What I learned from brain surgery

Over eight years ago, I had a diagnosis that completely changed the trajectory of my life.

At 28 years old, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. 

Leaving work, one crisp February morning - for what I thought was a check-up - it didn't cross my mind that I might not return for six months.

But after weeks of tests and hours of extensive brain surgery, my tumour turned out to be a rare and benign cyst.

And I felt like I'd been given another chance in life.

Throughout this whole experience, I found facing my own mortality deeply unsettling.

It wasn't something I'd thought about before, but now I couldn’t stop thinking about the finiteness of life.

Of how this could’ve been it.

And that there were so many other things I wanted to do.

And how lucky I was at getting a second chance to make these actually happen.

I know now that being forced to face up to my own mortality was the most important work I’ve ever done.

Because before that diagnosis, I'd never thought about how short my life really is. It was just way too uncomfortable. 

Which, when you think about it, is what most of us do.

Our minds escape this discomfort of considering how little time we have, by instead, sneakily and subconsciously convincing us that we have unlimited time to live.

And it feels much nicer to believe that lie.

But it also creates problems.

Because when we think we have infinite time, we also think we’re able to do an infinite number of things.

And so we fill our days with stuff, keeping so busy we barely have time to think, let alone start on the scary dreams that will make us feel alive.

Which totally makes sense.

Because when we subconsciously believe our time is limitless, we think there'll always be time in the future for the important things.

For me, this illusion of having all the time in the world meant I kept pushing back important things.

I always thought I’d get around to doing what I really wanted to next month. Or next year. When I had more time.

(this may sound very familiar)

But when I accepted the reality - that my time is finite, and that I wasn’t guaranteed a next month, let alone a next year, my life came sharply into focus.

There wasn’t limitless time. And I couldn’t do limitless things.

So what did I want to do?

Thinking about my own finiteness helped me focus on what mattered to me.

And drop so much of that other 'stuff' that was keeping me busy but unfulfilled.

Through this new lens of my own mortality, any decision about how to spend my time and energy became clear.

I stopped saying yes because I felt I “should", stopped filling my days with stuff I didn’t want to do and stopped pursuing a career path I knew deep down wasn't where I wanted to go. 

Instead I started asking myself “what do I want to create in this life?” and "what's truly important to me?"

Now I don't put off making decisions when there's something I want. Instead I go all in on making it happen. Because I know there might not be a next year.

And although this might sound depressing, I've found the opposite true.

Because not putting things off and not giving into fear is the most uplifting journey through life I could imagine.

My life is so much richer when I spend my time on things that truly matter to me.

And when it comes down to it, we all have two choices about when to face our finiteness:

1. You could consider it now, ahead of time. And let it be the catalyst for some of the most positive changes you’ll ever make in your life, and the lives of others.
2. Or you can face up to it later, when it might be staring you in the face. And possibly regret not making those changes earlier.

Now imagine you’re at the end of your life looking back.

If you continue on the course you're on now, will you have spent your time on what truly matters to you?

Will you have made the most of your insanely short, unrepeatable time on this planet?

If not, that's ok. Because there's plenty of time to change it.

One of the reasons I’m so passionate about coaching is because no-one should have to go through brain surgery to stop packing their days full of things they don't want to do.

You don't need a life-altering diagnosis to stop rushing through each day. 

You can decide to create a life focused on what's truly important to you.

You can decide to change things now.