[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Okay. Hi and welcome to the Scary Goals Club podcast. It's so fun to be back on recording and I feel like I slightly got out of the habit of it. I didn't record one last week, [00:01:00] but it is so nice to be back on the mic and recording this to you. And today. Today I can't talk today. Today I wanna talk about.
Something that is very dear to my heart and I have done a lot of work on, and if you're a neurodivergent, have ADHD, whatever, or maybe it's something you struggle with as well, is your relationship with time. Now, I want to talk about what your relationship with time, or our relationship with time is is.
why it actually matters, and then how to shift it, and why you might want to do that. And then I'm also going to tell you a little bit about something super fun that's coming up in a few weeks that I'm really excited to share. So I will tell you that at the end. But first of all, relationship with time.
So our relationship that we have with time, a relationship is [00:02:00] essentially, if you think about it, like any relationship that we have to another thing. It could be a house it could be a business, it could be a person, it could be to time, it could be to ourselves. All a relationship is, is our thoughts about that thing, okay?
So let me just say this again. Our story, our interpretation, our thoughts, our beliefs about that thing or that person that describes and kind of encapsulates our relationship to that thing. We think, oh, I feel a certain way because of this thing, but that's not actually true. It's because of how we are thinking that's then generating that feeling, because what we're thinking drives how we feel.
So it's how we are thinking the story we're telling ourselves about that thing or that person that makes us feel a certain way. And then we behave a certain way, we show up a certain way, we do certain things or don't do certain things. We pull towards or pull away or we act in different ways and then we create some [00:03:00] outcome.
And often times we think, oh it's because of the thing, the external thing. So like with time for example, it's like oh, time's just going so quickly, there's not enough time, there's never enough, like, I'm behind, like, all of these things are actually just stories. They are just beliefs that we have.
Now, our relationship with time, before I did this work, I was not conscious of that. I didn't even realise I had, what I would call an unhealthy relationship with time. It was like, you know, so even just thinking with you, like, When I say time, like, what comes up? Are you like, there's not enough, there's never enough, oh I'm so behind, I'm so this?
Then you might just want to check your relationship with time because maybe it's not as healthy as you would like it to be. Like, imagine, let's think about now, like, imagine time was a partner. Okay, like a romantic partner or a friend. Imagine it was like, oh time. Well, you just keep telling them they're not enough, like time, it's like there's never enough.
However much time there is, it's never enough, it's never good enough, [00:04:00] and you're always behind and always trying to catch up and it's this like, frantic struggle relationship that never feels like it's at ease and at peace. And just knowing that because of how we are thinking, like our relationship with time, how we are thinking about time, that drives how we are feeling.
which essentially encapsulates our whole experience of time. Okay, so if you are feeling rushed and frantic and stressed and overwhelmed, you're experiencing time in that way, like your experience of time is rushed and is frantic. And like how you experience time is actually how you experience It's your life, because every single moment, that is our time, that is our life.
So like, however you're experiencing this moment right here, and the next moment, and the next moment, like, that adds up to how you are experiencing your life. So your relationship with time is actually your relationship to the present, to yourself, like to this [00:05:00] moment, and if it's not a healthy relationship, or you maybe want a healthier relationship with it, it's like, having a look at that and being honest about it, and then you can actually change it.
And even if you think, like, we often think, oh, time is just this thing, and this thing that exists, and it just is what it is. And like, yes, there's 24 hours of what humans have called hours in a day, but, like, imagine if, have you ever had it where you're, like, waiting for, I don't know, like, as a student, you're waiting for your exam results, or you're waiting for tests back from the doctor, or you're waiting for something, or you're waiting for an email back, or someone to make a decision that, like, is out of your hands it feels like time just goes so slowly it's like you're so alert you're like waiting for the thing waiting for the thing whereas when you're fully immersed in something when you are playing or like just really present or maybe like reading an amazing book or like going on an adventure or just doing something You're [00:06:00] completely immersed in it, like you're not really thinking about it and time just feels like it flows and can just pass and you're like, oh my gosh, it's been, or if you get really into something, you know, if you get the hyper focus and you're like on it and you're like, wow, two hours has literally passed, like where has that time gone?
And you've just not been aware of it. So that's not because time has changed. Time has been evolving and flowing as it has. It's because how we are thinking and feeling and being. And our behavior, that changes how we experience chat, experience time and changes our relationship with it. And I think this is especially important because, especially like as someone with ADHD and if you have ADHD as well or a neurodivergent, like we can get, people who are neurodivergent can get what's called dysregulated more easily, meaning, so like our nervous system is like our brain body connection.
When we are dysregulated or unregulated, basically we are in more of a kind of like fight or flight place. Fight, flight, [00:07:00] freeze or fawn. So we can get into feeling like a little bit on high alert, we're maybe a little bit stressed, a little bit anxious, like our breathing and heart rate goes up and we're like a little bit more like that.
That can happen more easily with neurodivergent people. And the reason this is important is like when we are dysregulated, when we are not in what we would call like the rest and digest state of our nervous system, but we're more in kind of the like fight or flight, freeze or fawn, we go into survival mode.
Like our, our body, our amygdala, the part of our brain that's like focused on survival, it's like this little alarm, fire alarm that's in our brain that's like danger, danger, danger. we get into a place where we're maybe feeling anxious, feeling like alert, and like some of it can be good, and it's useful for survival for sure, but we can more easily tip into it, and when we're in that place, our body is in survival mode, which is useful if you're needing to survive and step away from like a bus or some danger, then it's amazing, but when it's in a place [00:08:00] that we're worrying about something in the future that's maybe not happened, that may never happen, or an email gets in and we can quickly become dysregulated and feel our heart rate go up and feel like a spike of anxiety. Because we're in survival, the survival part of our brain is calling the shots, our prefrontal cortex, the like logical thinking planning part of our brain, is more offline. And so we are surviving, we are very emotional, we can be very reactive, very just like, Okay, do this thing right now, do this thing right now, without actually taking maybe a longer term strategic view, without doing, like, focusing on actually, actually where we want to go, the vision, we can just react and that's when we can get into firefighting and have to do this thing right now in a panic.
And like, that's when, you know, compounding that at the end of the day, the end of the week, it's like you feel like you've been just like going, going, going, doing all these things that actually haven't been moving forward. The bigger vision of your business, the bigger vision of where you're taking like yourself and changing this world and all those bigger things you're doing, because you've [00:09:00] been in survival mode and just reacting to whatever has come in.
It's like, reactive rather than proactive. It's like reacting to whatever's come up, whatever's come in, because your brain's like, ah, danger, I need to like fix this thing right now. So we jump into it and like, go, go, go. And so when we're in that place, that can also be like, we can also get ourselves into that place by what we are thinking, like the sentences in our brain.
So for example, maybe something might happen or maybe we might even just like look at our, look at project deadline or look at our calendars or look at our to do list, okay? It's maybe not even like, oh danger, and then suddenly it'd be like, there's not enough time. We're not even maybe conscious that we are saying this.
This is like a default thought in our brain. There is not enough time. And like, I don't know about you, but when I think that I go into like a bit of a panic. I'm just like, I'm like, quick, do this thing, do the same. Like I just, I get into like, I almost [00:10:00] do nothing. I'm like jumping around from different places and like, just knowing that that is that, like, there is not enough time.
that is Part of our relationship with time, the stories we tell about time, how we see time, how we speak about time, how we think about time, how we show up with time, that is our relationship with it. And so our relationship with time is then coming in, like just something as simple as looking at a to do list, suddenly if we don't have this healthy relationship with time, we're like, there's not enough time, we get into a panic, we get into a dysregulated state.
Prefrontal cortex goes offline and then we're just in this like firefighting whack a mole survival mode and like not only are we not actually getting useful stuff done usually, we can often be like doing stuff that we look back like I just spent three hours firing off emails and like if I'd read this one thing and just calm my brain down I wouldn't have needed to do it or re involve other people and like get them really stressed as well and it's like it can [00:11:00] become contagious like especially for leaders.
If we're feeling anxious and stressed and in this like quack a mole mode, other people pick up on it too and it like becomes contagious and like literally if all we do is just slow down our brain and shift this relationship we have with time, which that does take a bit of work, like rewiring our brain, and heal it to a relationship that we want with time, a healthy relationship of how we want to be thinking and feeling about time, that's going to change how we are showing up, that's going to change how we are going to react in any moment, and we're going to stop ourselves, like, becoming so dysregulated, having these spikes of, like, panic, we're going to be able to bring ourselves down to feeling more calm, more at ease, more just like ourselves, where it's just like, okay, I will figure this out, I will handle it, there's plenty of time, whatever that is.
Like, when we shift the story in the narrative, because we're shifting our relationship with time, we change how we feel. It means things can happen that normally we'd be like, [00:12:00] BAH, in a panic and we don't react like that. We react in a different way. We just show up more of our, ourselves. And it also means we're just feeling like we're in more of a like rest and digest place throughout the day.
So our days feel like flowy, we can be more like ourselves, we're more relaxed. It's not like we're horizontal, not doing anything. We are doing things. But the most amazing thing is like. When we are in a rest and digest place, when we have a regulated nervous system, is what it would be called, We can tap into our creative thinking, we can tap into our problem solving, we can tap into our prefrontal cortex and our strategic, long term thinking, where we are thinking ahead and we're not just focusing on like, ah, this thing right in front of us, which actually often is a distraction.
The firefighting, the like, putting out fires right here, right now, takes our time, our energy, it involves other people, and we are not able to then keep focus on that bigger picture. And so we just get into the spin cycle, and because we're not then focusing on the [00:13:00] strategic picture, more fires come up because we've not done the thinking ahead to prevent them or to look ahead and to like, actually solve for them.
So, like one of, especially someone that's neurodivergent, like one of the most important things that you can do is not only understand your relationship with time, I'll tell you how to do that, but actually shift it and heal it and decide, okay, what is that relationship I want to have with time? So like for me, when I, before I did this work, very much, it was like, there's not enough time, blah, blah, blah, like all of that.
Now, I, it's still, it will sneak in sometimes because it is old programming, especially I think. The other piece with ADHD is like, we have time blindness. So like our perception of time is different and it's because of a lack of dopamine in the system. We actually, I've got a previous episode that I did on it, Dr.
Andrew Huberman does some work on this, but it's like, because people with ADHD have less dopamine uptake in the system, our [00:14:00] blink rates are different and that changes almost the like amount of, it's like a slow motion camera or like a normal camera, it like changes. if things feel slowed down or sped up.
And that can do with, anyway, I'm not going to get into it here, but we also have time blindness. So like, our whole lives, we've experienced time differently. People have been like, you're late, you're disorganized, you're not good with time. Oftentimes we've had this. So we build almost this narrative from other people telling us things, from ourselves, internalizing that and telling ourself it, but there's not enough time.
I never have enough time. I'm terrible with time. I'm bad with time management. I'm crap with time. And this, Like, we tell ourselves this again and again, of course then we get in a spin and then we prove it to ourselves again and again and again. So it just goes round in this loop. The more we tell ourselves something, the more we prove it to ourselves.
It's like the lens that we are looking through, we see more of it. When we're feeling frantic and rushing and how there's like not enough time and panicked and then we miss something and then there's even less time to do it or we don't do the thing, like we are creating that reality for ourselves of there being not enough time or even less time or [00:15:00] us being behind.
Like we, what we believe we create more of. So. it's especially true if you have ADHD or you're divergent and like time and like just feels different and it has felt like a struggle. You probably have a slightly unhealthy relationship with time. I did. And like having done this work now, like I truly believe and I can get into that place where I'm like there is plenty of time.
Like that is my default now. I'm like there is plenty of time. There is no rush. I like if I feel So, something is needing to be rushed or pushed, I'm like, this is a, this is, for me, that's a sign to like, actually step back. Because I'm like, I know that I get caught up in that, and I miss something over here.
I know that I get so down in the weeds of this one thing, and it's a distraction, and I've missed something bigger. So like, that's the work that I have done, is like, shifting that relationship. So, even thinking about you, to check in with what your relationship with time is, and to Just [00:16:00] notice throughout the day if you are looking at like, and there can be maybe trigger points of like your calendar or your to do list or maybe there's a project deadline or you have a project meeting or whatever it is, just be aware and start building an awareness of like, How, like, how, how are you feeling when you look at your calendar?
How are you feeling when you look at your to do list? How are you feeling when you're talking about a project deadline, or having a meeting with someone about something, or whatever it is? And check in, what is the story that's driving that feeling? Because it's not the thing, it's like, what are you telling yourself that is driving that feeling?
And just the more that you can build awareness of like, huh, and even just grab a piece of paper and like, write out some of these thoughts, and writing them out, you're like, okay. These are thoughts. They're not necessarily true. This, these thoughts that you're writing about time, or even, you know, pause this now and like, write down.
When I say time, or like time management, or your relationship with time, what comes to mind? Just like, write it all out and see what it is and look at it and just go through each of them and be like, [00:17:00] how does that make me feel when I think that? How am I actually feeling? And probably, unless you have done this work and you feel like you have an amazing relationship with time, um, You're probably going to feel pretty rubbish when you say those thoughts and think those thoughts to yourself.
You're probably going to feel panicked, you're probably going to feel like urgent rush, maybe like a bit of anxiety, a bit of fear. And like, just knowing that this is bubbling under the surface every single day, like, and then when this adds up, like when our body is in a stress state, a like fight or flight state, like it's designed to get into that to get us out of danger and then go back to a rest and digest parasympathetic state.
And so when you are in a fight or flight state. It is, like, it uses so much freaking energy. Like your cells are producing like adrenaline and cortisol and you're getting ready to run and like the, like your digestion shuts off, like your normal bodily functions shut off because you're [00:18:00] preparing to flee.
Like imagine if a lion or something is chasing you. So it's like your body is getting ready to fight, to run away, to freeze, to keep you alive. And like when you're in this again and again and again, like it's just so exhausting on your body. When you can actually shift your relationship with time, and heal it, and have the most amazing relationship with time, you're going to have so much more energy, like, you're just going to feel so much like your days will feel easier and flowier, and you'll get the important things done, you'll get the stuff done that actually you know is going to make a difference, you won't be getting as caught up in like, the panic and the like, tiny things that come up that feel like big things, you'll be able to just like, approach them with such a different, um, like mindset and energy and it is just, like because time happens like every single second and moment of every single day, like when you do this work it literally, it changes your life because it changes every moment of your life because, you know, Chances are you're thinking about how there's not enough time, [00:19:00] probably hundreds of times a day, if you're anything like I was and like my clients often are, it's like, it's just this narrative that we have, like, even often first time we wake up, like, in the morning, it's like, Oh, I didn't get enough sleep.
Oh, I'm late. Oh, I'm this. Oh, I'm not enough. There's not enough time for this. Oh, there's not enough time for that. Like, it just starts as soon as we wake up, it becomes a default thought that we don't even realize. So we're so like when you start shifting that relationship, It literally changes everything.
So I hope that was helpful. And if you want to take this work deeper, I have something super exciting to announce. So I am launching a group program on the 18th of February is going to be our first call Tuesday. So it's going to be Tuesdays, 12 to one, and it's going to be really intimate.
It's going to be really high touch. So there's just going to be 10 of us. It's all going to be online. All going to be on zoom. And we're going to come together for three months, okay? Ninety days, we're going to come together and we're going to heal your relationship with time. You're going to learn [00:20:00] all about how to shift how you're approaching time, completely rewrite that narrative.
And I'm also going to teach something that's like so fun that I've been developing over the last few months, which is intuitive planning. Okay, so this is working with your amazing, beautiful, creative, neurodivergent brain and planning in a way that actually works for you, for your energy levels, for your flowiness and creativity.
So like you're not planning and feeling locked into this plan that just feels like heavy and forced and you find you're like forcing yourself in front of your computer and you're just like. I just need the day to be done so I can like relax. It's going to be building in so much fun, so much flow to your day and also building in nature to your day and nature to your planning and to your business and to your work and actually using that in a way to help boost your creativity and boost your energy and Oh, it's so fun.
I can't wait to, I can't wait to share this and it's like, we're also going to be looking at and healing your relationship with yourself, how you were thinking about yourself, how you were seeing yourself. [00:21:00] By the end of the three months, you're going to, well, we're going to do this from day one, but by the end of the three months, you are going to have stepped into that next level of yourself.
The one that you know you are called to make that bigger impact in the world and you know that you're kind of hiding a little bit or you're getting bogged down. You know that you have this amazing brain and you just feel like it's controlling you and you're trying to. It's going to force yourself into how the world thinks things should be done and how things have been done in the past and it's just like, ugh, and you know that there's another way that feels more flowy and creative and expansive and you're like, I want that in my life.
Like, this is what these three months are going to be. I'm going to teach you all of the tools for understanding your brain and working with it in a super flowy, fun, creative way. It's going to. Like, we're just gonna ditch all the shoulds of like how other people are doing things, how you should be doing things, how you've maybe done things in the past, and really connect you with your intuition, with yourself, and just like understanding what is actually best for you.
And it's gonna be really fun as well. [00:22:00] There's lots of like games and mini challenges in this group of ten, so it's super intimate. We're gonna have This is also so fun. So we'll have a weekly group coaching call and you'll get all the replays There's also going to be like a group chat so we can share wins and you can get like coaching in between sessions as well.
There'll be all the tools and like worksheets and challenges to try out. And then on Thursdays we are going to have a group focus time together. Okay so this is one of the things I teach which is like carving out time every single week. Ideally, every single day, but just whatever works for you to have focus time where you have no distractions, where you have your phone away, everything away, like notifications off and you are thinking and focusing and creating something.
And this is where you do your strategic thinking. This is where you like come up with new ideas. This is where you're not just like doing and going through the motions and taking things off your to do list. You're actually creating something that wasn't there before. That's what we do in focus time. Now, one of the things, certainly with ADHDers is.
We just work so much better when there's someone else [00:23:00] there. So like when there's a buddy, when there's like a body double, like having someone else there helps us focus. And so we're going to come together every single Thursday, three Thursdays of the month. The final week is going to be an integration week, so you can put it all into practice.
And we're going to come together in Zoom for an hour. We're not going to talk, we're not going to do anything, but we're all just going to be on Zoom focusing for an hour and just getting some piece of work done that either you've been putting off, that either is like you feel is just like, oh too much, or you, or it's like too much thought and you just keep putting it off, like you're going to be doing that once a week for an hour.
And when you get into it, you'll probably get into it and then you can keep doing it for like another hour after, but we're going to come together for an hour. And especially if you are a business owner, an entrepreneur, like I know for myself and for loads of my clients, like it can feel quite lonely sometimes when you're working on growing these businesses, making more impact in the world and it's you in a room or you're doing something and you're on your own and so to be able to twice a week connect with other people [00:24:00] with amazing beautiful creative brains who are doing the same work, who are shifting themselves and healing the relationship with time and taking on bigger goals and stepping into that like next identity, next evolution of themselves and just loving on themselves even more and just becoming more of them and feeling braver and more courageous to become more of them.
Like to be able to do this work together is so fun and then have like a safe space, the chat, to be able to kind of share this with each other as well. So that is like the kind of summary, the quick summary of it. Basically you don't have to be neurodivergent to be in this but it is designed for people that are neurodivergent and so it's going to be It's interesting and fun and creative and playful and there's no forcing.
You get to do things how you want to do things. I will give guidelines only, but it's up to you to like take what feels really exciting and interesting and go and play with it. Because we haveinterest led brains, and like the more that we can tap into that, the easier it's just going to be to actually go and do things rather than if someone, you [00:25:00] know, when someone's like, you have to do things this way, I have fallen into that trap.
And I'm just like, I am done with that. No one knows how to do things for my brain other than me. So it's going to be suggestions only and here's some fun things to try and it's just taking them and playing with them and trying them and then, oh it's just gonna be so good. So there's 10 spots if you feel, if you're like, oh my gosh this is what I need in my life, I really, really want this.
Then I'm gonna put the link in the show notes, go there and apply, and there's a deposit to pay while you apply, and then if I go through the applications, if I think you're a really good fit, so it's gonna be screened, the 10 people that I'm bringing together, if I think you're a really good fit, then I will let you know and you can pay the remaining amount.
I'm also going to be doing this, this is half price from what it's going to be. So this is the first round of it. I'm going to keep doing this, assuming it's successful. This is half price. So if you are interested in working with me at all in a group setting, this is your sign. Now is your chance to come and do this.
And if you're like, oh my gosh, I need this. Yes. And if you feel scared and if you're [00:26:00] like, oh, I really want to, but this feels really scary. That's okay too, like, if, just listen to yourself, like, is this a like, yes, even if it feels scary, that's okay. So listen, if it's a yes, apply, okay? And also, if you really want to book a call and like, chat to me and ask any questions, you can book a 15 minute call as well, so I'll put a link there as well, and we can chat through everything, you can ask any questions.
You can also email me as well, but sometimes it's, it's helpful to just jump on a call, chat things through. And yeah, I just want to offer that if you are feeling called to do this, that is a sign that this is the next step for you. That you are ready to step into this next version of you to learn these tools and actually start to like, do things in a different way.
That's going to make the day to day just feel so fun and flowy and just like you're living This most amazing life, which you are, but it's like when you start working with your brain and when you start allowing yourself to be you and like, it's [00:27:00] not only just like shifting the stories you're telling, but letting go of these old stories, letting go of things that are just not helping you anymore, like letting go of the past, like that's what we'll be doing as well.
It's just like this weight will lift and you will just be more of your sparkly, amazing, brilliant self. Oh! I'm so excited. Right. Any questions, of course, just get in touch and go and apply. Even the act of applying, if you're like, yes, even the act of applying is going to change you, is going to make you think about yourself in a different way and think about what it is you truly want to create.
And, oh, I'm so excited to share this work with you. Okay. Have an amazing rest of the day and I'll catch you soon. Mwah! Bye!
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, [00:28:00] ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Ghouls Club.
