What if you've not failed?
You might think you’re annoyed at yourself because you didn’t finish 2 out of 8 things you’d planned.
That you’re beating yourself up on your run because you didn’t send the status update to that client.
And that you’re lost in thought at dinner because there's still work to be done on the budget spreadsheet.
But that’s not why you’re so annoyed at yourself.
Or why you’re beating yourself up.
Or lost in thought.
The only reason you’re doing these things is because you believe you’ve failed.
That somehow not completing 2 out of 8 tasks, not getting everything done exactly as you’d planned = failure.
This is why many people think they're not organised.
Or don’t want to plan their weeks.
Because of what they make it mean about themselves (failure) if they don’t follow their plan exactly.
But what if it didn’t mean that at all?
You can have 2 unfinished things and not think about them once after 5pm.
Not be annoyed with yourself in the slightest.
And instead be fully present as your kids chat away at dinner.
So how to do this?
You simply want to drop the story that unfinished things = you’ve failed.
It’s just a story you’re choosing to believe.
And so you can decide to believe another one.
Because really, that plan with 8 things you had? It’s completely made up.
It’s just a plan you dreamed up a few days ago.
You could’ve also chosen 5 things. Or 10.
8 was just a random number of things you wanted to get done that day.
And perhaps without even properly taking into account how long you’d spend on each task.
Or your energy levels.
Or any mind drama that got in the way.
Or just life in general.
So if the plan you made is completely made up,
why do you want to make not sticking to this fabricated plan mean anything about you at all?
What if all it meant is this:
You made up a plan. And when you tested it, it didn’t go as you expected.
What if that was it?
Not that you’ve failed.
You just didn’t account for something in the planning or execution phase.
Not a big deal. Just some good information to know for next time, right?
The stories you tell yourself matter.
How you explain everyday things matters.
Because these stories create your whole reality.
And in this case, shifting the story from failure to testing a made up plan, can mean the difference between an evening of being annoyed and in your own head, disconnected from your family - to letting it go, being present and feeling refreshed the next day.
You’re the only one that has the power to change these stories you tell yourself.
And it all starts with seeing your thoughts simply as that: stories.
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