Feeling guilty when you're not working?

If you find yourself feeling guilty when you’re not working, just know it’s totally normal.

My clients feel this guilt all the time.

They're passionate about their work, driven to make more impact in the world and so even when they're not working, they think they "should" be.

For you, maybe you’re playing with your kids after dinner, but you can't stop thinking about that client email you should be responding to.

Or you’ve booked a Friday off when there’s a bid deadline. You can’t concentrate during lunch with your friend as all you’re thinking about is how you should be online helping your team with the final review.

And so you’re essentially in guilt limbo: not working and yet not fully present and able to enjoy your time away from work.

Guilt is an emotion we feel when we think we’ve done something wrong.

So if you’re feeling guilty - it’s because your brain is making what you’re doing wrong.

It's making your time away from work "wrong."

That instead you “should” be working. “Should” be helping your team with the bid.

These “shoulds" are simply unhelpful expectations you’re putting on yourself.

And then when you don’t meet them (because you've decided to take time off), you feel the emotion of guilt.

The trick is to notice these “shoulds" and question them:

“Should you be responding to that client?”

“Should you be online with your team?”

The answer is usually no and here's why: because you’ve already made the decision to take this time off.

You've decided on purpose that this is how you're spending your time now - whether with your kids, at yoga or at lunch.

You've not done anything wrong.

You're simply following through on a previous decision you made for how to spend your time.

So drop the "shoulds".

All they do is make you feel guilty unnecessarily.

Which takes you away from enjoying your time (and your life) right now.

And if you feel the guilt creep up, don't get caught in guilt limbo.

Simply remind yourself that in this moment, THIS is what you’ve decided to spend your time doing.

Remind yourself why it’s important to you to spend time with your kids. Or have lunch with a friend.

Remind yourself why you made that decision to take Friday off. 

And know the client email can wait until tomorrow. And that your team will deliver the bid.

Come back to enjoying this moment.