13 How to stop goal overwhelm
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[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Ghouls Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Hi and welcome to the Scary Goals Club podcast. I am your host, Hazel Robertson, and this is episode 13. I was going to say this is a third of the way to my scary [00:01:00] goal, but it's not, because my scary goal is not having 39 podcasts published. It's having 30! It's, like, almost approaching half, which is so bad to think about.
I've been doing this every week for the last three months. So fun. And I also just got my first YouTube comment. Now I've been, if you've been listening to previous episodes of the podcast, I've been a little bit nervous about uploading the videos on YouTube. And I think it's because I don't use it that much apart from tutorials of how to do things.
And so it feels a little bit like I don't have a sense of the community there and what it's like. And I'm like, Oh, am I putting myself out there? And people are going to hate it and leave horrible comments. And I don't know all of this stuff. Of course our brains do this, right? They go to the worst case.
They go to like how it's going to be terrible, how we're going to be separated from the tribe. People are going to judge us. What I had never expected to happen was that people would subscribe or [00:02:00] subscribe to my podcast on YouTube. Crazy. People want to hear every week. If you're listening to this on YouTube, hi, and I've had my first YouTube comment and it was lovely.
And I'm even going to read it out and I'm going to give a shout out to I've got it here. Mike T. Hi Mike. You are watching this. Thank you for leaving my first ever comment. And he said, um, first YouTube comment, can't believe there are no comments on any of your videos. I'm really liking your content and subscribe.
Keep going. You're doing a great job. Thank you. That is so like, honestly, so kind when I, again, when I set out to do this, it was purely, this is just purely a passion project. If no one listened to any of the episodes or commented on it, it would still feel really valuable for me. Just. Thank you Getting these things out of my head, getting them out into the world.
But the fact that someone, you are listening to this or watching this, and then people that have actually subscribed and commented or given me feedback, [00:03:00] or I've had calls with some of you guys, it's just been amazing. And. Yeah, it's just, oh, I'm just like so grateful for this whole experience. And again, this is why these goals, like setting these scary goals are so fun because they will connect you with people.
They will change you in a way that you could never, ever have imagined when you were starting out and setting the goal. So thanks Mike. And thanks to you, dear listener, who is listening or is watching as well. So if you haven't subscribed on YouTube, head on over. If you want to see me on video. Give you a wave there.
And also I, let's see, I'm trying to think what the update is. Well, I have been so sick. My, you can still hear him a little bit nasally. So I was ill last week. I actually felt okay when I was recording it just was really blocked up. I had squeaky ears. Turns out it was sinusitis. I didn't realize until I was not getting better.
Just [00:04:00] was so ill over the weekend. Canceled plans to go to Aviemore and see friends. I was off work so I had to fill out this e consult for the doctor and it was like, how much is this affecting your life? It's like, Oh, actually a lot when you realize it's like saying no to all these awesome fun plans I had being in bed.
We're coming to watch Flynn a bit more while I was like, literally just had to go and rest and finally got antibiotics on Monday, which was amazing. And then started to kind of shift things. This might be too much information, but my snot is no longer neon colored. It's clear. How fun is that? It's amazing.
And it's reduced. I'm still sounding a little bit bunged up, but yeah, I've got a little bit more energy. I was able to go out for a walk this morning, just. This, this is the first day that I've actually felt like me, like a bit normal and just back to normal. So yeah, I'm recording this podcast literally the day before I'm going to put it out.
and I also. I just noticed I put on this top and it's merino. [00:05:00] So you can get a few wears out of it. And I normally get a few wears out of most of my tops and I put it on over my head and it smells of Vicks. Vicks vapor rubs. The last time I wore it, I had Vicks like slathered all over my chest. It actually smells quite nice.
So anyway, here's where I am. I hope you're having an amazing day, like whatever you're up to. Today I wanted to dive into what to do when you're thinking about your scary goal and it almost feels really overwhelming. It's almost like you're like, I don't really know how to do it. Is it this? Is it that?
And it's almost like the enormity of it and how you're actually going to get there just feels overwhelming. Like, completely paralyzing and it's just causing you to kind of shut down and just be like, Oh, I don't, I can't, it's almost like we can't take action. You just don't want to do anything. And I'll talk through like kind of why we do this and how it's totally normal.
And then some ways to think about it that are [00:06:00] going to really help you. shift into action.
the first thing to know is your brain wants you to be confused. It wants you to be overwhelmed. It wants you to spin out and not take action towards your scary goal. Because if you set a scary goal that's bringing up a little bit of fear, honestly there can be excitement as well. Fear equals danger to our brain.
Danger whether that's that you'll be separated from the tribe in some way, like you're doing something a little bit different. What might people think about you? Maybe fear of the unknown. You don't know what might happen. So your brain fills in all the gaps, all of the detail about the worst case scenario, and it's feeding you all of these things that could go wrong.
Fear of failure. Again, what others are going to think. Or
fear of change as well. Doing anything that is different that is new feels very, very scary to our brain. And so often it will offer us thoughts and they're not always conscious. They come from our subconscious.
so if your brain is offering you, I don't know how to do this, like you're thinking about the [00:07:00] big goal. It feels really overwhelming. You're like, I don't know how to do this. And you just like get confused and overwhelmed and just completely shut down. Again, your brain wants you you to not be taking action.
So this is completely normal. So just knowing that whenever you're feeling confused about something or overwhelmed, underneath that is some kind of fear. There's almost like confusion and overwhelm is, is what we think is happening. Oh, there's just too much to do. I don't know what, where to start. I'm like, I don't know how to do it.
Underneath it is the fear. Okay. So just knowing that it's completely normal and that means you can catch your brain when you're in that place. And here's the thing.
Like, if you think back through school, and maybe you went to university, and maybe then you went and We got a job or maybe, you know, whatever your path was. And like, for me, this is what I did. Went to school, went to uni, did a master, well, did a ski season and a mountain biking season in the summer, which was awesome.
Then did a [00:08:00] master's, then got a job. And it wasn't until way later that I actually set up my own business. So at school you're taught like, okay, here is how you do things. And then you get your A, you know, like you're given the steps, learn these things. Then you get the A. And at uni it's the same. Okay, there's a little bit more like research that you're bringing in, but it's like, here are the things, this is how you get the A.
Do these things, get the A. And even when you're in your first job, like if you did, you know, before setting up your business, if you did go into corporate or working for a non profit or whatever it is, usually you're told, okay, this is how you do your job. And there's some bits you're like taking and playing with, but generally it's like, this is how this is done.
And so we come out of uni into the workplace and even in the workplace, and we are almost expecting this, like, this is how things are done. This is what you do next. This is what you do next. Like as if everything is laid out for us, it's almost like an instruction manual for our life. That is [00:09:00] how we are conditioned through school system and through our lives is like, this is how we do things.
This is how it is done. And so often we come out into setting up our own businesses or maybe into the world of work. And it's like, Oh wait, there's no instruction. Like the instruction manual for life has kind of stopped following all the rules, going through all the steps. And at some point. It stops. And then, especially when you're in entrepreneurship, you figure things out for yourself.
There is no instruction manual. You could follow someone, obviously coaches and mentors and business training, all of that is useful, but how you will actually do it is going to be different than anyone else. anyone else will teach. You could follow someone's exact steps and
It may not work exactly the same way. Like it's understanding what your mindset is, that's driving some of those things and like how you're making decisions. So there's not always an instruction manual for do all these things. It's going to be different for you [00:10:00] and your unique business and your unique scary goal.
So especially when we're setting scary goals, we have never done the thing before. We can look at like other people that have done it and get. insights. But if we rely too much on that, we're almost like looking for the answers outside of ourselves because we've been conditioned all the way through school and through uni to do that, to say, okay, well, someone else will tell me how to do it rather than checking in with us and trusting ourselves or intuition or gut knowing that actually we have the answers for what is going to come next.
And this has been something that. I have really had to learn in the last few years and it's hard. It's like, I want to have, okay, do these steps and I know I'm definitely going to get the goal or definitely it's going to work. It just doesn't always work like that. There are things you can do that are going to help you get there.
Ultimately it's understanding what is going to be best for you and figuring out the how [00:11:00] is going to come from mostly within. And you don't always need to know. All of the steps along the way. This is why we often get overwhelmed or confused. It's like, Oh, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. As if we need to know every single thing of how we're going to actually create the goal.
and my brain did this as well, right? Even with this goal, scary goal of 30 podcast episodes, it was like, I don't even know how to record a podcast. and I got so overwhelmed thinking, wait, I've got to record it. How am I going to do it? I podcast like, how do I edit?
Like, And it's easy to just be like, Oh, it's too hard. I'm just part doing anything about it. Especially if you have it on a to do list or on your calendar and there's something else that's really easy and you know how to do it and you've done it like a million times versus record podcast episode recording edit.
It's always going to be easier to do the thing that you know how to do. It's going to feel safer for your brain than this other thing where it's going to take cognitive energy and you've got to like think about it and figure it out and you're probably going to [00:12:00] test things and it's not going to work and you're going to have to go through this process of doing something for the first time.
It's always going to feel overwhelming to your brain. It's going to be like, do you know what? Let's just do the easy things. So when you find your brain going to this place, like, Oh, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. It's only because you're imagining all of the things you have to do, all of the steps along the way.
And it's almost like when we try it, when our brains try and think about everything, it just becomes so overwhelming. So whenever there's overwhelm, it's because you're trying to think about all of the things. Okay. You don't actually need to know all of the steps. to start taking action on your goal. You don't need to.
All you need to know is the next step. And then once you take that next step, you get a bit of momentum, you figure out, then you're like, oh, well, the next step is this. Oh, the next step is this. You don't need to have every single step along the way figured out before you can take that first step. [00:13:00] The same with anything.
You don't need to know all the steps. Your brain will like to tell you that it, that you do. Your brain will love to tell you and convince you that you do need to know all the steps before you can even take one. It's just not true. So even with this, this podcast, it was like, okay, what is the first step to recording?
Oh, actually it's like I have a mic, I can do it on zoom, which is why I'm doing just recording like my own meeting and then I'll figure out the editing afterwards. It was like, okay. Or I had like a bit of a Google was like, here's some good articles on it, pulled them into read for later. It's like, okay, I can get and record.
Then I'll figure out the editing. Like I had a rough plan for what I would do, but I didn't need to know the exact steps because I wouldn't have known until I was in it of like how to do all the details of the intro and the outro and. Like, do a crossfade when I'm putting clips together, I would have got like, so overwhelmed even trying to start recording an episode.
If I was [00:14:00] thinking like about those things, I didn't even know that was a thing until I got into it. I was like, Oh, there's like a in between those two clips. Okay. Maybe I need to do some blending or something's like, okay, I'll Google that. Like the next step will always be revealed when you actually take action.
It's all you need to know. All you need to ask yourself. is what is that next step? And so what can be really helpful when, because again, we're very used to and we're conditioned to think that the answer is outside of ourselves and someone else, an expert, has the answers. And I talked about this in the Q& A episode that I did.
It's like, before you ask the question, Like, ask it to yourself. So even just trusting yourself, creating a bit of space, creating a bit of quiet and just asking yourself, okay, what is the next step? And when we ask amazing questions to our brain, we get amazing answers. We ask, like, why don't I know all the steps?[00:15:00]
Why am I terrible at this? We're going to get answers that are not that useful. We ask an amazing question, like, what is the next step? And we truly trust that we know. We just take that next step. I mean, we just keep asking this question all along the way. And then our brain's not getting caught up in, The overwhelm of all of the different steps and well I don't know this and I'll have to get this skill and I'll have to do this.
So your brain is going to that. Bring it back down, take some deep breaths and just create a bit of quiet, create a bit of space. And then once you do that, ask, what is the next step? And again, as you start to take the action and move towards it, all of the steps along the way, like they will be revealed.
You will figure them out. You won't know step 35 right now. You won't even be able to know what that is from right here from right now. But Once you've done 34 steps towards it, you'll be like, Oh, well this is [00:16:00] the next way to go. And it'll be so different. Like the path will zigzag and it'll be different than you could possibly have imagined right now because every step you're going to learn something else.
You're going to learn more about yourself. You're going to learn more about what's working, what's not like on the way to your scary goal. And so all of that learning will help inform your next decision and your next decision and your next decision about what the next steps are, but you don't need to know them all right now.
You can have an idea and a loose plan and you can like map out some stuff, but not getting too hung up on it and keeping that like openness and flexibility and not, like sometimes we can get really rigid and attached to needing to know all the steps because we sometimes feel that that's going to be comforting.
Okay, if I know all the steps, I can rely on that to believe that I might create the goal. It's like, if I have the exact plan laid out, I know, then I get to believe in myself. It just doesn't work. It's like we're relying [00:17:00] on something else to change our thoughts about ourself, or is this the other way around?
It's trusting that we believe in ourself. enough to take that next step and take that next step. So that's how you create the goal, not by having this like magical plan that you can hang all your belief on, it's by trusting yourself that of course you're going to figure out the next step.
anytime you go to try and Research more, get someone else's advice, get someone else's opinion.
Think you need to know everything figured out. If the overwhelm is coming up, just pausing being like, Oh, interesting. That is an opportunity to slow it down, to narrow your focus down to just the next step and trust yourself. Okay. So create that space, listen to yourself and just know that you have all of the answers inside of you.
Yes, you can get, you know, advice from others. That's great, but not. Instead of, or at the expense of listening to yourself and truly trusting yourself. That is why these, these scary goals are so fun [00:18:00] because you're ripping up the how, you're ripping up the rule book of following all the steps that someone else has laid out and trusting, like, what is it for you?
And it's not about not getting advice of support, of course do that as well. Really listening to yourself and just focusing on that next step with anything. So again, the overwhelm's coming up, it's because you're thinking about all of the things, putting your brain back down. What is that next step? And the smaller that you can make the step, The easier it's going to be to get your brain on board and actually do the thing.
And then once you start, it's so much easier to be like, oh, it's this, it's this, it's this. Like the inspiration will come and then the momentum will come. So. For example, the first step could be like the podcast episode, it's like the first step was open a Google doc and map out my first episode or whatever it is.
You know, it's like, okay, I can totally do that. I can open a Google doc. And then once you're in, it's like, okay, I can think of one thing I'm going to say in my first [00:19:00] episode. Okay, cool. I've got that. And then it's like, Oh, the next thing you need to do is that the next thing you need to do is this. So. The smaller the step, the easier it is to get your brain on board, and the easier it is to then take that action, and then keep going, keep going, keep going.
So if you're feeling paralyzed, if you're not taking action, if you're spitting out and feeling overwhelmed, next step, and get it as small, as small, as small as you can. Okay, I hope that was helpful, and I hope you have an amazing rest of the day, and an amazing week ahead, and I'll see you next time. Bye!
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the [00:20:00] Scary Ghouls Club.
