[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Hello.
I will let you guys come in. Welcome. Okay. So it's about three minutes past. [00:01:00] Let's kick off. Okay. Welcome to the first ever scary goals club party. I am so excited that you're here with me. I've been wanting to do something like this for ever since I started the podcast and it feels so amazing to actually be able to do this and connect in real time and be able to just.
Oh, sorry, let me close this, be able to just connect and help you with anything that you are getting stuck on or just like help you go after bigger, scarier goals. So thank you so much in advance for coming here today, coming live and giving me your presence, your energy, your attention. It's yeah. I'm so excited.
Okay. So here's how this call is going to work. If you look at the bottom of the zoom. Screen you should see Q& A box or Q& A if you put that up, it's only going to be me that's going to see the Q& A, but that's where you want to, you know, if we're doing back and forth chat, or if you want to ask any questions, put them in the Q& A box.
You can also ask anything anonymously. [00:02:00] If you don't ask anonymously, I may say your name. I'm just also a heads up that. This recording might go end up on the podcast as well, so you can do anything anonymously, whatever feels good for you, but I just want to help you answer any of your questions. So if you pull that up now and just anything like literally anything.
Around scary goals, anywhere you're getting stuck anywhere. You're like, Oh, I would, but this put all of that in the Q and a, and I will coach you around it. I will help you around it. I will chat you through it. And so do that now. And I'm curious, do you already have a scary goal that you're working towards?
So if you do have a scary goal, put a one in the Q and a, and if you don't have a scary goal yet, put a two. Okay, so either way, if you have something you're working towards, amazing, we can coach on that. If you don't, I can help you. I'm just checking my mics on. Yes, it's good. And [00:03:00] luckily you can't hear in the background anymore.
My, my son's going down for a nap at the same time. And all I could hear was no nap, no nap. I was just putting him down. So it seems a bit quieter now. Hopefully you couldn't hear that in the background. Okay, so let me know if you have a scary goal or if there's something you want to work towards. Okay, so what I want you to be thinking about now is when you're imagining.
Okay, so let's assume you have a scary goal. There's something that you're like, yes, this is what I want to be working towards. How are you feeling when you're thinking about that? Like when you imagine your goal and you're thinking about it, what is the main feeling that's coming up? Either put it in the Q& A or just write it down, like have it somewhere and think about that.
And really just check in and if it helps, I say this often to my clients, it's like, you can close your eyes or soft close your eyes and just check in, like, where do you feel it in your body? What do you notice? Just [00:04:00] being really curious, like, what is it you're feeling when you're thinking about your scary goal?
And again, feel free to share if you want. You also don't have to as well. And just being curious, like whatever you wrote down, here is why that matters. It's because the way that we are feeling drives our behavior, okay? So anything that we are doing, how we're showing up, if we're going after a scary goal, if we're hesitating, if we're like holding ourselves back, if we're not speaking up and we really want to be, but we're not like any of that is driven by how we're feeling.
So the more curious that we can be about how we actually feel around our scary goal, that's going to give us so much information about Okay. What is that then driving me to do? And you can even just check in now. And again, write this down, put it in the Q and a, if you want, like when you are feeling that way, thinking about your scary goal, like what are you doing or not doing?
And again, you can take this away. And the, like [00:05:00] the more that you can write down and get a really clear list of. All of the things you're doing. If you imagine a camera is like following you around, like what are some of those behaviors you're doing or not doing? Are you going on social media instead of sending an email?
Are you putting something off even though you had it in your calendar? Like what are some of those behaviors? Are you questioning yourself? Is there self doubt? Or are you going after your goal? Like what? What is that? And the more that you can be clear on it, it can be really helpful because oftentimes when we are trying to shift some of these behaviors and actually go after our scary goal, because ultimately going after scary goal is driven by actually doing something like we can't just sit and imagine and our goal happens.
Yes, I can help like imagining it, and we'll talk about that later in the session, but it's actually the doing of it. And so when you can be really clear How you do or don't do, you'll be able to catch those behaviors in real time and be like, Oh wait, I'm on my phone instead of doing this thing that felt maybe a bit scary or a bit uncomfortable or was [00:06:00] maybe reaching out to someone and risking rejection or looking silly or feeling embarrassed.
Like you can start to kind of be aware of that. So again, and take this away after this call, like write down all of those things that you tend to do or not do when you are feeling that way. And no judgment, any of them. Okay, so like, just be curious, like curiosity is the first step to be able to actually shift that.
So just knowing oftentimes, like, and again, feel free to share if you want in the, in the Q and a, but oftentimes when. We are thinking if there's some like bigger goal we're going after, the reason it would be a scary goal is it feels as maybe some bit of fear in there because we're doing something we've never done before.
We're stepping into the unknown. We're kind of leaving behind everything that we've known up until this point that feels safe and familiar to our brain. Our brains love to be safe. They love doing the same thing every day. It feels very comforting. Brains don't like uncertainty. Brains don't like the unknown.
[00:07:00] Fear comes up because again, it's like, Oh, but what if this, what if this, it can go to the worst case. So knowing that usually when you're doing something you've never done before, there's going to be some element of fear in there. It's going to be some element of uncertainty and unknown. And actually that's okay.
and being present with it. But these behaviors are often when we are resisting that feeling. So when we're like ignoring it, we'll tend to act out from it. It's when we actually sit and allow the feeling to be there and breathe through it. Then we come back to a more kind of calm place and then we can take the action that we want to take.
And one thing that can be really helpful is thinking, okay, how can you make your scary goal? Really fun. So it wouldn't be as, as interesting a podcast name if it was called the fun goals club, it would probably be like, Oh, that doesn't sound very interesting. We're just going to do these fun goals. Really the more that you can shift into thinking of something, of your goal, as like fun, as [00:08:00] creative, as light, like think about how you are, how you are being when you're doing something you truly enjoy, when you are doing something that lights you up, when you are doing something that feels fun and light and energizing, it's so much easier to do things, even if you've never done them before.
And you're more likely to be in this low state where you can just be present, you're just fully focused, you're just, you know, going after your goals and creating them rather than oftentimes with the fear and the self doubt, we can get into the spin, get into the questioning ourselves, get into the goal, like replaying the worst case again and again and again, and we just stay stuck where we are.
And it uses so much energy, so much mental energy. So really thinking now, and again, if you have a notebook or you have something to write it down, like how could you make your goal feel more fun? How could you make your goal feel lighter, feel more energizing, and it might be [00:09:00] that you're shifting how you want to think about it.
It's like, this is fun. This is amazing. This is going to be awesome. Like, what would help you feel like it would be fun? And also imagining. So again, it's like thinking this is like scary goals party. It's like, the more that we can bring in this energy of like fun and excitement and like joy and interest and inspiration and feeling energized, the easier it is going to be to keep going after our goals.
And it doesn't necessarily have to mean changing the goal. So there's checking in, like, first of all, do you actually want to do your goal? And the way that you'll know that is you can kind of close your eyes and just be like, okay, is this actually what I want? And usually you'll know, you'll be like, yes, this is what I want.
Even if there's a little bit of like a little bit of fear. Just know the fear is normal. Know it's totally okay. You can kind of almost talk to your brain and be like, okay, brain, this is normal. And the way that I sometimes like to think about fear is I imagine oftentimes like when the fear is coming up, [00:10:00] it's usually an old belief that's driving that.
So how we're feeling is driven by what we're thinking, like a sentence in our brain, a thought. And there's obviously, there's often some old belief. So for example, if you are maybe feeling a bit scared with your scary goal and you're putting yourself out there. Or showing up online or whatever that is, there's maybe a fear of rejection and maybe something happened when you were a kid where you stood up in front of the class or you started talking and people laughed, whatever that is, some things can happen and it can create this like fear of that happening again.
And so just knowing that often if there's any fear, it's totally normal and it's usually from a young, like, young age. was implanted, as it were it was created in your brain when you were a lot younger. And so what I find really helpful when there's fear coming up is thinking like, Almost having a conversation with my brain that's scared and with that younger part of me with my younger self and just being like It's totally okay.
[00:11:00] This is normal. And also like I've got this like yes, I'm feeling scared and We're gonna do it anyway Yes, I'm feeling scared is totally normal because it's new and it's unknown, and I'm going to generate the courage to go after it anyway. And I know that this is ultimately what I want. And the more that you can just practice this of like seeing the fear, seeing the self doubt not as a reason to stop and not as a reason that anything's gone wrong.
It really doesn't mean anything has gone wrong. All it means is you are literally at the edge. of what has been familiar in your past. When you're doing anything new, when you are creating something that wasn't here in the world before, when you are making that bigger impact, when you are listening deep down to what it is you truly want to do and you're going after that and you're dropping the shoulds and you're being like, okay, this is what I, where I'm taking my life.
This is the impact I want to make. This is what I'm doing. When you start to do that, of course, it's going to be new. or else you'd already be doing it and it wouldn't feel scary, right? So the nature of saying these bigger goals and doing something different and [00:12:00] stepping out of the shoulds and how we should do things, there's going to be fear there.
And it's just being so kind to yourself and being like, okay. And like almost, I imagine almost like taking fears hand. And I think of fear as this like little, like little kid inside me that's like, uh, don't do it. Someone might say something and like, Oh, what if it doesn't work out? And it's like, it's all good.
And just knowing that like. If things don't work out how you planned, just knowing that you've got you. And that's why like having this conversation with yourself is so, so helpful. So it's knowing the fear of the self doubt is totally normal. And thinking, okay, how can you make this really fun? How can you add in maybe some like going out for walks, like really even thinking now, like what is it that energizes you and makes things fun for you?
So for me, like, things where I'm getting to be creative and I'm doing something that I truly enjoy and I'm going out for walks and I'm dancing, like I'll put on tunes and I'll like feel energized and it's like, okay, [00:13:00] here's some scary stuff coming up that I want to do for my goal and I'm going to make it more fun.
I'm going to get a really nice cup of tea, I'm going to put on some tunes, maybe I'll like light a candle and I'll be like, okay, and now we're going to do this stuff. So. There's inking like how can you just make it more fun and also just not being afraid like if you want to any point not being afraid of shifting the goal if it stops feeling fun if there's ever shoulds sneaking in there or like oh but I said I would do this therefore I have to like you really don't so just knowing like the way also to keep it fun is how can you actually just change the goal like if that's going to feel easier.
Do that. Like anything. So the way that I like to think about it, it's like you have this goal of where you're going or like a rough sense of where you're going. What is going to help you get there with like enjoying the moments the most, having the most energy, being the most present, being like your true self, just like loving the process.[00:14:00]
Yes. You're not going to love all the process, but like what is going to help you get there the easiest is your emotional state. If you're struggling and forcing and feeling fear and self doubt all the way to the goal, that's not much fun. It's like, what's the point? You'll get to the goal and be like, well, that was rubbish.
I felt terrible the whole way along. And now I'm here and like, I still feel terrible. And I know this because I did this last year. Like I've done this before for a scary goals where I have forced it and I've pushed it and been like, I should, because I said I would. And. I've just been exhausted. I got sick.
I got burned out. It was not much fun. And what I realized was like, Oh, a), I have permission to change the goal at any point. And b) like enjoying the journey literally is the most important part because nothing really changes when you get to the goal. Like, yeah, it's pretty cool. And you've created it. And actually this week's.
This week's podcast. Yeah. It's my 30th. So I've completed my goal of recording 30 podcasts of the scary goals club. So I have some reflections of that of [00:15:00] like, yeah, it's really cool. And also nothing's changed. I still have to think what to cook for dinner and still have self doubt before standing up and talking and sharing my ideas and questioning them.
Like that still doesn't all go away. It's just different. Like it's really cool to create the goal and it's amazing. And also it's kind of the same. So if you're like, oftentimes we. Hang, creating the goal as this moment in time that we're gonna just suddenly feel amazing. And it just doesn't work that way.
So the, the more that we can enjoy the process as we go and make it fun and make it exciting and make it energizing, the more we're actually going to enjoy it when we're there as well. Because we've, it's almost like feeling like flowy and enjoying it and feeling light and having energy and just loving on life and the whole process and just being present and just being like, this is so cool.
I get to do this. This is so awesome. I'm here in the world. What fun. And like making it really playful. The more that you're going to do that when you get there, [00:16:00] because that feeling playful, fun, joy, energy, whatever that is for you, whatever that word would come, like be for you, that is almost a practice.
It doesn't just come. It's a skill that you cultivate is generating that feeling on purpose by how you're thinking, by how you're approaching the goal. And so the more that you can practice being like, okay, it's like my, uh, my previous coach used to say this. It's such a good phrase. It's like, I bring the fun.
It's like your goal isn't necessarily fun. Your goal is just a goal. It's like neither good nor bad. It's not right nor wrong. It's not like fun or boring. You're the one that brings the fun. Like you are in control of being like, okay, this is so fun. Or like, I always make things fun. I always am present. I am always someone who just like fully throws myself into this and who loves the process and who takes everything I can out of the whole journey along the way.
So [00:17:00] just knowing that you are in control of that. And so yes, if you, if changing your goal helps you get more into that place, do that. It's one of those things like you can either change the way you're thinking about the goal and how you're approaching it and maybe changing your environment. Dancing, putting tunes on, like all of that can help or you can change the goal if it feels a bit lighter.
If it feels like if it's feeling heavy at the moment, lighten it up or even like if you want to drop it for a bit, drop it for a bit. Whatever is going to help you like get into a place where things just feel fun and easy and enjoyable because that is where like the magic happens. That is like. If there's one thing you take away, it's like that.
Just practice getting to a place where that becomes your default. With all of life, but especially around goals. And it just makes everything so much easier. Because also when we're in a like creative, like flowy, light, energy, [00:18:00] fun place, ideas come. We're like, oh, I'll contact that person. Oh, maybe I could try this.
We access just so many, like our creativity is so much bigger when we are actually in this relaxed state and when things feel fun, when it's playful versus when it's like heavy and forcing. When we are in that like heavier state, when there's self doubt and fear, again, it's normal, but when we're ignoring it and like resisting it and it keeps persisting along and that there's just this heaviness.
That's just gonna like shut down our creative thinking because our brain literally goes into survival mode. We're operating from our survival part of our brain, our prefrontal cortex, our human part of our brain is offline. It's like, see you later. I just need to focus on survival. Also we're like high in adrenaline and cortisol, like all these hormones and chemicals are like flooding around our body that uses so much energy.
And so our like bodies literally on high alert. And when we're in that place, it, things can feel really heavy. Things can feel [00:19:00] really tiring. That's when we can get sick. That's when we can just like feel exhausted, even though we've maybe not done any more. It's just the mental worrying and the questioning and the heaviness emotionally.
And so the more that you can practice shifting into just like getting rid of some of those heavier emotions, however that works for you, whether it's going out for a walk, whether it's doing some deep breathing, whether it's just putting on some tunes, having a dance or like, you know, imagining your goal and just thinking of the best case, like any of those things that can help you, that is what is going to make a huge impact for you in terms of just like continuing to show up when they're setbacks, even when it's like, huh, this is not going how I planned, which it will because it's life, right?
Like anything that you can do to just come back to being like, okay, how can I get into that? Like relaxed, creative, playful place. And just checking out, like, what is that for you? What is your process? Testing that out and figuring that out for you. [00:20:00] So any questions that you have put them in the Q and a, any questions on any of that?
Is there anything that you're getting stuck on around your scary goal? And. I have one question that had been sent in, so I'm going to quickly read this out. I actually do a whole podcast episode on it, but anyway, so put any of your questions in the Q and a box. I will get them answered or give you any coaching.
So this question was, you talk about the fear of failure. What about the fear of success? Which is such a good question. And I will do a whole podcast episode on it because oftentimes, yeah, we can think like, Oh, but what if I fail? Which can feel scary, and often we hesitate, we hold ourselves back, and then we end up not doing it anyway, so we're like failing anyway.
But fear of success, that comes from like, we are deeply worried as humans not to be separate from the tribe, quote unquote tribe. So we look at like others around us, [00:21:00] what other people are doing, and if there's anything that's going to be, that's going to put us differently to them, that can feel very scary to our brain because again, millennia ago, being separated from the tribe would have meant you have to find your own shelter and food and hunt animals and do all that like yourself, not within the safety of the tribe.
So we have been wired evolutionary wise to avoid that. And so it means that anything where we're doing something differently, where we're like You know, going after something that's maybe a bit different from anyone else, that's going to feel very scary to our brain. We're maybe not even fully aware of it.
It'll be something like deep in our subconscious that we're not fully aware of that's going to be driving our behavior anyway. And even something that can help with that is. Okay, what, first of all, what is your definition of success and checking in, like, what is that fear? If you reach the success, whatever that is for you, what are you actually afraid of?
And oftentimes, you know, success could be, it's like, I don't even think it [00:22:00] could be money or impact or followers or connections or whatever these like bigger things are that people attribute to quote unquote success we maybe have or have been programmed when we've been growing up and when we're younger and from society that like someone who is successful is bad or someone who has Like, lots of connections or money or whatever it is, is like in some way wrong or greedy or different.
And so if we don't understand that those are beliefs underneath, like driving that we're just like, Oh yeah, I totally want this thing. But actually your subconscious mind is like making sure it's like, and so oftentimes some of the signs of that is like when things are going well and you're doing really well, oftentimes you can come in and it's called like self sabotage.
So suddenly be like, Oh, I'm going to change, totally change direction or, Oh, I'm going to do this thing instead. When something's actually going well, it's almost like, ah, you know, your subconscious is like, this could, be successful, freaks out, goes and does something [00:23:00] else to almost like bring it back down.
And the way that it's often been described is like we have a certain thermostat of what we feel comfortable with. So it's like if it goes below it or above it in terms of quote unquote success. Or scary goals or what we're able to do or visibility, if we go above that, our brain freaks out. It's like, okay, danger and brings us back down.
So really understanding like what success means for you. And then also thinking like the more that you can build a visualization practice of success. imagining the success. So like the best case and imagining it so many times that it just becomes normal. And so you're, you're actually training your brain and your subconscious brain and your subconscious mind, to be like, Oh, this is just totally normal.
Like having this much impact or doing these things or doing, having this life or whatever the scary goal is. Oh, this is just what I do now. And again, so like just in the morning or in the evening, just even spending a few minutes, like [00:24:00] imagining that best case. And just getting really comfortable and you know that you're feeling comfortable with it when it's not feeling exciting or scary.
It's just feeling really normal. It's like, Oh yeah, this is just what I do. This is just who I am. And the more that you can do that, the less your brain is going to start to like sabotage you and be like, okay, cool. We'll do this other thing or like stop you from going after something, even though ultimately that's what you want deep down in your brains.
Like, no way we are not doing that. So that is what fear of success could be. And then fear of failure again, similarly just thinking about the best case can be so helpful with that. And just knowing that, like the way I think about fear of failure is like, if I don't go after it, I'm going to fail anyway. So what is like literally the worst that could happen?
Like I'm living my worst case. That's what I always come back to. It's like, but I go after that and then I look silly or I look, whatever it's like, but I'm not doing it anyway. So this is the worst case right now. So why not go for it. And then keep putting your [00:25:00] brain on the best case because that sneaky brain will always go to the worst case.
We are wired, like our brain on default will look, it scans for danger, it will always look for the worst case and feed you it and be like, look, what about this? What about this? It's just a habit. It's just a practice of imagining the best case and bringing your brain back to that. Okay. So any other questions or anything?
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time and for your energy. Honestly, I, this has been amazing. Thank you so much. And if you want to take this work deeper, there's two ways that you can work with me. So I have a Thrive program, which is online modules and it's got a monthly coaching component, or you can work with me one on one as well, but just get in touch if you want to take this work even deeper, if I can support you in any way.
And if you have any questions, any feedback, anything, let me know and have an amazing rest of the day. Go forth with your scary goals and I will see you next month and I can't wait. Thank you so much. Okay. Bye!
Hey, [00:26:00] thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Ghouls Club.
