[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Hi and welcome to October's scary goals club party. how it is October already I was so [00:01:00] resistant to autumn coming and feel like I'm like, no, I don't feel like it probably the summer. I don't know if it's just more rain or maybe not getting out in the evenings as much as I would have liked. And then I did this amazing meditation that one of my friends did and went to her meditation and it was all about like racing autumn and just.
And honestly, I just feel so like I'm so ready for it. And even like in the mornings I've been getting out for a walk and just the trees and maybe it helps that it's like been quite dry and it's just. Yeah, I'm just like, okay, here it is. This change in seasons. Like I'm all in. I've looked at my cozy socks.
I've looked at my cozy hats. I've like swapped my jacket and I've got my waterproofs and all that stuff, like cozy stuff, like down at the front door ready to go. And it's like, okay, now, cause I think the transition sometimes I'm like, wait, I need to bring a jacket or like, wait, what do I actually wear?
Like what layers do I need? Even when I met with Flynn, I'm like, okay, what do I dress him in? It's like, Oh, he needs his all in one suit in his [00:02:00] wellies. And Yeah, so I think just now that I've made that transition, it's like, okay, here is autumn. And this call is particularly important because it's like, this is the start, like we are at the start of The third quarter, the last quarter of the year over the year, like we're in the flow of autumn.
And so even just taking a moment like to pause now and just checking in and thinking, okay, where, like, what have you created so far this year? And this is what I'm going to dive into today for the call is celebrating all the wins, celebrating all the progress, because often it's so easy to be like onto the next thing and like onto the next month.
And especially if we're in routine, then it's like, go, go, go. Rather than actually pausing and thinking back, like, okay, nine months of the year have passed nine months of 2024. What have I created in that amount of time? Who am I now? I wasn't before, like, who am I? [00:03:00] Now, in this month, what have I, what am I capable of now that maybe I wasn't nine months ago or I didn't think I was nine months ago?
What progress have I made on my goal? Like however, Big or small, you think that is like, what is that progress? And then checking in. So even just thinking now, like spending a few moments and again, you can put it in the, in the Q and a, like, feel free to pull that up and put it in the Q and a, if you want to share it again, it's completely anonymous or like even just writing down, like, what is the progress you have made this year towards your scary goal?
Like just write down a few things now. It's so powerful. Cause like, oftentimes, even if we, even if we are in the. The process of celebrating wins, like if we can build that habit, we often don't look back over a bigger timeframe. And then when we realize not just like, okay, what have I done this week or created?
It's like, what have I done these nine months of 2024 can be so powerful in realizing that we are so much further ahead than we maybe give ourselves credit for. And that we have created so many more [00:04:00] things because often we live in the future of like, okay, what's next now, what like onto the next thing, rather than being like, Whoa, look at all this I've created.
So yeah, just spending a few moments now, what are some of those things like you've created in 2024 so far with your scurry goal or with whatever like comes up and even just a few moments now, even just as you're doing it, just like pausing and closing your eyes, or maybe when you have a bit of a list.
And again, you can take this away and do it after the call, or if you're listening to this on a replay, like pause it. And I really encourage you to do it. Even if you're out on a walk, like just on your phone notes and just pausing and looking back and being like, okay, that is amazing. Like you've done things that you would never have done before.
You have had experiences and made things happen and made decisions and move things forward that you like nine months ago you hadn't ever done. And the more that we can [00:05:00] celebrate, like how far we have come. And the more that we can celebrate like the progress that we've already made, easier it is to keep going to keep showing up, even when.
There's so many setbacks or things aren't working as fast as we would like, or it feels a bit overwhelming or things are happening towards our goal, or it feels like nothing's happening towards our goal. So the more that we can train our brain to actually be focusing on, okay, what is the progress that I have made?
And so this is an amazing time to start that. And then also thinking like, okay, to the end of the year, so like with the last three months, the last quarter, like autumn into, into December, autumn into winter. What do you want to create by the end of the year? Like, what is your intention for this next quarter coming?
Even write that down. It can be like a word, it can be an idea, a visual, whatever just like comes to mind. There's no right or wrong. [00:06:00] It's like reflecting on like how far you've come and how do you want to be intentional and put that intention and focus and energy into the last quarter of the year. I'm really thinking about that now.
And again, just imagining, like, what would be so cool, like, by the end of the year.
I just realized, I'm so sorry, I just realized my battery and my mic had cut out, and I don't know if it had happened just then. None of you have commented or put a question in the Q& A or mentioned it, so hopefully it wasn't for too long. I'm just going to assume that if you're listening back to this on the recording and there seems to be a gap and I stopped talking, then maybe I will fill that bit in.
But anyway, I'm back. I have the mic on again and it looks like the batteries are all good. Okay. They're rechargeable ones and sometimes they look like they're fine. And then if they've not fully been recharged, they can cut it more quickly. So I'm just like keeping a wee eye on it. Oh, [00:07:00] oh, cool. Literally just then I was checking my mic.
I thought it was me. Okay, good. Yeah, thank you. It's like, Oh no, it's like literally my fear. It's happened a couple of times when I'm recording podcasts and I'm just like, Oh no. Like I don't, sometimes I realize in the moment and then I can work out like what I've done and record it back. And then other times.
Like, I don't, if it's, if I'm on a call with a client and it happens, then I can do it. might be time for some new rechargeable batteries, but okay, we're good. It's just happened then. So here is why celebrating wins is so, so powerful. Because oftentimes like how our brain is wired, it's looking like we're wired to kind of scan for danger, look for the unknowns, look for gaps, look for like things that could go wrong.
Like that is like we have survived. We're here. We're humans. Like this is why we've made it this far because our brain is very, very smart and it's kept us alive. But it also means that when it's like scanning for danger is looking for The things we haven't done, [00:08:00] looking for like the gaps, looking for, okay, we wanted to get here and we're not, this is all unknown.
Bad things could happen. We might fail and look stupid in front of people. We might not get something right. Like all of that is where our brain wants to focus, which is why if you like even say you like jot down, okay, I'm going to get these things done for the day. And there's literally one thing that you don't get done.
Often our brains can certainly this was for me and for like lots of my clients it's like that one thing it can just spin us out and then for the rest of the day or maybe the next few days it's like I didn't get this thing done and it becomes this big thing it's where our brain automatically will want to go it'll want to focus on that and there's a really interesting book um that's quite useful that takes this concept and explains it in Like a much bigger scale in like, it's lots of different examples of different parts of our life, which is called the gap and the gain.
Um, the Dr. Benjamin Hardy, I think is really, it's really easy read, really interesting. And it gives lots of different examples of [00:09:00] like, why our brain will focus on like the gap basically of like where we are, we're not there yet. And when we're living in this place, when our brain is just looking at like what we haven't done yet and how we're not there yet and how we're behind and how we'll never get there and how, Like all of that, it feels really freaking heavy.
Like it's just, it's almost like however far we go, whatever we do, it's almost like it's not enough because everyone's like, yeah, but you didn't do this. Yeah. But you thought you'd be here by now. And we're just, it can put us in this place where even on our day to day, when if we can flip it and we'll talk, we'll talk about that in a sec, we could be really enjoying the moment, but instead we're stuck in this.
Like, Oh, but it's still not enough yet because I haven't done this thing because I haven't created that thing that I said I would or thought I would or thought I would be here. And when we're in that place, we're missing the joy and the fun and all of the like amazingness in the moment. And also all [00:10:00] the amazingness that we've already created and that we like how far we've actually come because all we're focusing on is.
Yeah, but I'm not here yet. And oftentimes we can do that because we, again, as humans, we're not great at thinking how or predicting how we're going to feel at some point in time in the future. We think when we get to a certain moment, when we achieve our goal, when something happens, we'll suddenly feel confident, like smart, that we know what we're doing, like happy, whatever that is.
We imagine that at this moment in time, when something happens, like, suddenly will feel different. And so often it's like, yeah, but when I get there, then I'll feel confident. Then I'll think I'm making progress. Then I'll like, think I'm good enough. And it actually works the other way around. It's like, we start believing that now.
And that's how we actually make it happen, like way easier rather than, because if you think about it, it's like, I don't know, imagine going through, I can think of like so many points in my life with this, like one of them, you know, it's like, [00:11:00] okay, when I get accepted into uni, like when you're on the kind of school, whatever path you took, okay, when I like get into uni, then I'll feel like I know what I'm doing.
Or like when I start uni and then you start uni, you're like, Oh my god, I know nothing and like all these people know more than me and suddenly you see your gap and it's like oh and it's like okay when I graduate then I'll like know what I'm gonna do and then I'll feel really good at what I do but you graduate and then you're like oh wait now there's all of this I don't know and how do I get a job what do I do and Like all of that stuff.
So we think at some moment in time, magically, like when something happens, we're going to feel different differently and it just doesn't work. It's as we go through. And as we're working towards the goal, that's how we generate that feeling. And we build that self concept of someone who's done it. And then when we've done it, then we like sit with that rather than just being onto the next thing.
And so when we're just focusing on this gap, again, it feels really heavy in the moment. And it's also really. Like, that can lead to us quitting [00:12:00] or like not showing up how in a way that we want to or not being as motivated. Cause if you think about it, like, and feel free if you want to put in the Q and a like or not, it's just me that can see it when you're thinking like about what you still have to do or how you're not there yet or how you're behind like checking in, what is the feeling that comes up?
So if you imagine like you're thinking your goal and you're thinking how much you still have to do, like for me, I'm just checking and it's like. Bit of like, anxious, bit of anxiety, bit of pressure, of like, sometimes panic. Like, oh, I've got so, like, I'm not there yet. I've got so far to go. And then you can think about that of like, when you're in that place.
Imagining what kind of things are you doing? Like, how are you showing up? Certainly for me, when I'm feeling super anxious and just panicked and like, a lot of pressure, I completely shut down. I don't do [00:13:00] things. Oh yeah, like a weight on my chest, harder to breathe. Right, exactly. Imagine like, that's your, Like taking that into your day to day and it's like trying to come up with like creative solutions for your business or try new things or like put yourself in a place where you might fail.
It's going to be so much harder when you're feeling there's this like weight on your chest and it's harder to breathe. Like it's just, it's like we're almost living in this like, Oh, things are going to be terrible and I haven't done all this rather than actually being present with like how far, like how things are right now.
And so the, like, the key thing is like the energy that we are taking. So like how we were thinking and feeling is driving how we are showing up, like the actions that we are taking. So you could take the same actions towards your scary goal or your business or whatever. But if you're feeling panicked and there's this weight on your chest and it feels harder to breathe or like anxiety or whatever, thinking like, Oh, I'm not there yet, I'm so far [00:14:00] behind.
You could be writing an email, you could be writing a proposal, you could be putting a social media post out, but it's going to come from a very different place. It's going to come from this feeling of like pressure, like I have to, if you've ever done like, okay, I'll just get this thing out. I'll just like quickly put up a post or quickly write an email and quickly do that.
Like you can kind of tell and. The thought behind it is like, not the same as if you could do the same actions, like write an email or put a post out or whatever it is. And again, for me, it would be like the podcast, for example, it's like, if I'm going in, like, Oh, just quickly, just get one, get this podcast out.
Like, it's not going to be the same as if I'm really coming, coming to it. Like, Oh, this is amazing. Like, You know, having that intention behind it of being really purposeful, like I have to share this. I'm like really thinking about how far I've come and like, this is amazing. Like I can't wait to share this.
And so when we can get in a place where we are celebrating all of the progress we have made, [00:15:00] it makes it so much easier in the moment to have motivation, to have energy. That's going to help drive like how we are actually showing up, how we are actually being on our way to the goal, like it'll stop us from being in this like, Oh, this heaviness, this like weight on our chest to being like, okay, I know why I'm doing so like, for example, and even take a few moments now and just think, okay, What are like, you've got those wins from the last nine months, but even what are some of the wins over the last like week and just make a list, like as many that come to mind wins can be like, again, when I did this to my clients, it's like they can be something you've done.
That's that counts as a win. That's maybe traditionally what we'd think of as a win. You can also do it if it's like, A time that you watched your brain and you didn't want to do something, but you did it anyway, or you slowed down or you said no, or you were really present [00:16:00] or you like, didn't react in a way you normally would.
And you changed something or you did something that was scary. Like it can be anything broader than actually just like creating an outcome. Like a win is something like any tiny little bit of progress. Is a win. So even just taking a few moments now and just over the last like week or few weeks writing down like, what are all the, like any tiny, teeny, tiny bit of when you can think about for your scary goal.
And I want to offer that there is no such thing as a win. That's too small. And I will explain why in a moment. And again, if you're listening back, like all this now and just write it on your phone notes, like what are some of the wins towards your scary goal? Like just over the last few weeks or week.
Anything. And if you get a list, you can keep asking, like, what [00:17:00] else, what else,
okay, but that list. So here is why there is no such thing as a win that's too small. If we are thinking that wins are too small, we are just discounting them. And again, we're going back into thinking that they're like in some, some way they're not enough. I just want to offer that's not true because when we can celebrate like any, any progress, we are redirecting our brain into seeing anything as a win, like any amount of progress we are celebrating.
And when we celebrate a win, we get this almost like a dopamine boost. It feels really good. So when we are writing down a win and celebrating it, it feels good. It releases dopamine, which helps us be motivated towards. Taking action towards our goals. So the act of writing down wins and really sitting with them and celebrating them, that is going to help us keep showing up and [00:18:00] keep moving towards our goals.
And so the more that you can do that, and therefore it's like any tiny win that you can celebrate is going to give you a dopamine boost. That's going to help you feel motivated. It's going to help you feel like inspired and you want to keep showing up. So you want to be celebrating all the wins. Like there's no such thing as a win.
That's like too small. And also we have the same brain as we go about any different part of our day and part of our life. So when we can again, redirect it to find a win in anything, it means that even if there's setbacks, like something's not going how we planned, we didn't get the outcome we wanted, whatever.
Life is life thing because it does when we can train our brain to find any small win within that. It's so much easier to then again, get in that more helpful place that we can actually move through it and problem solve and like figure out what's on the other side of it. And also often the small wins, the ones that we call like small or too small.
Are the ones that are almost the biggest because oftentimes, again, just with how we are in society, it's like, you know, all big [00:19:00] achievements and big wins is what we're used to seeing people celebrating. And it's like, actually they are made up of loads of small little ones. And if you are not small, but celebrating small stuff, like it's so hard to celebrate the big stuff.
Oftentimes it's just like onto the next thing. And so the more that you can start celebrate the small, the more you'll celebrate the big. Also often it's the small ones that. So it's like the small stuff does add up to the big, but the small stuff is often the times that like no one else will see. And again, I was like chatting to a client about this.
He was like, Oh, it's just this small win. It's like, but it is a win because no one else saw that. It's not a public thing that like you can talk about and other people get to celebrate or whatever with you. If it's so small, like it's only you that knows every time that you like, Do what you say you're going to do or like trust yourself or do something that's working towards your goal or whatever these wins are that you've written down.
It's almost like those are the ones that matter the most because no one else is aware of them and like, but you are. And so [00:20:00] the more that you can, it's like you're just building that trust with yourself. You're building that. Yeah. It's that trust with yourself that. This is who you want to be and how you're showing up because no one's there to like cheer you on and give you a gold star.
Like it's only you. And I think those are the ones that actually matter the most, but often we discount them because they're not big and flashy and like, but I achieved this big thing. And it's like, Oh, all of those micro moments when you didn't want to be did anyway, or you said no one took care of yourself or you whatever that is.
All of those, those are the key. And so, like, not thinking of any wins is too small, but just thinking of them all as like amazing wins. Because also, again, we have the same brain. So if there's a thought pattern somewhere that something is like too small, not enough, you're probably discounting other things in your life that you're maybe doing or ways that you're showing up.
But it's like, oh, well, it's not enough. And again, the not enough is like, because I should be [00:21:00] here and I'm only here. So it's that you're focusing on that gap. So again, it's just watching where there's areas that you're maybe dismissing or, and then I'm not saying you are, but this is something that often comes up with clients is like dismissing or diminishing, like something that you have done.
It's like, you're probably dismissing or just diminishing something in other parts of your life as well. Like it's in like, we'll show up in different places. So. Everyone counts. There is no one that is too small at all. In fact, we want to count all the small micro wins as well because we get dopamine boost from them and they're going to help us feel motivated and show up.
So thinking of that list now, I've gone through my teaching. Okay, go through that list of wins that you wrote down and just look at it and just take a few moments. And if you've got the ones from the nine months as well, and even just like close your eyes and just really sink into that, all of that progress that you have made, all of the ways that what you're doing is working, all of the ways that you keep showing up, all of the ways that you are changing and creating a different outcome and [00:22:00] creating a different future.
Like really sink into that.
And if you want to put in the Q and a like, how are you feeling? What does that feel like when you do that?
And then even thinking like. Again, and again, if you're watching this back or listening back, like pausing it and like, really, once you've got your list, like really sinking into that, seeing your eyes helps as well. And then from that place, be like, okay, what is the next step? Or what is like one next step?
And so for me, when I do that, when I write down my wins and I really sink into them, I'm like, feel them all. [00:23:00] It feels really expansive in my body. It feels really motivating. I'm like, Whoa, okay, I've done so much like way more than I think because often again by default, my brain will go to like, yeah, but you've not done this, not done this.
And so we discount. Yeah, I think I've done more this week than I thought, right? Like because our brain, like if you think about how much time your brain is spending celebrating all the progress you're making, it's probably like this much and how much time it's thinking about. what you've yet to do and what you've not done.
Like, that's where your focus is. It's like, you put on glasses, so your lens is always like, going to be by default, just like, Oh, but I've not done this. And so it's like, it's not even thinking about what you've done. And so the more that we can be like, Oh, actually, huh. Okay, here we go. Like, I've done way more than I thought.
Like, I'm making more progress, like I'm on track, you whatever else like comes up and then just really thinking like, okay, what is the next step and seeing what comes out again when you're in that place? What is that next step that [00:24:00] you're motivated to do? Because again, celebrating wins, writing everything down when we realize we've done more than we think progress is so satisfying to our brains.
We get dopamine hits from tracking progress. And so it's almost this like positive feedback loop of when we track progress, it makes us want to do and we celebrate it. It makes us want to do more of the things that are making progress. So again, when we're working towards a bigger goal or there's something we're working towards, the more that we can celebrate all of the progress that we've made so far, any of it, the easier it's going to be to then keep moving forward.
And again, it's not these big, massive, I mean, massive action is useful, but like. It can be the small micro moments. And the more that we can keep doing that, like it adds up, as you've seen, just by writing down just from this week, it's like, Oh, it's actually way more than you thought. And so the more that we can practice this and do this, the easier it's going to be to keep moving forward.
Even when our brain wants to be like, yeah, but you've not done this yet. Or like, this isn't happening quick enough, or I'm behind, [00:25:00] you know, does any of that coming up. And so even just thinking with this practice, like when. When in your day, could you build in celebrating some wins or your week? Like how could that work for you?
You can put it in the Q and a, or, you know, just think about that, whatever feels, feels right for you. Like, how could you build this in as a practice? And it could be wins in anything. And so for me, it kind of depends sometimes I, so I'll give you some like different ways that I do it and some clients do it.
Sometimes it can be in the day, like before I start, like I can, I'll sit down and be like, okay, what is the progress from like yesterday or like a few kind of bits? And that gets me into being like, okay, cool. And into like a really good frame of mind for the day. Sometimes if I haven't done that, or maybe I haven't, like I've got out of the habit of it, sometimes I'll even just do it in my mind.
Or even just jot it down on my phone [00:26:00] notes, even like three wins a week. And then once I get into that, like even on my phone notes, if something happens and my brain's like, Oh, that's a win, that's like progress towards my goal. That's progress towards what I'm working on. I'll like add it to the phone notes and then I'll see like, Oh, I've already got three extra wins this week.
And so having somewhere that I can like add it to. Like if it's not every single day I do it, but it's just like the more I practice it, the more I'm like, Oh, that's a win. I'll put it here. Oh, that's a win. I'll add it. And then you can see them kind of adding up as well. Um, but I evaluate what I've done during the week at the end of the week.
I could add all the small wins like getting the washing done. Yes, totally. These are things that like are taking your time or taking your energy and are also like votes on how you are want to be as a person. It's like I getting the washing done like you have clean, lovely clothes to wear. And like, that's going to set you up for making other things feel easier, because there is a scenario where you don't get much done.
And [00:27:00] then like, you know, so all of these things are like wins and progress and anything that's helping you be the person you want to be, move toward your goals. Like what's easier to move towards goals than having like. Nice clean clothes to wear or whatever that is or like eating healthily or resting or like any of these things are wins and again remembering you get dopamine hits from anything you celebrate.
So the more you can celebrate, like. The more dopamine you're gonna get, the more motivated you're gonna feel, just this like natural motivation to want to create more and show up more. So then you have this lovely feedback loop rather than like the other dopamine is like you scroll on your phone and you get a dopamine hit so you want to do it more.
But that actually, like, can lead to comparing and, like, feeling like meh after it. Like, sometimes you come off social media, it's like bleh, so it feels like you've eaten junk food. So there's different ways that we can get neurotransmitter for actually, like, helping [00:28:00] us be motivated and do things. And so if we can get it from celebrating wins, it's going to, like, carry with us and actually going to move us in the direction that we want to go.
So that's it. Any other questions on any of that? Or is there anything that, like, anything you want support with in any of your goals? Like, feel free to put it in the Q& A and I will answer that now and give you any tips or anything I can, like, help you with. Like, feel free to put it in the Q& A there.
If not, then that's all good too, but I will make sure I know we're just almost at half past now, but I will stay on and answer if there is any questions or anything that you want to support with or you're struggling with
and hope you have, Oh, I just want to say thank you. Oh, you're so welcome. Well, happy celebrating, however it works for you and [00:29:00] just. Yeah. Celebrate all of that amazing progress that you're making and just watch when your brain tries to go to like, but I'm not here yet. And like the gap, like just watch and just bring it back.
And it's just training the brain, training your brain to focus on progress and how like how much progress you're making. And it's just going to make it feel like everything life just feels so much easier because you're just going to be like, ah, yes, here we go. So yeah, thank you so much. Thanks guys for joining and for all of your time and your energy and.
Yeah, posting to the Q& A as well, I really appreciate it. And have an amazing month ahead, lots of celebrating progress and enjoy autumn and soak it all up. And I'll see you in November. All right. Bye. Bye.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper [00:30:00] and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Goals Club.
