goals and I would achieve them, like I'd create them, but I wouldn't always celebrate the progress as, as I was going.
And so when I would. Finish the goal. That'd be like, cool, cool. Onto the next thing. It'd be like, yeah, that was cool. That was fun. Onto the next thing. Okay. I almost didn't really sink in to be like, that was amazing. Like you have just created something that wasn't there before that you have never done before that you never maybe at one point imagined that you could ever, ever do.
Like there's a, a race called the Marathon to Sables that I did. I can't even think when I did it. 2017. I remember I was working in London for a couple of years. This must have been maybe 2014. And one of my colleagues was like, For my 30th year, I'm going to run the marathon to Sables. And I like, I kind of heard of it as a thing.
And literally I was like, [00:10:00] I could never do that. So in 2013, 14, I was like, I could just never, ever do that. I know that I could never do that. And I just like had this thing. I was like, never, I could do that. And then started being like, Okay, maybe I could do that. And then like some other people I knew were thinking about doing it and other friends had done it.
And it was like, okay, so suddenly you're going from like, I could never do this, like blanket. Nope. To like, okay, well maybe like breaking the belief a little bit. I mean, I understand it's beliefs and I didn't back then, but it's like, okay, putting like little bits of possibility, like, huh, well this person was able to do it.
Or like my colleague who went and ran it, it was like, she was able to do like, okay, well she can do it. Maybe I can do it. And it was like, just like shining little bits of light to be like, okay, maybe this actually could be possible for me. And then three or four years later I had run it, but I didn't even like, I'm thinking about it now.
And it's like, that is amazing. I was so adamant. I would never be able to do it. It was so, I would just, Anyone that would listen that talked about it, I was like, Oh, I could never do that. It was just like the first [00:11:00] thing I automatically said. And of course I just shut that down as like a possibility. And actually when I let it be a possibility and then I was able to create it a few years later.
And so even now I look back and I'm like, that was amazing that I was able to do that. But at the time, by the time I'd actually run it, I was like, cool, cool. Yeah. Onto the next thing, which was like, Came back, did the London Marathon, then did an expedition across Alaska, then we moved to like, Geneva and there was just so many things.
It was like, onto the next thing, onto the next thing. I didn't pause and be like, that was freaking amazing. I did it. Whether or not I actually enjoyed it, it's another thing, but I did it. And I think it's just like, Now I know how powerful it is when we can celebrate when we can just sit in like in coach speak terms, it would be like the having of it.
So it's like we have been working towards this goal. It has been something in the future. We're becoming that person. We are like showing up when we don't want to. We are doing scary things, doing hard things, figuring out, learning about ourselves, like continuously [00:12:00] doing that towards the goal. And then we have it, and it's actually just spending time being like.
I've done it and celebrating it and being really present with it because what that does is it helps us just enjoy these moments of our life and really almost understand, like, let's say the gravitas of it, but that maybe sounds a little bit dramatic, but understand how. amazing that we are and how powerful we are at being able to create things that we have never done before and create things with our mind that were not there in the world before.
And the more that we can celebrate this and sink into it and just like recognize it. The easier it is to then have the momentum to then create whatever is next to be like, Oh, now it's this, rather than like creating what's next from a like cool cool onto the next thing. Because then we're always just onto the next thing.
And we're never actually fully present, like in this moment, celebrating being like, look how far we've [00:13:00] come. This is amazing. Like, well done. And actually giving ourself. Like a well done and they're like you did amazing like you have had this dream for so long and Now you have done it. I'm probably gonna cry again But so I think that's so important so powerful.
So it's like if you I'm going to check my mic because literally the battery in this one's cut out twice and had to re record bits of this twice. No we're good. Um, and so if you have created your scary goal or when you create your scary goal, just giving yourself some moments to feel all the feelings and it's going to be mixed because we're humans and we're messy and there's lots of like different stuff that we're going to be feeling.
It's not, we're not going to feel suddenly super confident and powerful like we thought we were. When we would achieve the goal and we'd like feel totally different it's like there's going to be a mix in there and it's just being present with all of that. And like giving yourself space just be like [00:14:00] like this is now my reality like at one moment I'm gonna cry again but it's like yeah even just at one point couldn't I could never imagine like a few years ago having 30 podcast episodes.
And it's not even just about the podcast episodes, it's about you guys who are like listening. It's not just 30 podcast episodes just like out in the world in the ether and that's them just sitting there. But it's like you're actually listening to it, like you're giving your time, your attention, you are taking these tools, you're asking questions.
It's this like co creation, you're applying them to your own life, you're sharing your wins. Like all of that is just, it's like the biggest gift. It's just the most. Like amazing thing. And it's just sinking into that. And cause it's easy to be like, okay, now we've done this. Like what is next? And actually we saw that with like the Olympics.
It's like the Olympics winning, you know, winning all these like amazing medals, gold medals, and they're like, okay, what's next? And it's like, actually we do this in society and we're often conditioned to be like, [00:15:00] okay, the next thing, the next thing it's like, what if it's just like. Sinking into what we have created right now, because at one point, like, we never had it.
It's like something my coach used to say, it's like, you are now like who you are now right now, having created your goal or wherever you are in the progress towards your scary goal, you are your past self's dream. Like at one point, your past self was dreaming about this moment, was dreaming about where you are now.
Like, everything around you, everything you've created, who you are, is a dream that you once had. That you had dreamed up and imagined, like, that is what you have now created. At one point, this didn't exist. You didn't exist as you are now. You didn't have these things that you've created. Like at one point, this was all just something in your imagination.
And you have made that happen. You have brought it to life. And it's just sinking into like how amazing is that? What a gift to be able to [00:16:00] have something in our mind, an idea of something we want to create. and actually make it happen. Like when we think, that is why I just love like setting goals and scary goals and thinking bigger and dreaming bigger because it's like we realize what we are actually capable of.
We realize how powerful our minds are when we focus not on what's not working and the problem and our past and how hard things are, but we focus on like What is that future I want to create? Who do I want to be in this world? How do I want to leave like my impact, my legacy on this world? How do I want to change things?
How do I want to learn more about myself in this process as I am becoming who I want to ultimately be? How do I want to get to the end of my life and be like, yes, that was freaking amazing. I listened to those dreams. Okay, maybe they stayed uncovered for a few years, but I actually went after them. And I just listened deep down to my heart to what I knew that I was called to do.
And I went for it. It's just the biggest gift. And it's [00:17:00] not like, yes, I've recorded 30 podcast episodes, but it is so not about even this goal. It's like, it's not about the goal itself. It's never about the goal itself. It's always about who we learn that we are in the process, who we figure out we are more of in this process, how we learn about We are showing up in the world and who we actually deep down want to be and like what we're good at and what excites us and what lights us up and what brings us joy and what we just love doing like that is the purpose of setting goals not to like beat ourselves up and we get there and then we're on to the next thing it's never about the goal.
It's always about who we are becoming along the way, what we are learning about ourselves and like how we want to feel and then getting to the goal and just being like, huh, I did it! And even if you don't get to the goal, you can still do that at every point along the way.
Like, ha, I got here. And that's the power of celebrating is like [00:18:00] every single point along the way you are celebrating. You're like, look at this progress I've made. I am so much further along than I thought I could ever be. And here I am. And it's almost like whether you get to the goal or not, like it doesn't really matter, but also getting to the goal can be super fun as well.
But it's just, yeah. And the other thing just. That I know from past goals, and I'll maybe do maybe my next podcast episode will be on this is oftentimes after we work like towards something, and maybe this is why there's a bit of sadness as well, but because I know that when you when I've been working towards something in the past.
And this happens for most people because often when we are working towards something, there's a lot of dopamine released. So it's like in anticipation of moving towards of creating the goal, like it feels very rewarding and satisfying in our brains. So dopamine's released, it's a neurotransmitter and it neurochemical and it just helps us be motivated and actually take action and actually move towards our goal.
So it helps us in like [00:19:00] drive and motivation and like actually doing. The things that we want to do. And so a lot of dopamine is released as we're working towards our goal. And then often what can happen is like when the goal ends. I call it like the cliff edge and I actually called it the cliff edge long before I understood that it was dopamine that was driving it and that actually we get like a bit of a peak of dopamine and then after we get this peak, it falls off.
We have like a baseline level of dopamine and there's things you can do to kind of like increase that baseline, but we generally have a baseline level. As you're working towards a goal, like it's increasing, increasing, you've reached the goal, like your dopamine is at its peak. It's like if you ever think of a project and you're kind of like, you know, pushing for the deadline, like the dopamine will be at its peak.
And then when you stop, the dopamine will fall back down, but it doesn't go down to baseline. It drops below and then it slowly comes up to baseline. And like dopamine is also related to mood. So oftentimes you can feel, you know, motivated and like energized just before you're reaching a goal or just before something's happening.
And then it stops, the goal's done, the [00:20:00] deadline's done, the project's finished, whatever it is, and you can get this fall off, this dip in dopamine, and also you can get a lower mood. So when the dopamine drops, your mood can often be lowered as well. So I just know from, again, Like bigger goals I've set in the past, big expeditions, big endurance races, that oftentimes again, you're like work, work working towards it and it's done. And then you can almost feel a bit lost, almost like bereft. It's like you had this focus, something that you were really working towards and like passionate about and learning about and figuring out.
And then you've done it and then it's almost like, okay, now what, and it's a bit like, who am I without having something like this that I'm working towards. And I think there's a few, there's a few things that can be really helpful for that. ,
and so I know that this is coming and I'm going to do a whole episode on this of like, Okay, when this happens, things that you can do to move through, I was going to go into that now, but I'll do a separate episode on it, but I know that this is coming and I also know that it's just [00:21:00] giving myself almost like a bit of space and a bit of just letting whatever feelings come up and just being there with them and like knowing that that's okay.
And I think often we think again, this is why it can feel so, it can feel so different than we think when we, if we. Like if it's your first time or you haven't really set like big scary goals before, or even if you have, what we feel when we create them is so different than how we think we will feel. So as humans, we're like really not that good at predicting how we're going to feel in the future.
We're just really not that good. So we are imagining that we're going to feel like super confident and amazing and we'll feel awesome. Like when we create this goal. And yes, there's an element of that. But again. There's still all the different things of life and there's still other problems and challenges and stuff that you're just working through on a day to day.
So that is still there. Like that doesn't go away just because you've created a goal. Like I still need to think about what I'm going to cook for dinner this evening and like make plans for the weekend and think about that. And I've got like a wash washing on and that still needs hung up. Like those things don't go away.
They're still there. And again, I was still [00:22:00] like had a lot of self doubt this morning. That's still there. It doesn't magically change when I reach the goal. And so we often think we'll feel amazing. And then what often happens is we reach the goal. We do feel amazing for a bit, especially if we've been celebrating, we can almost like sink into it and be really proud of ourself and be like, yes.
That helps. And then we can just be with it, but also because it's going to be different than we think. And then there's this cliff edge that happens afterwards because the dopamine in like our system falls off and takes, it can take a few weeks, the bigger the goal, the bigger the like patient, the increase of dopamine, the bigger the trough and the longer that it takes to then go back to baseline.
And so it's just knowing this. Again, when we're working towards it and our brains are like, I'm going to feel amazing, that's gonna be awesome. And then we don't quite feel as amazing as we think. And then often we have this trough after we have the cliff edge and it takes us a while to get back up to normal again.
It can feel almost like, you know, sometimes we can have a goal, reach it, and then almost just like lose all motivation and just like stop doing [00:23:00] anything. Like sometimes it can go the other way. So it's just knowing this as well that, and again, I'm aware of it. So I know like over the next few weeks just to be really kind to myself, give myself space.
And part of it is like sinking in to like celebrating and having the goal. And part of it's also thinking about, okay, what other things am I wanting to create? And the thing is, I've actually got other goals I am working on as well, like more personal goals. So I'm not like, okay, this one's done. Now what?
And actually I'm going to do a separate episode on that of like having all the goals because what I've kind of realized over this last few months, I know in the one of the first episodes, it was like, you know, pick one goal at a time, which I think still is really helpful if you're new to goal setting, because it's not like I'm going to have 20 goals and spreading like your attention super thin.
But what I have now realized, and maybe it's because I've been through this process or done this a few times, but it's also like what feels really good for you. And for me, having multiple goals has actually felt amazing. And like I did just have the podcast and then I've actually got some [00:24:00] personal ones as well.
And it's felt amazing having a few different ones. And I felt completely energized. I've had the capacity to like visualize and move them all forward. And. So now I've almost like shifted. I'm like, have all the goals or have as many as you want and have like, whatever feels good for you. So there's been so many learnings as well.
I'm not going to do a 30 learnings of 30, what I've learned in 30 episodes. This is just how things are right now, how I'm feeling right now, and what's going on for me. This is a little bit of just what free, free flowing stream of consciousness. So there we go. It's done. The goal is created. The podcast isn't done, that will continue on and yeah, I'll let you know how I get on with the cliff edge, the dip that's going to come after and.
Yeah, let me know. How are you getting on with your scary goals? Have you created them? What's going on there? Like, give me a bit of an update as well. yeah, here we are. It is done. [00:25:00] 30 podcast episodes of the scary goals club. The journey will continue, but I just want to say thank you so much. Like, Like, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for being on this journey with me. I, I mean, it wouldn't be the podcast it is without you and it wouldn't really be a podcast without you.
It would just be me speaking into my computer, but like the fact that you're watching this and listening to this and reaching out and we're having conversations, it just, it means so much. It feels so, yeah, I feel so lucky to have this space where I feel I can be open and honest and me and not judged for it.
And maybe at some point I will be judged for it, but for now it just feels amazing to have that space to be able to just be me in all of my flaws, all of my ramblings and my tangents and I'm forgetting what I was going to say and all of that. So, [00:26:00] yeah, thank you so much for being here with me and bye.
Like, it really honestly means so much and thank you and I hope that wherever you are in your scary goal, you're celebrating and that you're imagining finishing it and completing it. Also just enjoying the journey so much because like the journey looking back and like what a ride it has been the last few months.
Like it has been amazing and you are in that now if you're working towards your scary goal still and I'm going to be in that soon with another scary goal and I'm in that with other scary goals as well. But just like. It's like all of life. There's no point of arrival. Like it doesn't get better there.
Like here, these moments right now, this is it. And these moments are magic. And then the moments when you reach your goal are magic. And then the day after is also magic. Like there's magic in every single moment. Like there's no future moment that becomes amazing. [00:27:00] Like these moments are magic. So thank you for being part of that magic.
And I hope you have an amazing rest of the day and an amazing week ahead and I'll see you in episode 31, beyond the other side of when you reach your scary goal. Thank you so much. Mwah.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Goals Club.
