[00:00:00] And welcome to the scary goals club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson. And I believe that to make the impact that you know, you're called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we're diving into.
Mindset tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps. You can take and start applying straight away. Cause. Or whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you want to make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
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Hi and welcome to the Scary Goals Club podcast. And if you are listening to this when it comes out in real time, it's my birthday! Happy birthday to me! I'm 39 [00:01:00] years old and honestly it feels like such a dream. a gift. Like, so I'm recording this just before, so I'm still 38 at the moment. In my last few days I'll be 38.
And it just, like, I remember in my 20s, I know this is gonna sound a bit crazy, but like, I had in my head, and I don't even know where it came from, that I would, like, not make it past 28. I don't know why. Maybe it was like, around about the time where there were a lot of musicians and people who died in whatever way, like when they were 28.
And I almost like had in my head and I was quite like wild. We'll get on to that in a future podcast, but like, I don't know, I just, I was like, oh, I won't make it past 28. And I don't know why there wasn't any like other reason than that, other than I was very, very surprised to make it to 30 and very surprised to make it even to 29.
So to make it to 39, and I think. Like it just, I don't know, life just feels like the [00:02:00] biggest gift. And I think about this a lot anyway, like I definitely reflect a lot on like the end of my life and like how do I want to be living my life and, and realizing like an insane gift it is that we are here at all.
Like, I don't know. Not only that we're here on this planet, like, what are the, like, when you actually think about it, the chances of, like, your parents and how that happened, and, like, the minute chance that it would make you, and then it's, like, and their parents and their parents and their parents, like, all the way back, like, the chance encounters, the, like.
Fleeting, sliding doors moments of decisions of like, which way it would pan out that like, like it is just a crazy thing that we are here at all. And the crazy thing that like, I'm here right now that I'm able to share these ideas in a podcast. I'm able to connect with you that we are like doing life at the same time.
We're here on this planet in like the vastness of space at the same time, it is just [00:03:00] wild. Like when I think about that, it just, it fills me with just such. immense gratitude for being here at all and I just feel like it's the biggest gift. Also last week one of my like one of my really good school friends her dad passed away and it was his funeral last week and yeah he was almost like a second dad growing up and just Someone who you just always think was going to be there and you know, like you imagine opening the door or like ringing the doorbell at their house and he just gives you this like big smile, big hug, like always asking how you are, always like just so full of energy, just like love bringing people together and just such a kind, kind person.
And it was like even just I think reflecting on that, like again, thinking about the end of your life, but actually someone that you really love, like. not being there anymore and realizing how fleeting life can be that you just don't always know when these moments are and This used to scare me like thinking about this.[00:04:00]
This is not how I thought this episode was gonna go. I'm actually gonna dive into like different things that energize me and like, but here I'm gonna, I'm gonna run with it anyway because, like, I used to shy away from thinking about death, even though I thought I wouldn't live to pass 28. I didn't really think about it, but.
The more that I've been able to just, like, be present with it, and obviously, like, it feels hard, and you're, like, almost grieving and having capacity to think about it, but the more that it brings into focus, like, every tiny little moment of my life, like, all of the times that I can catch myself in the moment when I'm, like, Nah, nah, nah I need to like go do this thing and uh I like pause and go like give my son a cuddle, play with him, pause on a walk and like stand close my eyes and just feel the sun in my face and just breathe the air and I listen to the birds singing and give my dog a cuddle or like give Luke a cuddle like all of those things like the things that we have the things that matter the most to us [00:05:00] they are finite like they are not here forever and nothing is guaranteed and I guess just like having a funeral having someone like really close to me or like that I've grown up with and known for like over 20 years die and not be here anymore it makes you just realize not only what you have but like to Be appre like, not only be appreciative of the things you have while they're still here, but to tell people that they matter to you.
I think that's the, like, the biggest thing. Oh, I didn't realize I was gonna cry. Okay. Um, like the biggest thing, it was so moving, like when his daughter, like my friend, spoke at his, his funeral, like with the eulogy and she was just saying like how, and it really really moved me. It was like, like he knew how much, like even though he died really suddenly and it was really unexpected, so it was like really traumatic and, and just horrible for the family.
Um, like he died knowing how much he was loved and [00:06:00] they all like he's gone and they all know how much he loved them because like they told him and he told them and it's like, they just didn't like that is one of the, I've just been thinking about it so much over the last week and a bit is like, Often we can have these, like, kind feelings towards people or that we think about them in a certain way or people that we appreciate, we don't always tell them because maybe it can feel scary or vulnerable or we're like, worried about being rejected or them not saying it back to us.
And it's just like, like how amazing that no matter like you could almost like, you just know that if anything happens to people you really care about that they truly know just how much they mean to you.
And I think we can get busy, and in our own heads, and like, focusing on things that aren't working, or focusing on things that's, you know, with people in relationships that are frustrating, or are hard, or that we don't want someone to do, instead of like, actually, all of the amazing things that someone does, and how they make us feel.
And like, [00:07:00] just. The, the impact that they have on us and actually like telling them, telling them to their face or over a text or just actually just saying it. So yeah, it's like I, like being here, there's so many people, like even I have a friend that I lost who was 24 and it's like, she never made it to 39 and I'm not 39 yet.
I'm doing this before, hopefully I'll make it to 39 as well, um, but you know, she never made it to 38 and I think it's just. Like, yeah, just reflecting so much on, like, every single day to wake up, like, the sun is shining, like, there's trees out the window, and just, I just feel so grateful for where I am in my life.
Yes, there's so many things that are really hard, really uncertain, that I'm, like, struggling with at the moment, like, we all are because it's life. But I just, like, [00:08:00] have been making gratitude just such a practice, certainly over the last, like, nine months. Just, like, every single day and now it just, like, I feel it, like, in my bones.
It's, like, the first thing I feel when I wake up is I'm, like, I am so grateful for this life and I'm so grateful for this life exactly how it is. Sure there's things I'm working towards, sure there's goals I'm creating, sure there's things and it'll be different in six months, in a year. But like, for right now, for right here, I am so grateful for the people I have, for like, where I am, that I'm safe, that I'm able to, like, do what I love, and for my family and my friends and my community and just, oh, so,
just take a wee breather. So yeah, that's where I'm at. Some reflections on, I think birthdays are always a bit funny, aren't they? It's like, a reflection almost on the year and it's like another milestone and it just time kind [00:09:00] of evolves and keeps moving and one way I find to like really slow time down is just to be so present and to be so grateful and just like have all the tiny micro moments and it just like in some ways the year feels like it's gone quickly but also it's been so full and there's been so many things I like it has been a hard year there's been so many things I have learned from that and from those hard points that I'm still kind of learning and still figuring out.
So anyway, thanks for, thanks for being here on this journey with me and thanks for listening to this on my birthday or whenever you're listening and thanks for sharing this with me. So I hope you are good wherever you are, however old you are, whatever age you are, what a gift that is and yeah, just go and like, Go hug someone that you love and tell them that you love them and don't shy away from that.
It can feel scary, especially if, like, you weren't used to [00:10:00] that growing up or maybe it's not what you were told or you had in your family or maybe you had demonstrated to you, but just letting It's like, if you can be present with that, and like, open yourself up to the feeling, even if it feels uncomfortable, like, what is on the other side of it is, is just everything, and just, yeah.
Anyway, okay, I'm gonna get back to, so today I wanted to talk through, oh, basically, actually, no, there's a, there's a, there's a little lead in to it, which is, Because it's my birthday, when you're listening to this, today on the Friday, this is almost like my birthday week. I've been calling, it could be like a birthday month, but a birthday week, I've been really thinking about building in a birthday week of self care.
Okay, now this is a practice I've been building in a lot more of because Some previous episodes, like I got burned out earlier this year and I know it's because I didn't listen to the signs. I didn't listen to my body. I [00:11:00] didn't put certain practices in place that now I'm like, it is not happening again.
Like I know the signs, I know all the practices and I'm just being so preventative. So part of that is just building in self care. And so I've got this self care week and Sunday I like went to bed super early. On Monday I had like, I napped with Flynn in the afternoon, so like, Monday's one of the days I hang with him.
We had a nap in the afternoon, and then I like, went to bed super early. On Tuesday night I did yoga, and then Wednesday I was hanging with him again, and again we had a two and a half hour nap together. It was so nice. I think just December I just like, want to cozy up, and I was putting him down for his nap and I was like, oh, I'm a bit sleepy, and it was like, oh, I could do this, I could do this, and I was like, what is better than like, cuddling in with your little baby and just like.
cozy and just falling asleep. We slept for two and a half hours. Normally, normally he'll sleep for like, in the car, I don't know, 50 minutes or maybe an hour and a half. I think it's, and I would maybe sleep for like four or five minutes or whatever. We obviously both needed it and obviously just [00:12:00] both, I don't know, when you're in the bed and you're cozy and it was just, Oh my gosh, I couldn't believe it when I woke up.
It was so nice. Although I did struggle a bit to get to sleep after that. But, and then today I am seeing one of my friends to get some Reiki, which would be amazing. I can't wait. And just like prioritizing early nights, like things that I know are gonna like energize me and just help me take care of me.
Because I know that when I take care of me. I can help people more, like I can support others around me who are maybe struggling or like need support, I can support like my family more. And also when I take care of myself, I know that I, I just have more energy and I'm just, I'm just like a better version of me, I'm much better to be around, everything's easier, like life feels easier, everything feels flowier.
And I'm just making like a real focus of that for this week, but then I was thinking actually this is stuff I'm just doing a lot more regularly anyway, and I think it's really [00:13:00] helpful not only for winter but for December because there can be a lot of like parties and gatherings and like family coming together and travel and stuff that's maybe can be draining and can be exhausting if you don't like prioritize in rest and exercise and things that like actually energize you and take care of you.
So I thought I would give a bit of a fun list of like, I mean, I've got a list of 16 things. I won't take long going through them, but these are basically things that energize me. And I really want to offer you this question, which is, and this is something that I do with all my clients is like, What energizes you?
Like, sometimes we don't even know. We're so just like, I have to do this, I have to do this, like, down in the weeds of the busyness and ticking things off that we're not tuning into our body to be like, is this draining me? Is this energizing me? Like, what is actually happening with this? And what does energize me?
And how can I build more of that into my day and into my week? And honestly, once I have started doing this practice, like, really focusing on what actually energizes me, [00:14:00] like, I have so much more energy. I know it sounds so obvious and so simple, and it is. It's not always easy to do it, but it's very simple, is like, just being aware, like, oh, interesting.
Like, that's really energizing. I'm going to do more of that. Or like, ooh, I felt quite like drained after that. Okay, now I'm going to like, how can I take care of myself? So asking yourself a question, even like, pause now if you want, and just like, write down like, what energizes you. And then just as you go throughout your day, as you go throughout your week, really tuning in and thinking, like, where you notice yourself just naturally having more energy, that's I'd be like, huh, and either write it down on your list or like tune into it.
And like, how can you build in that a little bit more? And the fun thing is like, if you can punctuate it in like moments throughout your day, it doesn't have to be this like big thing you do. And then that you're like energized. It's like micro moments throughout the day that you do some of these things and you build in these practices and it'll just keep your energy levels up during the day.
And it's just going to make everything feel so much easier, so much like flowier and [00:15:00] way more fun. Okay. So. You get your list and I'm going to give you some of mine. Okay, so first one, morning walks or runs. So, and actually any walks throughout the day, especially in nature. So getting outside, like getting onto a trail, getting like in the woods, in the trees, there's so much research that shows just how powerful like trees are for like, calming our nervous system, making us feel calm, making us feel energized.
So And walking also, it like, gets your blood flow, it like, gets your blood flow to your brain, it helps concentration, it helps focus, helps boost your mood, like all of these things. And even especially, not necessarily having like, headphones in, but just going out for a walk, not having your phone there, just actually being, and just being.
Being really present with whatever's around, like noticing a tree, noticing the birds, like listening for the birdsong, like stuff that's really going to grind you in the present moment. The second one, which is kind of similar but also different, is exercise. So this for me, like [00:16:00] whenever I'm feeling a bit sluggish or tired, like getting outside, whether it's a walk, whether it's doing yoga, whether it's going for a run, whether it's going for a bike ride, completely shifts my energy.
It makes me have way more energy, like the more it's almost like To a point, obviously, but it's like the more exercise I do and I build in, the more energy I then have. Oftentimes it can be like, oh, I'm so tired, too tired to exercise. And I promise, like, getting out for a walk and moving your body, you'll feel so much more energized after.
Number three is I prioritize sleep so much. Like I have alarms on my phone that are like, time to wind down, time to go to bed. Like I get to bed as early as I can and I meditate in bed and I like relax myself and I listen to something. So I'm like really like in a deep sleep. I have a really nice dark room.
I have white noise, all of that that just helps me sleep. And I have an alarm that goes off the same, like a light alarm that wakes me up at the same time every day. And we also have a child that wakes me up about the same time, roughly every day. So, um, that I find just like when I practice [00:17:00] sleep. And like some of these are really obvious, they are the basics, but like when we can get these things in place it just makes everything else so much easier.
Meditation. This is huge for me. Meditation, not only in just like focusing on my breath. But in actually being present like with what my emotions are, being present like noticing any thoughts, also using meditation as a way like sometimes I'll listen to affirmations of things that I want to be practicing and like beliefs that I want to be practicing and I'll listen to that and just as I'm going about my day or if I'm feeling a bit like I'll go and like put that in.
The fifth one is visualization. This one is so powerful for shifting my energy and like giving me more energy. And every morning I spend like, it's one of the first things I do when I wake up and also before I start work as well, is like visualizing not only like my day and how I want that to go and how I want things to go, but like how I want my big goals to be.
And really imagining them. And when I imagine that it takes me beyond just like the day to [00:18:00] day that I'm in and just completely shifts my energy and I'm like, okay, it's this and all these ideas come. And that's what you'll notice. Like as soon as you shift your energy, all of these ideas will come pouring in, uh, my diet.
So things that really help, like, and again, for you, it's listening to your body, like what foods energize you, what foods maybe drain you. I know for me. When I have too much caffeine, I get a crash and I find that really tiring. It's the same with sugar. So generally, and actually at the moment, I've cut caffeine out for the last few days and I'm sleeping better.
I, not that I even have that much, I have like a couple cups of tea in the morning, maybe one in the afternoon, but I'm really sensitive to it. And like, I got such a sore head when I cut it out, like, on Monday, I was like, my head was so sore, I was like, that is a sign that I've, like, had too much. So, reducing the caffeine's really helped, and just, I'm just aware of that, because that can also interfere with sleep.
So if I do have caffeine, I'll have it in the morning, and normally it's like a cup of tea, but I've been switching to, like, herbal teas. I of decaf anyway, [00:19:00] and some mushroom tea as well, which is good for focus. And then, yeah, sugar. And I just often, like, find, like, when I eat loads of, like, fruit and veggies and protein and, like, good carbs and all of that kind of stuff, like, when I'm actually listening to what my body needs, I just eat really well.
And again, that helps me with sleep, with exercise, and it just, it feels like everything's working and flowing. Dancing. Number seven is dancing. So I did that even just before recording this podcast. I was like feeling a bit, I'd gone for a walk, I'd done visualization, but I'm still feeling a lot like I got a bit of a like, I just put tunes in and literally jumped about to some high contrast.
It was so good. I'm like thinking about it now. It was so good. I've got this playlist of just tunes that I put on that just like, Boost my energy and I just had to dance around. I was singing. No one was in the house. I was like, apart from my dog Maple, I was like dancing around the kitchen, like singing to her and she's like wagging her tail.
It's like dogs can pick up on it. They pick up on how we are and the energy we're giving off. So that was super fun. So even thinking for you, like, [00:20:00] What music do you just love? And like, create a playlist, have something that you can just put on, and it will completely shift how you're feeling. And again, you can do this throughout the day, so like, if you're a bit like, oh, feeling like a bit bleh with something that you're doing, stick it on, put some tunes on, and it'll completely change your state.
Number eight is being with friends. So like, being with friends, and with people as well, I just, I get so energized being around people. So I notice that if I'm like, in my room too much, or not actually connecting with people. I will take myself out to a coffee shop, I will take myself like to a networking event, do something where I'm at, or like go and hang with friends, like do something where I'm actually connecting with people, like meet a friend who's working from home, go for a walk, like anything like that.
I know completely shifts my energetic state for the rest of the day and just gives me so much more energy. And it can be easy to be like, Oh, I don't have time for a walk. And it's like the amount I do in the afternoon is like so much more focused. And whereas if I hadn't gone, I hadn't connected with someone, I would have been like, Oh, [00:21:00] like I know my energy dips in the afternoons, anything I can do to like boost that is really helpful.
Okay. Number nine, just like laughing and being silly. Okay. And. I'm a very silly person and I think having a kid has just been so fun for almost like giving myself permission to be really silly again. Like it's not that I stopped being silly but maybe slightly thought I had to be a bit more serious or like grown up and now I've realized like I literally don't have to and it is so fun.
It's almost like The sillier I am, the better. Like, making up songs, doing silly dance moves, it's just, it's so fun. And I know that like, when I do even just a little bit of that, like, it makes me, again, it just totally like, energizes me. And I go away, like, skipping away to go and do whatever else I was going to do.
Uh, no alcohol. So this is something that I have done kind of on and off. Like, I guess, when was I? Pregnant for the first time. I'm trying to even [00:22:00] think. Oh my goodness, 20 I'm so COVID is like the whatever years. Um, I got pregnant, I can't even remember when that would have been, and then had a miscarriage.
So that would have been 2020 maybe? So maybe since 2020 ish. I've drunk, like, pretty much no alcohol, or very little. Um, before, actually, no, because it was, when was COVID? Oh my god, I can't even remember. Was COVID 2020? I think it was. I think it was 2020. It's been before that. I am, like, so out of dates.
Anyway, reducing my alcohol consumption has given me so much more energy. I initially stopped, like, trying to get pregnant, and then when I was pregnant, obviously, and then, like, breastfeeding. I just didn't, I just didn't want to drink. And Actually then after that, even when I had, like we were in Chamonix last year and I noticed, I was like, oh I'll just Maybe we're in France, like, I'll have a [00:23:00] little, like, glass of wine, or whatever, and I just noticed, well, a few things.
One, all I could think about was, like, when I was, all I was thinking about was, like, the drinks. It was like, oh, do I have one, like, straight after work? Will I have two? Wait, no, we're doing this tomorrow, so maybe I'll just have one. Will I have a wine or a this? It was like, oh, when can we go for a drink? Oh, maybe we could go for a drink now.
Like, literally, it was something that I'd not really noticed in myself before, but it was just this like, constant, almost like negotiating and figuring out in my brain of like, should I have this? Should I have one? Should I not have one? Should I do this? Should I do that? So there was that, that I was aware of like, all of this mental load of figuring out A, should I be having a drink on this day?
And B, how much do I drink? What do I drink? And then the second thing I noticed, which I think has shifted maybe since having my son, but actually maybe I just had it anyway and I was just not really aware of it, is I just felt so anxious the next day, even from [00:24:00] having one drink. And sometimes I'd feel really tired.
I'd feel a bit like, oh, just like, a bit fuzzy, my brain wasn't as sharp, and I had this like low level kind of anxiety that was there that I had never really noticed that I'd had before. And I think because I had not drunk for so long and then I had it I was like, oh this is from the alcohol. And I know because like alcohol is a depressant.
And literally I was like, it is just not worth it for me anymore for the mental load of figuring it out. And then when I had one I would always want more. I'd be like, oh let's just get a bottle and let's get this and get this. Like I know that once I have it I can want a lot more. And it was just, and the feeling the next day, I was like, it's just not worth it to me.
And so I've just not drunk. And then, but then I had like a glass of champagne at Christmas, I had a glass of champagne like a few months ago, but I still felt a bit like fuzzy the next day. And it's like, is it actually worth it? So I've had maybe like two drinks in a year or something. So I'm not like no alcohol ever, but every [00:25:00] time I have it, I'm like, I literally didn't need that.
I could have had a cup of tea. I could have had like a sparkling water. And, yeah, it's just, anyway, so, but since cutting out alcohol, I think the thing that has been the biggest shift for me is like, knowing that whatever I plan at the weekend, on a work day, on whatever, I'm actually going to have the brain energy and the headspace to be able to do it.
Okay, there's other things that can happen, but it's not going to be because I'm feeling a bit fuzzy or a bit hungover or a bit like, just not fully myself. So I feel like letting go of that is just, it has brought me so much more energy. And also when I was like a bit tired or hungover, I'd like Not even hungover, I'd have one drink and I'd want crisps, or I'd want this, or I'd want like, just like, I'd just be eating more junky food constantly, and then I'd feel lethargic, and then I wouldn't want to go for a run or anything, and I would just feel a bit like this.
So I know, like, that has been such a huge thing in actually helping me just, like, tap into the energy that I have a bit more. That's been a huge one. Okay, number 11, [00:26:00] these are things that energize me, is doing something new. And like building this in, even if it's something like trying a new trail, running a new trail, signing up for a different class, like doing something slightly different, slightly new, at least kind of every week, that brings me so much energy.
Just something a little bit different. Sometimes it's good to have routines and it can be helpful, but adding in that, like, that novelty of doing something a little bit different that snaps me out of my routine, it stays with me. Like the memory of whatever I've been doing, like really stays with me. And it just, like, It just gives me so much more energy, like, doing something.
It's almost like while I'm doing the thing that's new. Like I'm alert and taking everything in and so I just feel so energized by it. It's like, ah, newness, newness. And our brains are wired for novelty and for newness. And so if you can build that in in a really helpful way, like that can also bring you really like loads of energy as well.
It does for me. Okay, um, number 12 is playing. So this is kind of like being silly and laughing, but [00:27:00] Just playing, and like, playing with my son. Again, he's taught me so much about, like, not taking life too seriously. And this year, like, my word of the year, like, my intention was play. And it's just bringing that more into my business.
Bringing that more into, like, how I'm coaching. And just being a bit more playful. Like, the more that I've been playing, the more energy I've had. It's just, I don't know what has happened as adults that it's like, We get to the point where like, do this, do this, we get into this almost like, I should do this, and this is the way to be, and it's like, play is just so fun, and just like, being silly, or even like, hanging out in the woods with friends, like, and their kids as well, and just like, mooching around, picking up sticks, like, throwing stones, throwing balls, like, any of that like messing around and I think kids are just so good for that because they're so present so in the moment and just playing so and dogs are good for that as well just like basically we need to [00:28:00] learn kids and dogs that's what I have learned this year for sure is is like and the last two years it's like they have so much to teach us if we can actually be present with it and it's it can often go the other way around it's like oh no I need to teach them I'm sure there's like showing them ways to be in the world But like, they have it, they have it so figured out.
They really do. And so I've just been bringing in a lot more play, a lot more lightness, a lot more like creativity, and just letting myself like, Mess around with stuff. And like the other day, even just those silly things, like it was making pasta last night. I was like, oh, there was like a carton of, I dunno, chopped tomatoes and I was like, oh, it's silver on the inside.
And so I cut out like, it's like, oh, let's trace around and make some stars and like cut it out and like make some arts and craft and like silver stars. So it's just like, I dunno, silly things like that. I'm just, yeah, just playing and being playful. makes me feel so much more energized. It's just everything just feels lighter and easier and I know that also we [00:29:00] learn more like when we're playing it because we feel safe like it's the same with when we're laughing and being silly like we feel safe so we learn a lot better as well.
Everything just feels much lighter. Okay number 13, gratitude. This one like, I should have put this as number one. This one is huge and this is something that It's one of those practices that you start and very quickly it will shift so many things from you. It will, for you, it will just shift like for me, how I am just, and I've always appreciated what I've had and I've always been like pretty optimistic, but just on a deeper level because our brains are still wired to look for like the gap, the bit that we haven't done.
They have the negativity bias. It's like. Oh, but I'm not here yet. Oh, but I'm not here yet. Oh, but this. Oh, but that like my brain still does that even though I can reframe it, even though generally I'm optimistic, but gratitude has been just one of those amazing things that has just like, it's way less like, Oh, you're not here yet.
It's like, look at all this amazing stuff around you. Look at [00:30:00] all this amazing people around you. Look at what you have. Look at what you're able to do. Like, you know, like the start of this, that's like, you've made it to this. 39 almost, you're 38, like almost 39. How amazing is that? Rather than being like, uh, I'm getting older, like that's where I maybe would be like, oh I don't want to be this age, and just be like, oh birthdays, whatever.
Now I'm like, Fuck yeah, like, I have a birthday. I'm gonna celebrate the heck out of it. Like, I think that's changed. Like, gratitude's helped me be like, I'm gonna celebrate this birthday. I am gonna be like, I've made it this far. Like, what a gift. Whereas before I'd be like, yeah, yeah, it's not a big birthday.
Like, what's the point anyway? Like, it's just completely shifted. Like, how I see even the smallest of things, and even when things are hard, and even when things are like, not working, working, I'm still like, yes, but all of this stuff is actually amazing, and I'm gonna figure out. And I think it's just been the greatest gift.
So gratitude has been huge for shifting my energy and helping me feel more energized. It just makes everything lighter, like, when you can feel [00:31:00] grateful and gratitude, like, it's not always easy, but the more you practice it, the easier it is to like, Get into it by default like it becomes more of your state like the more with emotions It's like the more that you practice emotions on purpose the more that they become kind of your default state so like by practicing it and really feeling it's like it's more of my default state and Everything just feels a little bit lighter and I've got way more energy for it.
Uh, right. Number 14 is processing emotions. So being present, not resisting them. If I'm feeling like fear, anxiety, like guilt, shame, like not running away from them, not like distracting myself. Okay. Yes. I sometimes do, of course, but like when I can actually just be present with it and process through the feeling, it like releases the, if you think of it, like there's almost this like stuck energy.
So Emotions are just like energy in our body. It's like biochemical markers, like things change in our cells because of what we're thinking. And so when we have a [00:32:00] feeling like fear, like anxiety, like one that feels heavier, that's stuck, it is like it's if we're not processing it, it just feels heavy and it's there and it's like, Oh, Like we can actually process it through.
It doesn't take that long and it just almost like releases, it dissipates, our body goes back into like a rest and digest place, we feel more calm, we feel more energized, and we just have more energy because it takes so much energy for our brain to be in high alert, for our brain to be in fight or flight, for our brain to be like looking around scanning for danger, like something's gonna happen, something's gonna happen.
When we feel anxiety like it uses so much energy getting ready to run away from a threat, or run towards a threat, or fight a threat, or like people please. So. That uses way more energy when we can process that through and let the feeling dissipate and be present with our feelings and like process them through.
It releases so much energy and there's so much more energy to put into like, okay, cool. Now, what do I want to create? Rather than being stuck in like the problem or something that's happened in the past or like over stuff again and again, [00:33:00] that has been, that is just like such a powerful tool. Again, something that I teach my clients is like how to actually process your feelings, how to not run away from feelings, how to be present with them, any feeling I'm like.
not feel that it's something good or bad, but actually that's something totally neutral and just really be present with that. That one's been huge. Number 15, choosing intentional thoughts that make me feel good. So again, it's knowing that like my brain might have a story about something it might want to go some way, but actually deciding on purpose, like what do I want to believe?
What do I choose to believe? And whether it's like listening to affirmations, writing it out, putting on post it notes, like I choose on purpose, okay, I'm going to believe these things. And it's amazing. Like, The more at first they feel they're like, they're not quite there and then they'll just something will happen and it will just, that thought will like pop into your brain automatically and you'll feel so calm about a situation.
Like, you know, I used to do a lot like, oh I'm not here yet, I'm not here yet, I'm behind. And then, for example, one thought that I have practiced and that I now [00:34:00] come back to is like, I am exactly where I'm meant to be. Like, that feels so grounding and calming for me, and I believe that. And whenever I'm like, oh, but this, oh, but this, it's like, that pops up.
It almost like, that is a belief now, that that bubbles up. And I'm like, because I've practiced it so many times, I'm like, Oh, okay. No, I'm exactly where I need to be. It just calms me down and then I can like focus on where I'm going next. So that has been so powerful for again, shifting my energy and just helping me feel more energized.
It's like, what do I want to believe? What's going to make me feel energized? What's gonna make me feel amazing that I want to believe because I get to choose to believe everything I want. And then I practice that on purpose. And the final one, number 16 is. Being kind to myself. Again, maybe this one should have gone up at the front with gratitude is like, like when we, when something has happened and we add judgment on top and we are beating ourselves up and it just adds shame and guilt and like heaviness and judgment on top.
Again, we're [00:35:00] stuck in these heavy emotions and it's like so much energy is consumed mentally going round and round and over and over again when we're beating ourselves up. We can actually practice being kind to ourselves. We're just not even adding that later on. So it's like the thing that happened, we can process it through, we can learn from it, we can be present with it and feel it and all the feelings and be like, oh, and then we can just like, let it go and learn from it and move forward.
And so like the kinder that we can be to ourselves, the easier it is. And that just gives me so much more energy is just like not beating myself up, just being like, okay. And again, I sometimes beat myself up and I can catch it. Not all the time, but I often can, but like, being kind to myself gives me so much energy.
So those are some of the things that energize me. There's loads more, I'm sure, but there's 16. And just thinking like, again, we're coming into December, into like, holidays, into family time, into busyness, potentially, again, you can decide and you can always opt out and say no, but just tuning into what energizes you and [00:36:00] how can you like, Maybe pick one of those from that list.
Or is there something else that really energizes you? Go and play with it. Go and like, build it in, practice it over December, and then like, pick another one and play with it, and just build it in and like, build them in as habits as well. So, hope that was helpful, and I hope you have an amazing rest of the day, which is my birthday, if you're listening to this in real time, and an amazing weekend, and I'll catch you next time.
Okay, bye!
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you want to take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys. And I'll see you next time in the Scary Goals Club. [00:37:00]
