[00:00:00] Hi, and welcome to the Scary Goals Club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson, and I believe that to make the impact that you know you are called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we are diving into with mindset tools.
Tricks. Really simple, practical, actionable steps you can take and start applying straight away. 'cause whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact, you know you wanna make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear.
That is what we do in the Scary Goals Club. So come on in, come join, hit subscribe, and let's get started.
Hi, and welcome to the Scary Girls Club podcast. I'm your host, Hazel Robertson, and I hope you're having an amazing day as you listen to this. Whatever you're doing, whether you're on a walk on a run. [00:01:00] Flying down in your bed. I don't know what you're doing, where you listen to what the podcast, let me know.
I know where some people listen to it, but yeah, I'd be interested. Is it somewhere random that you listen to this podcast and wherever you are in the world, it's so fun and I have just, oh, I've had such an amazing, I've amazing last few days, like hanging out with my son and. Like on this podcast we talk a lot about, or I talk a lot about like scary goals and it's like, you know, going after the life that we want and like doing the things that scare us and like showing up and like that is Yes.
Part of it. And like, that's what allows us to step into who we want to be and show up how we wanna be and like create the changes in our life that we truly want. That like we know lights is up and like go after these. And also like, part of all of that is just. Enjoying the journey, enjoying the process, enjoying the, the tiny micro moments.
I dunno, if you have a gratitude [00:02:00] practice. If not, I highly recommend it. our brain won't automatically go to everything we haven't done yet. What we haven't got yet, the thing we're working towards. And often it can snap us away from being really present. And like when you can ground yourself with.
That is right in front of you. What is amazing? Like the smallest, tiniest little things that just sit with you at the end of the day. I dunno if you ever, again, I do this with my son. It's a really fun practice as well that you can take is like at the end of the day as you're like closing your eyes, going to sleep is just like running through all the amazing bits of the day.
Like what were the highlights? What were, and we sometimes do this at the dinner table as well, which is is also really fun practice as well is like, what were some of your best bits today? Like, why were they so amazing and so powerful? And usually, like, what I always find is the, the bits that stick in my mind the most are either.
Something about nature, because nature for me is like, it's like infinite. It's unpredictable in some ways. Like [00:03:00] we, you don't, whenever I go out for like a walk or a run or a cycle or like a swim or wherever it is. There's always gonna be something I see that's different. Even if I go on the same trail, even if I go the same places.
Like there's always a new, especially with like a 2-year-old, it's like there's always a new log to climb on or like a wood louse to find, or like all of these when you get like right down into the tiniest little things or you know, to a new tree and it's like, wow, I didn't know that one was there and I've walked this path like so many times and just.
Every time there's always something different. So nature is like a big one for me. And then the other one that's big for me is like moments of connection. So whether that is connection with myself where I feel really connected and really like energized with a mission and with something that I'm focusing on or connecting with someone else, whether it's like with clients, whether it's with my son in that moment, my dog with Luke, whether it's with like family and friends or whether it's like.
Just random people [00:04:00] or like people in the community that we meet, which is also really fun. Something where we do whenever we're out and about is just like, and I think having a dog and a kid like you just chat and strike up conversations with people that you may never meet again or they're passing through or it's like, oh, what's your or neighbors that you see like out and about and just having these like conversations that.
Our spur of the moment, you could never have predicted. And it's like you can learn something from that person. You feel connected, you feel part of like the place, especially for us because we moved here like a year and a half ago and it's like really feeling connected to that place. And I think just the more that you can like imagine what some of these moments are and like go through them at the end of the day, the more it's easier to, to notice like, oh, these, these are the bits that make life.
A life or like these are the bits, or like, you know, a moment where you didn't wanna do something and you felt all this resistance, and you felt all this fear and this hesitation, even though ultimately you wanted to [00:05:00] do it. And then you got the courage, you generated the courage, you stepped into who you wanted to be, and you did the thing anyway, and you leaned into that fear.
And we will talk about that with today's episode on perfectionism. Like those are the moments. It's like you're overcoming something yourself. Well, for me anyway, overcoming something in myself doing like stepping out of what feels comfortable, going somewhere new, connecting with nature, connecting with myself, connecting with other people, playing like anything, it's like as we work towards these bigger goals, these are the moments that, again, it's like every single moment of our life like that makes up our life.
So it's like. How can you bring in more moments of joy, of fun, of playfulness, of just stepping out into nature? Like sometimes I'll go out and there's trees in the back garden and I will just stare up at the trees and just watch them sway in the wind and just connect and be like, wow, these trees are so old.
[00:06:00] They've been here for so much longer than me. And just have that connection with something else.
And. There were so many amazing things that happened just over the last few days, and even one of them just being so grateful for where we live. There's amazing cycle routes. Like into town you can cycle on this old railway line along the river and the river's all sparkly in the sun.
And we went into the library, which also just the library was so magical for me as a kid going in and like all of these books that you can read and all this transportation to these other worlds and like imagination. And just being able to go in, hang out, read books, be like, this is all free. How amazing is that?
Like just, this is so cool that we have access to these. And then on the way in and the way back, there's this amazing community garden and it's just off the road. So it's a bit more secluded and tucked away and surrounded by these big pine trees. And it's such a sun trap. And there's these massive big, like raised beds and.
All of the [00:07:00] herbs and the flowers are out just lavender and bees buzzing and rosemary, like the smell of the rosemary that was mint bursting out like all these different types of mint bursting out in one corner and so many strawberries. It was amazing. And they were so big and they were so ripe and so juicy, and we must have eaten.
Almost a box or maybe more of strawberries each. We didn't have a box, but that equivalent, just finding them and eat them. And then at one point I said, okay, maybe let's, we'll pause there 'cause we wanna make sure that other people get some as well. 'cause it's a community garden. And then looked around and was like, oh wait, no.
They go all the way around these beds all the way around, these beds all the way around the corner. There was so many of them and raspberry's about to come out. It just felt like. Such a gift. How amazing is this to be able to cycle along, like off the [00:08:00] roads? My son on the back of the bike, eat these strawberries that are amazingly ripe and they're just there and just be a human soaking in the sun smelling the lavender and the rosemary and the smell of that hot sweet pine.
it just smelled that like. Woody, earthy, summery kind of Mediterranean smell almost. And just eating these strawberries, it's like life is so good right now. and that has just carried with me.
Into today
So yeah, just feeling so much gratitude and so much awe and wonder at nature at the moment with. Just summer and the flowers and the bees and all this fruit coming out and the brambles, like the flowers are starting to go on. Then we'll be able to pick them soon. And the raspberries are, are like kinda greeny at the moment, but they're gonna come out like all the wild raspberries and it's just such a magical time to be [00:09:00] able to go out and forage for fruit
I mean, it's so good. Anyway, a slight tangent, but. Just even thinking for you, How can, like what simple things can you appreciate or can you go stand barefoot outside somewhere, look up a, a tree and just, just watch it blow in the wind
Anyway. Back to today's episode. So if you are still with me, I wanna talk about perfectionism and three steps, I guess like three steps that I find really helpful my clients find helpful to be able to move through it.
So perfectionism this might look like and see if any of these resonate. It could be waiting for the perfect quote unquote, I'm gonna put it imperfect. Perfect in quotes. Okay. When I say perfect, there is no perfect. Like there literally is no perfect. It's this made up thing that we don't even really know what it actually looks like, so we can never achieve it.
We [00:10:00] don't have a clear image of like what perfect is. It's always evolving. There's always more it could be. So we never actually get there. There is no perfect anyway, so. One of the ways it shows up is waiting for the perfect conditions to start. That could be, oh, I'll wait until after this.
Then I'll make a start on the thing. Even though you know you really want to do it and you know it's something that's important, it's like, I'll wait till after lunch, then I'll. Open that email that I know is important, but I've been kind of avoiding, or, okay, I'll wait till this project's out the way, then I'll start thinking about this other bigger proposal or whatever that thing is.
Or I'll wait until it's like we put these arbitrary, or our mind puts these arbitrary points in time or conditions before we can start. Might be like, oh, well I can't start yet until. [00:11:00] The, my desk is tidy and, and, and some of these things do make an impact. Like if your environment is tidier, for sure, that can help with like focus and stuff.
But it might be like, no, it has everything has to be exactly like this. Then I can sit down and do the thing rather than just like, you know, if you're really into something, you literally can sit down. I've done it sometimes I like, haven't showered. There's stuff like papers and notes and things like everywhere and I just sit down and I'm like, I have to just get this out.
Or like, it just like. Needs to pour out of me, or I get these people, I scribble stuff out. I'm not looking at what's around me, just, I'm just like, oh, this thing needs to come out when we're in perfectionism mode. It's the opposite. It's like, no, no. Once I have everything neatly lined up as in like once everything's lovely, then I'll feel motivated.
Then I'll want to start, or like I spoke about a few episodes ago, was the, like first, it was like a replay of the first episode I ever did, which was the start before you're ready. Where I talked about the perfect conditions that my brain had [00:12:00] for doing the podcast was like, well, I'll wait till I get my hair done.
I'll wait till I buy a podcasting mic. I'll wait till I rearrange my like background so it looks a bit fancier, or whatever. All of these were excuses to have. Again, it's like these imaginary, perfect conditions that somehow, once these external things have changed, will change and feel different internally.
And it's not how it works. So perfectionism is an inside job. Okay, we'll get onto that. It could also be, so this might come up like in a work sense of like finding a perfect thing. So we can almost get into like high fixating on tiny, tiny micro details that lit literally no one else would notice. But suddenly they feel like these really big things, and so we spend a lot of time and energy on them.
Like ones that I used to do, for example, would be on like the thesaurus.com being like, oh, I have to, as I was writing a report. [00:13:00] Midway through, be like, oh, okay, not this word. I'm gonna use another word. And like into the source.com, like getting the perfect word. Oh wait, no, this or this on, on text. That like literally someone else could review and be like, we don't need this paragraph.
And I've spent like five minutes on one word being like, oh, what synonym is best to put in? Or if you've ever done, maybe you've done this one yourself of like you're going into a meeting or presentation or like there's something. And you're like moving and lining up like the words on a slide and like changing color schemes on things like, like getting right down into detail that that probably, if you were really, really honest with yourself doesn't actually matter.
It's almost detracting from the bigger thing. It's like a way to keep busy. The other thing we can do with coming back to like waiting for the perfect conditions to start means that we put the thing off and then often what can happen when we. Have perfectionistic tendencies or, or we go through that is like we wait for these [00:14:00] per perfect conditions to start.
So we delay starting the thing. Then it becomes this bigger thing becomes this bigger thing. So we're almost like kind of procrastinating on it. Then it's this like, oh no, I have to do it. And then it becomes this mad panic rush and like, yes, we might get it done, but again, we're doing it from. Our survival fear-based part of our brain rather than like all the creativity and giving us time to like really think about it and really like make it something that's gonna be really powerful.
Okay. I just had to take a little pause there. I was suddenly like, I'm so hungry. I spotted a bar, naked bar. I dunno if you ever have them. They're so yummy. The peanut ones, they're good. Anyway, I spotted. A bit of it left and I was like, I have to eat this right now, drink some water.
And I thought, you're not gonna want me munching away on a naked bar. You can just now have me picking the bits of peanut and the bits of dates or whatever else is in it out of my teeth. Okay, so there you go. So with all of these things, [00:15:00] perfectionism basically comes up as like. You are either delaying, starting something, so like a kind of procrastination or you're delaying completing something.
Also, a kind of procrastination. Perfectionism is basically like a form of procrastination of put and, and procrastination is like putting off something that we know ultimately we wanna do or we know is actually good for us. We're just putting the thing off. And. The reason that we do it is the same.
There is usually some kind of fear. Okay. So where it comes up from and, and if you think like, so a lot of people, and this used to be me, I used to be like so proud of myself and like I'm a perfectionist thinking. I remember in interviews they're like, what is your, I dunno, weaknesses or whatever. Be like, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but it means I have great attention to detail and I'll get the job done really well.
Um, actually I don't see it as a strength now because, and, and I used to be like, oh, I'm a perfectionist. As in, it was like [00:16:00] a good thing actually when you zoomed in. If there was like a camera watching me get a report done. And again, the reports that I was working on when I was in consulting were like going to government ending up in the public domain.
So there was an extra level of like, other people are gonna read this stuff and comment on it and make decisions based on it. Like there's an element of that. Uh, for sure. However, it would still be like, I'm this perfectionist, like in panic, stress, fear, and just such a deep fear of making a mistake, such a deep fear.
And basically if you think, if you call yourself a perfectionist, I just wanna offer you to drop that label. Okay? Because when we. Have an identity around something, it makes it very hard to change it. For example, I am is like an identity. I am, I am a perfectionist. It becomes this identity that then is, is a lot harder to change because [00:17:00] again, our brain's like, oh, I'm just, I'm a perfectionist.
This is just how I am. Rather than like, if you think of it instead, I am a human with a scared brain. Scared of making some kind of mistake, scared of someone giving feedback that I didn't wanna hear, scared of someone commenting, like whatever the fear is. So if you think instead of perfectionism and someone being a perfectionist,
they've got a scared brain and it comes up. So if you think like a lot of these. Actions that we take, characteristics that we do, behaviors that we do. They come up a lot from childhood. So maybe, and this was definitely me, I did very well.
I was like the overachiever did very well academically, like was pretty good. Anything I tried, I was like good at. And so I got praised for doing very well at stuff. And again, when we get taught through like the school system and the academic system is. Do these things, get an A, this [00:18:00] is good. Then you get praised.
Don't get an F, don't make mistakes, don't fail. You know, it's like mistakes are like red penned and pointed out and it's like, oh no. And what we begin to do, not even consciously, is we start to attach our worthiness as a human and as as a person with some kind of output that we produce, so our worth.
It's like, I am good enough if I get all these things right. Because we've been praised. It feels safe. It feels good to our body. Someone has said, you've done really well at this, you're amazing at this. And then we feel really good. It's like, oh, I'm safe. I'm loved when I do well, when I don't make mistakes.
Or maybe mistakes have been pointed out, we've got into trouble. Like then it can work the opposite way. And so we can often then attach, okay, my worthiness is de determined by what I produce. If someone else says, it's good if I don't make mistakes, all of these things. And so we, [00:19:00] like perfectionism almost becomes this way to try and control what other people think about us, what other people say about us, how we are perceived.
And how we perceive ourselves. It's like if I can just get everything right and like not make any mistakes, then I get to think I'm good enough. Because then other people will think I'm good enough and other people will say, I've done a good job. Rather than realizing, and this is like literally this is the work.
You are infinitely. I am infinitely. We are all infinitely worthy exactly as we are. That's not determined by what we do or don't do. And then there's stuff that we do, they're separate. What we do, what we produce, what we don't do that doesn't determine our worthiness. We are enough as we are and we go do some stuff or we don't do some stuff or we make mistakes or we don't make mistakes.
Like it's like that's a separate thing. There's like us and our worthiness on our deep amazingness as a person and as a human. Like we are enough just for existing and being as we are, and then we go do some [00:20:00] stuff. So it's like when you can separate that out, then it becomes easier to to think. Okay. I could create something or put something out in the world or share something with someone that maybe, I don't know what the answers to, maybe I haven't got everything perfectly lined up.
Maybe it doesn't need to be. And maybe in the interest of the bigger thing that we're working towards, sharing ideas and co-creating on something and having more iterative process is the way this works. And. It's, it's a journey. Like it really is. There's, it's so vulnerable to be able to share something with someone else.
Put something out that is human that maybe has a mistake in it, that maybe has a typo that maybe isn't quote unquote perfect and know that you are still enough and that you are still okay. And actually the. People like, it's like, and, [00:21:00] and I, I sometimes get into this and I can just, 'cause this is like, can be my tendency even with the podcasting.
I shared this on the imposter syndrome episode is like, I remember when I first started doing like Instagram and all those things, if I made messed up or like made a mistake on something, I literally just like wanted to curl on the ball. And then it's got to the point where I'm like, no, that is just me being a human.
And we all make mistakes. We all mess things up. We all go off on tangents and forget something and have ideas that are, we're still figuring out. And we can learn things from other people. And the more that we can show up as us as real, as vulnerable, as open, as on, as honest, it gives others permission to do the same.
and it's, it's scary and it's vulnerable to be able to share something that you're still working on or that isn't perfect to get people's ideas, but like when you can do that. One thing I have [00:22:00] realized, and again, I've done this, I've like leaned into this more probably since the my coaching journey.
'cause it's like I can't be perfect with everything. I cannot, like if I. Agonize over every word in like a post or a podcast or a, something like it's me. I would nothing done, like nothing would be produced and go out into the world. And I'm sure if my podcasts were really like rigid and scripted and I didn't go off on tangents, I didn't do this, it they'd be so boring as well.
Like that's the other thing is like. There is no perfect. And when we're striving for that, we're almost like dividing ourselves from being humans and showing up as we are and being like, this is real life and we're trying to just all show up, do the best we can, make an amazing impact in the world. And sometimes that process is gonna be messy and sometimes we're gonna miss things and sometimes we're gonna make typos.
But like, rather than getting hung up in these tiny things, it's like when we can zoom out to the bigger picture, it's so much easier to just like. [00:23:00] Let that go and be like, okay, let's do this. And yeah, and I was just, I was just looking, this few things scribbled down, but like, because perfectionism and like when we're showing up in that way, it's so fear-based.
It ke it also keeps us in our head when we're trying to get everything perfect. We're not really there. We're not really present. We're so overthinking, we're so like worried about what someone else might think or how it might be. We don't have our creative ideas. We're kind of keeping ourselves small because it's like, well, if I do something I may have never done before and I make a mistake, or I fail, or I don't do it right, or I get it wrong, oh, how do I like handle it?
And so like we just end up having these small. Boring lives where it's like the same things happen and we're not challenging ourself and we're not showing up as who we really are. And we know that we could, and we're just like, Ugh. And it just feels [00:24:00] rubbish. And again, going back to like what I was saying at the start where it's like the moments where we look through, like when I like look through my days, I'm like, the bits, I'm like, Ugh, I didn't wanna do that thing even though I knew I wanted to, but I did it anyway.
Like I think of that and I'm like, yes, it feels so good. Like. When the fear is there, when we wanna hesitate, when we don't wanna look at the document, when we don't wanna start it, when we want to put it off, when we want to like polish something, but instead we just press send, press publish, put it out into the world.
Even though we're like, oh, it feels amazing because it, it requires us to tap into something bigger than ourselves. It requires us to like step up and generate courage and be like. Like, I'm gonna show up anyway even though I don't want to. I'm gonna do this thing even though it feels really scary and I'm gonna be kind to myself and I'm gonna take care of myself anyway.
So just also knowing with all of this, like whenever there's some resistance to doing something, you wanna put something off, you want to polish, you wanna like over research and overanalyze and like get things the [00:25:00] perfect way before actually doing them. When you can catch that and be like, wait, this is not what we're doing.
And then do the thing anyway. You feel so freaking proud of yourself. It feels amazing. And then that again is like you're proving to yourself, oh, I'm the person who can put stuff out that's a bit more free flowing. Or a bit like putting my ideas down and sharing them or asking someone for their input.
Even though normally I just hide and complete the thing and then send it to them for a review, but actually having chats along the way, whatever the thing is, that's like more from a work sense. When you can actually do that and show your brain like you're not gonna die, everything's okay. You become that person where perfectionism just, it's not much of a thing anymore.
I mean, it still comes up and you can still catch it, but like you can notice it and, and just move through it. And the thing you like that's on the other side of it is you are not scared, you're not hiding, you're not like when you're in. And for me it's like when I was in that place. And I think back certainly like [00:26:00] when I was in consulting, so scared of making mistakes and like messing things up.
Not the like last year or so of it, but like before that I just didn't feel like I was like truly living. It was like I was staying small. I was like, I know there is more I capacity for, but like. I was all consumed with the fear, all consumed with worrying about how it would be perceived, having to make everything perfect, having to have everything dah, dah, dah, like visually perfect.
That took so much mental energy, so much time, so much just emotional energy, like all of it. I didn't have capacity for other stuff. I didn't have capacity for like creating this other thing or coming up with ideas to do this or that. It was like. I have to get this report looking perfect. And it's like, it's not taking away from like, of course you want stuff to be of a high standard and to feel thought about and like, well, it's not just like about rushing stuff that it, it [00:27:00] is like sometimes our brain can be like, well, if it's not perfectionism then it's just gonna be a mess.
It's not what I'm talking about at all. It's like, it's just dropping back from the need to grip so tightly to stuff that I promise you no one else will see. Or even notice, that actually doesn't even make a, a big difference at all. Like if they're looking for like the takeaway message from a report or something, and like one diagram, and then you're like, but I've got all my, this, this, this, and this lovely word and chapter three and like, oh, it's this perfect word.
And they like have skimmed it and taken the key message and a diagram. They're like, cool. That's great. It's like, did you need that perfect word? And I'm saying this, not to call you out, but like, this is me. This has been me and. I can still notice myself wanting to get into that and being like, oh, I see what's happening here, and be able to pull myself back.
So with all that to be said, I just wanna offer like three things that can be really helpful. One of them is [00:28:00] like a phrase, a mantra, a thought that I keep in my head that honestly helps me so much. That's number three.
Okay. So the first one, so this is like, if you notice, if this resonates and you're like, oh, I do these things, it's all good. Okay. We all do that. Is just understanding why you might be doing that. There's some fear there and you can even be curious what the fear is. But like the first step with all of this is just acknowledging that it's fear.
Just being like, oh, okay. Hi fear, and it's like, I imagine almost like taking its hand, giving myself a little hug, like there's some version of you inside from when you were a kid or like something that's happened in your past where maybe you were criticized for making a mistake, maybe you got feedback at work that you missed something and.
So, so now it's like I can't miss anything. I have to like go into all the detail with it, like whatever it is, there'll be some, like your brain and your body are so smart and [00:29:00] it's trying to protect you. There's some reason that the perfectionist behaviors are coming up because your brain's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
If we just like spend time trying to control everything, not make any mistakes, if we don't start it now, because what if we make a mistake? It's like. It keeps you playing small. It keeps you doing the familiar, it keeps you like not getting judged by other people, not feeling like you're stepping out there and like it feels very safe to our brain.
It might not be you living to your fullest potential and like feeling like everything's flowing and you're like changing the world and using your gifts in the most amazing way you might be like bad and getting bogged down in this tiny thing from literally no one is ever, ever going to notice. No one cares.
And you know that's not how you want to be living. And you know that's not where your attention and energy best lies, but you're still there because your brain is smart and it wants to keep you there. 'cause it's less scary than going into the unknown and doing things you've not done before. And like putting something out into the world, it's very easy to like write something.
It's very scary to press [00:30:00] publish on something. I find that with the podcast all the time, it's very hard for me sometimes. Like today it was like, oh, I don't wanna stand up and talk, oh, blah blah, like all this stuff. And then I stand up and talk, and then I edit it. And then when I'm like uploading it and I'm like, oh, maybe I'll just not put it out into the world again because I'm like, and again, it can be like, oh, I didn't follow this structure.
I didn't follow this da. It's like it, it is enough. I just decide it's enough and I put it up anyway. So the first is like being present with the fear and just acknowledging it and being like, I'm feeling scared and it's okay. It's okay to feel scared. It just means you're at the edge of doing something new.
The edge of what you're used to, what's familiar, like that's all that it means. Okay. So the second thing, so this is really helpful and, and especially I'm thinking of this maybe more from like a work sense, but I guess it could be with your goals as well, is what is the purpose of what you're doing?
Because again, I find, I [00:31:00] find this with clients where it's like they're putting something off, putting something off and like avoiding it and there's all this perfectionism stuff and it's like. They're almost imagining like the a, a final draft of something that's like going into the public domain, for example.
And they're imagining that at the start, and it's like, I have to get everything right right now. And it's like, but you're six steps away from that. Like all the steps of like writing it, then reviewing and editing it, then sending it to your team, and then getting the comments, and then updating the comments and then dah, dah, dah.
And then having whatever stakeholders or the board. Like to have their feedback and then editing that, then putting it out into the public domain or whatever that is. And it's like oftentimes we can, our brain will go to like the final thing and the worst case. And it's useful to think of the final thing for sure, but like what is the purpose of the thing you're doing right now?
Because again, this can [00:32:00] really help you when you're clearing the purpose. This can help you not, and again, I've done this, clients have done this where it's like, there's some meeting and it's like getting these perfect slides together, and then it's like, what's the purpose of the meeting? It's like, well, there's three internal people from the team and we're basically all putting ideas down to then decide the next steps for this thing.
And it's like. It could literally just be words on a slide. It doesn't have to have like a graphic and a flow diagram and like, Ooh, the color scheme will match the project and this and this. Like I have done all of this where it's like the slides. I spend half a day on the slides and it's like, it literally could have taken me getting my ideas.
Maybe it didn't even need slides, maybe it needed a Google Doc or Word doc or whatever with like, this is what I think, this is the next steps, da dah, dah, and then you discuss it. So it's like if the, if the purpose is a discussion or like something internal or is to check in if you're going in the right direction, or if it should be this or this, like whatever that is, [00:33:00] what is the purpose of the thing you're about to do?
Like the, the next step of it, not the final bit. What was the purpose of the next step? And that will also help you be like, oh wait, maybe it doesn't need to be this like super fancy, really polished, lovely thing. Maybe the final ones would be, and that's okay. But like if you're not there right now, you can save so much time and energy just being like, this is actually enough.
If it's to share ideas, get other people's input. Bullets are maybe enough. You know, it's like it, it's like how can you just simplify and reduce the time and the energy? So it's like what? So the first one is like being present with the fear, giving yourself a hug, acknowledging it, being like, it's okay.
And the second one is get really, really clear. What is the purpose of, not the bigger thing, but like the next step of the thing that you're doing. And then the third one, this is the thing that I always keep in my mind and is so helpful because again. My brain wants to [00:34:00] get into all of the detail of something.
All of right now, and I remember this from like, this goes back to I was in the loft a few months ago. My parents loft looking through, they'd saved some like old schoolwork and I was looking through this story from. I dunno how old I could write and I could write a story. So I can't think what age I would've been, but definitely like primary school.
And I started reading the story and I was like, Ooh, I remember writing this and I could like see it in my mind. And I was like, it's so gripping. And then I read and it was only like three pages, read the next page and it was like the, the buildup and the suspense and all this. And then literally it was like dah, dah, dah, dah.
And then this thing happened. Pretty much the feedback was like. Great start, great intro, like kind of ran outta steam or something like that. And again, this was the, [00:35:00] this was very typical and I can do this if I am not careful with any project I start, if I don't think about what the purpose is and like do this next thing, which is focus on the first draft first.
Okay. So first draft first, the way I think about it is like. If it's the first draft of something, maybe it's like a report, a document, an outline, a presentation, a podcast or whatever, like social media post. Focus on getting a first draft first, get it complete, and what it does when you focus on like first draft first.
It keeps you moving. It keeps you just getting the words out. Even if you'd love to go into the thesaurus.com and pick another one, I don't know. Do people use the thesaurus.com anymore? That was from like quite a few years ago now. Maybe. Maybe people use chat. GPT, I don't really know. Anyway. Or maybe it comes up with synonyms now that you can like put, but anyway, picking other words, rather than getting hung up [00:36:00] on like individual words, it's like, get the ideas out, get the flow out, get the thing done.
Then you can go back and edit and tweak and like polish and do all those things. So first, draft first is like, what I didn't do with this story, which was trying to get a full first draft. I was so into the detail and the this, and then this of the first opening scene and what happened and then was like, oh, it's supposed to be a three page story.
Cool. I'll just end it now. And, and I've done this with reports as well, where it's like. The first bit in the context setting is this. I'm like, I'm not sure about being able to now do this, like for every single like chapter as well, or with social media posts, like can get so into like dah, dah, dah, and is it this and is it this and da dah.
And then I'm like, oh, that wasn't kind of really the point and now I've kinda lost steam a little bit. And it's just like. We can get so into when we get, and again, this is why it can take so long to then do something because we've put [00:37:00] all of our like energy onto something that doesn't need done right now, which is like getting the the first bit really perfect.
And then we have like no energy, no capacity, maybe no time left before the deadline to get the rest of it like that. And then it becomes this mad panic. So instead when you can focus on first draft first, it just helps, it helps me anyway, just like. Keep writing, keep flowing, like have an outline, be like, have an outline of like, okay, what is the first draft?
Rather than getting like just stuck into it, it's like, okay, here's an outline. Let's just go, let's do a bit of this, a bit of this, a bit of this, a bit of this, a bit of this, and then it's like complete. So you could, and the amazing thing about first draft, first, you could send it to someone else for their input, or you could press publish or you could send it out into the world or whatever it is.
Or you also could go back through and then review the whole thing and edit it and it just saves so much time, so much [00:38:00] energy. It's like almost like have it on a post-it note and like have it when you're like writing something that you normally get really stuck into something and then you're like, ah, I've done one bit of this whole thing first, draft first.
Just keep it. It's almost like keep it moving, keep it moving, get the ideas down, write the thing. Doesn't matter if it's perfect. You can, and it's like the thing with the first draft first is like. You can always go back and edit it later, and you will wanna go back and edit it, but almost like you've got the thing done, you can be like, I'm just gonna put it over here for one second.
Have a walk, have a sleep, leave it for a day. Then you can come back to it and it's like you can see the thing in its entirety. Your brain understands what it is in its entirety. If you send it to someone else, they can see your like first pass in its entirety. And it's like you have the idea of the whole picture in your head, so then your brain can be like, oh wait, actually I don't need this bit.
I don't need this bit. Whereas if you're just on like the, the first bit of it and like really getting bogged down in color schemes and graphs and whatever with that, you don't have that like overall [00:39:00] picture of it, of like how it's gonna be. And so your brain can't be like working away in the background being like, oh, we'll do this.
We'll do this. This will make it better. Oh wait, maybe I'll pull this bit out here. When you have that first draft, when you're working in first draft, first. It's so much easier because you have the whole of the context of the thing, and then you can always edit it. You can always polish it, but if you don't have a first draft, if you don't have something complete, you can't polish it, like you can't share it, you still have to then write it.
And knowing that like. Writing something, creating something, getting it out. Like that part is hard. It's so much easier to edit something. It's so much easier for someone else to like provide feedback on something when it already exists. And it's just being courageous with sharing it with someone, putting it out in the world, asking someone for their input, like thinking of it as an iterative process rather than like, I have to get this version here right now.
Perfect. Right now. That literally will put up a creative block. It will put up, you'll be in panic, you'll be in your own head. There'll be fear. You'll procrastinate. You won't be able to actually do it. If it's like, oh, I can totally write a first [00:40:00] draft. And, and the key thing about first draft first is like, it's a first draft.
It's not a final draft. You could have 10 iterations till it's a final draft. It doesn't matter. And it's like, it's the first draft. And when you can just focus on that, it just helps shift away so many of these blocks that we can get hung up on. And it's just like. Keep it moving, keep it moving. Let's go.
Okay, go and try out. Let me know if this is something you struggle with or this resonates at all and you've tried this out. Like let me know how you got on and I hope you have an amazing rest of the day, whatever you're up to, and amazing weekend. I'll see you next time. Bye bye.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goal making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you wanna take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note, and I put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, Ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the [00:41:00] pod, please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys, and I'll see you next time in the Scary Goals Club.
