What perfectionism really is

I still remember when I realised there’s no such thing as a perfectionist.

Yet I used to proudly call myself one.

I thought that being a perfectionist would justify why I'd be tweaking slides up until the meeting - making graphs the "right" colour, aligning images.

I thought I had great attention to detail. Nothing got past me - no misplaced comma or typo.

I’d often put reports off until the “perfect” time to do them - once I’d got the easy admin tasks out of the way, once I was feeling motivated (or, if I’m being totally honest - once the pressure of the looming deadline was enough to compel me into action).

And then, having not given myself enough time, I’d rush around in a panic trying to get everything finished, working several late nights in a row and beating myself up for not having started sooner.

Rather than focusing on getting the report completed, I’d get bogged down picking the “right” words (that in reality, no one else would notice).

My life as a perfectionist had a background of low-level anxiety and stress.

Which just wasn’t much fun.

It was through coaching that I realised I wasn’t a perfectionist at all. 

Instead, I was simply a human.

Who was scared.

It was fear that kept putting things off, rushing to get them completed and spending hours polishing them. Fear kept me wasting time on things that didn’t matter - like the colour of a graph.

I was so scared of what others would think of me.

Scared of being judged if I didn’t meet my own unrealistic expectations.

Scared that I’d fail and look stupid.

With coaching I learned how to have full control over my fear so I didn’t need to do things “perfectly” any more. 

I’m now willing to be completely imperfect. To make mistakes. To try and fail and fail some more.

I’m willing to make emails, posts, ideas “good enough” and get them out into the world. Because I know that something doesn’t need to be perfect for it to serve its purpose, and to be able to help someone.

And I’m willing for people to judge me and be completely wrong about me.

Because I know I’m a human who’s learning and doing the best she can.

This is what we teach our clients too - to ditch perfectionism and embrace their humanness. 

Because as humans, we’re never going to be perfect anyways. There’s no such thing. We’re all perfectly imperfect.

And on the other side of ditching perfectionism, our clients say it's like a heavy weight has been lifted. 

They stop putting things off and instead get everything done ahead of time with no rush or stress. They stop beating themselves up when things don't go to plan.

And they stop worrying what others think.

This is possible for you too - it all starts with realising there's no such thing as a perfectionist.

How could you embrace your humanness today?