[00:00:00] Welcome to the Scary Goals Club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson, and I believe that to make the impact that you know you were called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we are diving into with mindset, tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps you can take and start applying straight away.
Because whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you wanna make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear. That is what we do in the Scary Goals Club. So come on in, come join, hit Subscribe, and let's get started
Hi, and welcome to the Scary Girls Club podcast. You will not believe what's happened, although you might. I've literally just sat down[00:01:00]
And my baby has woken up, so I'm gonna go and get her, and then I will record the podcast. Catch you soon Okay, I am back. I've got my little baby snuggling in, having some milk. She's wondering what's going on. So you may hear some little baby noises on this podcast. But I... Anyway, how are you doing today? I have been channeling the last podcast of, okay, what is that important thing, doing that first.
I just came back from, like, a mom and baby fitness class, and she was asleep in the buggy. I was like, "Right, I could shower, or I'll just run upstairs, do this podcast that's been in my head for, like, a week," or, like, even since the last podcast. I was like, "Right, I'm just gonna run upstairs and do it," jotted down some notes, literally pressed record, and [00:02:00] she woke up.
So here we are. We're doing it a little bit differently, and she's gonna be here as well. Hi. Aw, she's so cute. She's getting so big now. I haven't really spoken about, much about, like, her arrival or anything. I think I did record those podcasts when she was proper, proper newborn, and I still haven't edited them and put them out.
But I feel maybe because I recorded them, like I've already spoken about it in some way, even though the ones I've put out into the world, I haven't really spoken about that. But I will do another full podcast on that and, like, things I have learned since she came along and maybe, like, about the birth and everything.
Not going into detail, but things I've learned. She's in this stage right now where she'll have a little bit of milk, and then she's just so distracted, like, wants to see what's going on. Right? Hello. Oh, she's so cute. Right. So we'll see if this works. If not, I will try again and record it when [00:03:00] she's actually asleep for a longer period of time.
So today, I wanted to talk about something that came up immediately after recording last time's podcast. I wanna say last week's, but I think it was a few weeks ago now. And it was when I was listening to it back. I'd edited it, published it, and then I listened to it again in the headphones, which I used to do when I first started the podcast.
I would listen to the episodes and, and imagine, Are there any things I'd wanna do differently? Like, I'd listen back thinking about what I could learn, what I could tweak for the next one.
And all I could think about when I was listening back was how rushed I felt, and it felt like I was, and I know I was 'cause again, I was on this, like, window of opportunity, like, "Okay, now is the time to record. Go, go, go." How rushed it felt, how- [00:04:00] I was jumping all over the place, how I kept saying "like" all the time, and just it- like, I was there having, having the conversation, but it just didn't feel like how I imagined myself showing up and podcasting.
And I felt this like, oh, this deep almost like embarrassment, almost like shame. Like, oh, I've been doing this for like a year and a bit now, or is that like two years now? I should be better at this. Like, all of those judgments were coming up. And then I managed to catch it, and I managed to not give myself a hard time And then I remembered, okay, look, I've not done this for a few months, and this was my first one back.
And they're, they're gonna get easier and more fluid and better from here on. Oh, there she goes. But, like, the first one back is always gonna be a bit clunky, and I think... A- [00:05:00] a- and the key thing that I t- I, that came out of it was like, I did it. I showed up. It was messy. It wasn't, quote-unquote, "perfect and polished," and that is just my life at the moment.
Like, things are not perfect and polished. That's my life anyways, especially with this cute little one. She's making all these cute noises So life is not polished and I showed up and did the thing And it reminded me just this-- you might find this in your life as well, where especially when you've been good at something and something is easy and something feels easy, and then you try something new or you haven't done something for a while and you try it again, like getting back into running, getting back into routine or exercise, getting back into podcasting, whatever the thing is, getting back into posting on social media, like that's a big one for me.
It can feel really clunky, and we can get in our heads wanting the thing that we put out to be polished and perfect and like [00:06:00] this amazing version of whatever it is. And it can also, especially when we're used to being good at stuff, when we're not in some way, it's almost like we don't want to do the thing.
Like, I was almost like, "Oh, why did I put it out? Maybe I just won't do any more podcasting." Like, ugh. It's almost like not wanting to suck and be bad, and it to be messy, and it to be scrappy before it gets good. And I think this is something I know I can fall into this trap of like, again, I'm doing this at the moment, so I need to take my own, own advice.
If the video's shaking by the way, it's 'cause she's like rapping the table. My own advice for social media is like, I overthink it so much of like, "Oh, I could put this," but like it's not perfect and it's not polished and it'll be rushed and it's this and... So I just don't. I almost overthink the thing rather than actually just doing the thing, doing it messy, doing it scared, showing up anyway, and knowing that [00:07:00] the way that we get better at something, the way that things improve is by actually doing it, by getting the reps in.
Hang on. Okay, here we go. Also, I just realized, there we go, another one to add. The camera is so unfocused, but we're good. I think we're good. Okay. So it reminded me, I've got the name of it, but there was this amazing experiment, and this is something that I often share with my clients, especially when they're starting out doing something new, practicing something, working towards some goal where they maybe haven't done it before and they're doing something that's new and it feels, everything feels a bit clunky and they're like, "Oh, I can't do it.
Oh, I want it to be really good," is... I think she's giggling 'cause she can see, she can see my video like on the screen. Can you see me in the screen? Would that be funny? And there was this photography professor at the University of Florida, Jerry Uelsmann. There we go. I got his name. [00:08:00] And he split his photography students into two groups.
So there was-- He just ran this, this experiment. He-- There was one group were gonna be graded on quantity. So for example, if they took 100 photos they would get an A, if they took 90 photos they got a B. Like getting the reps in, doing the photos, like that was- The grade, that was the output, that was what was being measured, was just do the reps.
Don't worry about, like, anything else, just get the reps in. And the second group, they were being graded on, like, having this perfect, this, like, amazing image. That was what their goal was. One was the quantity group, getting the reps in, and the other was quality.
Like, okay, just submit one image, but it's, like, the most perfect image. And what he found was the higher quality images weren't coming from the quality group, they were coming from the quantity group because they were actually doing the thing. They were doing the photography. They were taking the [00:09:00] photo, looking at light, looking at aperture, adjusting it, looking at composition, adjusting it, redoing it.
And they were learning by getting the reps in. Reps, reps, reps, reps, reps. Learning, learning, learning, learning. And every time they were tweaking it slightly, tweaking it slightly, tweaking it slightly, and so of course, they were learning by doing, and they produced a higher quality image at the end. Whereas the quality group, because what they were being assessed on, was having a perfect image, they spent way more time theorizing.
So, okay, what would... I'll read a book. I'm like, "What would a perfect image be? What would it look like? It must have this composition. It must have this." Overthinking things, not taking photos in case it's not, like, the perfect image, and actually what they produced then was less quality. And I think of this so often.
I often forget it, but when I remember, I'm like, "Oh, it's so powerful," because often we can get into this perfectionist trap of, like, if it's not going-- Or certainly I can, and I know some of my clients can as well. Like, if [00:10:00] it's not gonna be really, really good, I'm not doing it at all. It's almost this all or nothing thinking.
And again, this is a survival part of our brain. Like, we don't wanna be judged. We don't wanna be-- It's like fear of what others think or, again, when we're used to being good at something in some other area, and suddenly we're looking not good, and we feel embarrassed, and we feel maybe that we might be separated or judged from the tribe, whether that's, like, our coworkers or our friends or our family.
and so then we just don't do the thing. And yet, to be able to be good at the thing, whatever that is, whatever the goal is we're working towards, requires being a bit rubbish and a bit average at it to start with, and then that's how we get better, is getting the reps in. And it's just such a good rem- like, this has been such a good reminder for me of that first podcast.
Like, it's okay for me, this first one back, it's okay that it was messy. It's okay that it was scrappy. It's okay that I was all over the place and jumping around because I did it. I showed [00:11:00] up. I did the thing. It didn't have to be perfect, and that was always gonna be my first podcast back after having another baby and having my daughter.
And now this is my second one, and we'll see how this one goes. When I listen back, I will learn something. Something? Yeah. We're gonna learn something together from this one, and then I'll adjust that for the next one. And it's being willing to get the reps in, to have it be messy, to still show up anyway.
And really, like, I think about this a lot with my son, where we celebrate not whether he actually does something or not, but the, the process of it, the trying, because it almost... It doesn't matter whether he does the thing or not. It's that he gave it a go. It's that he tried the new food. He tried something he'd never done before.
So actually, hang on, I'm gonna put her down. Like desperately dive.
Right. You good? There. We'll, we'll move her out. Let me get you something interesting. There we go. Ah, thank you. Oh, there[00:12:00]
we go. Right. She's good. She's playing with, playing with my jacket. I don't have any toys around me. And I'm gonna have a sip of tea.
But it's celebrating the process and not, not the outcome. It's knowing that if we do the process, if we celeb- if we celebrate and focus on just showing up and doing the thing, it d- it almost doesn't matter if it was messy, like with this podcast, if anyone listened to it, I haven't even checked. That doesn't matter.
It was the doing of the thing, the showing up, that is building that muscle that, "Okay, I've said I wanted to get back into this and doing it." Oh my God, she's making noise moving the zipper around
Well, we'll see. Here we are showing up anyway, doing the thing. And it doesn't-- like, if we focus on just showing up, keeping showing up, even when we don't really want to, even when we're a bit scared, even when we think it's gonna be messy and [00:13:00] it's not perfect, if we keep doing that, it's almost like the outcome will happen.
Like, we will get better. We will progress at things. We will move towards where it is we wanna go, and it's not about these big, grand things that we do and produce and this, like, polished, you know, for me, like, this polished podcast. It's showing up, building the muscle, doing the thing. That's how I will get better at podcasting.
And for you, it's showing up towards your goals, going for that run Publishing the post, writing the words, recording the words for the podcast. Whatever it is, it's doing the thing and letting it be messy, and not having to have this perfect polished thing, but just doing it anyway and knowing that the quality will come when you just do the quantity.
And it's-- it can be really hard, and you have to almost, like, give yourself a hug and be like, "I will love and take care of myself even [00:14:00] if..." I don't know. What's the worst that could happen if something's a bit messy? Like, if someone said to me, "Oh, your podcast was a bit sloppy, that first one back," it's like, maybe that's, like, the worst thing I would think.
That's what I thought when I listened to it. I was like, "Oh, God. Someone's gonna think I'm not professional and I can't do this, and what are you doing? You've been doing this for a few years now. Why was it so terrible?" Like, if someone genuinely said that to me, how can I, like, love myself through that and take care of myself even if, like, it doesn't-- I don't feel I'm like it's fully representative of what I am po- I, I think maybe that's it.
It's like that's where it can be hard is when for those of us who are, like, overachievers, high achievers, like we've always been really good and successful at being able to do things really well, it can be hard to think that we're not doing something as well. And for someone else to see that, it feels very vulnerable to, for someone else to witness that.
And yet, that is how we [00:15:00] learn and get better at something that we're either just getting back into or that we're learning or that is new. And so it's with all that, it's like just taking care of ourselves and saying, "I will love you and I will take care of you no matter what the outcome is." Like, almost the outcome doesn't matter, I do this again for my son and, and for myself.
It's like, you showed up. That's what matters. It doesn't matter whether it worked or not. It doesn't... Like with the podcast, doesn't matter whether anyone listened to it or not. You showed up. You did the thing. You recorded. You edited it. Fitting around being a mom of two and working all of that stuff out, you showed up and did it.
I'm celebrating that. I'm, I'm actually doing this still with like-- You can't see with 'cause of where the, the camera is still with, like, my boobs, like, basically, boobs basically hanging out. So yeah, and I'm all sweaty from running and doing exercises. But so thinking about this for you, where are you hiding away because, and not doing something because it's [00:16:00] not going to be, quote-unquote, perfect, or it's not gonna be at this, like, super high standard, where you're just not doing the thing at all?
And how- She's good. She's okay. And how could you just love yourself through the process, celebrating the doing it? What is one scary thing you could do that feels a little bit messy, that feels like you don't have it all figured out yet, and just taking that action? Because again, like back to that, the photography group, it's like you learn by doing the thing.
So rather than overthinking, if you're getting into overthinking and like, "Is it this? Is it this? Is it this?" Do something. Just do something, and that's how you will start to learn and figure out what works, what doesn't work.
So go forth, be messy. Do the thing. Do something rather than nothing, rather than overthinking, rather than overcomplicating it. Just get the reps in, be bad, be messy, be terrible at it, and love yourself through the whole thing, and [00:17:00] that's how you will be able to progress. Okay. Mwah. Sending you so much love.
Okay, I am back. This is a podcast of three parts. I am back. I have showered. I have had some food. My ba- baby is asleep I have a window window. And I just wanted to hop back on because I realized at the end of the last podcast, I was about to explain what I'm doing at the moment in terms of coaching and how to work with me, if that's something that you're interested in, because a few people have been asking, like, when am I returning to work?
How's mat leave working? And I almost forgot. So I'm back, I'm back on here before I publish this because I wanted to chat through what I'm up to at the moment and how things are going. So at the moment, I am not doing private one-on-one coaching in the way that I used to. I'm taking a break from mat leave.
I'm not on Zoom calls or anything like that. What I am doing, and [00:18:00] I've been experimenting with this, and it seems to be working, so I'm gonna continue doing it just with a small number of clients, is doing like a shorter focused effort.
At the moment, I'm doing something that I'm calling Impact Sprints, Coaching Impact Sprints. So it's 30 days, like one month, really focused on a specific goal or habit or part of a bigger goal. So say you're working towards some bigger goal, we would craft and frame, okay, what is something really specific that you could create within a month that's gonna like really shift you forwards towards that bigger goal?
If you don't have a bigger goal and you're like, "Oh, I wanna work on this thing," or like, "This thing I'm finding hard," or, "I need to figure this out," like 100% we can do that as well, So one month, really focused, really specific, and creating that by the end of the month.
I always think like 30 days is such an amazing window of time because you can [00:19:00] create and change and shift so much in 30 days, and it doesn't feel too long. It's not like, ugh, there's this thing and it's going on for years or anything like that. It's like, okay, wow, 30 days? Like what could be different by this time in a month?
Like if you really focused, if you had someone like me coaching you, pointing out your blind spots, helping you with limiting beliefs, helping you with tools doing what you know that you wanna do, the thing that's been whispering, the thing you've been putting off, the thing you're like, "Ugh, I wanna figure this out, but I don't have time.
There's all these other things going on." It's helping you actually do that thing. And then once you can do it for one thing in a month, you can do it for something else the next month, or do the next thing towards the bigger goal, whatever it is. But there's like when you actually focus down, there's so much you create in a month.
And the way I'm delivering this, so it's instead of doing, like normally I would meet my clients on Zoom- Instead, it is all being delivered at the moment for the clients I'm working with, by voice note. So they can voice note me or send text messages or [00:20:00] anything at any point throughout the week.
So it's like something comes up like, "Huh, I noticed this where I didn't do the thing," or, "I'm really struggling with this," or, "How do I do that?" Or like, "My brain's coming up with this," or, "I'm feeling a bit blah," or whatever the thing is, or sharing a win like, "Ah, this is going well, this is working." Any of that can just be captured like in the moment.
They can just fire it over in a voice note, in a message, in a photo, whatever it is, at any point. So it's like k- stuff's captured throughout the week and then on my... They're not really working days, it's the days that I am just with my daughter. So I c- when she naps, well, as you s- as you listen to, it doesn't always work like that.
But in between naps or when I'm out with her on a, for a walk, I can actually respond and coach back. So I'm then coming back with either voice notes or text-based coaching or like weaving in tools, mindset shifts, perspectives, different ways of working through and helping you figure out, okay, what is your own suite of tools and systems and processes that really work for you to [00:21:00] actually do the thing that you want to do?
So it's not about like, "Okay, this is the way you have to do things." It's like trying out different things, playing around with different things that work for you so that those goals that you actually want to create, you are working towards and you are doing and you are showing up and just like this podcast is like getting the reps in, doing the thing, practicing, being like, "Huh, this is working, this isn't," and building your own set of tools and ways of doing things that really work for you and your creative, buzzy brain and your neurodivergent brain, whatever like that is for you.
Just helping you know that when there's something that you really wanna do, but it maybe feels hard or something feels heavy, like how to actually work through that. And the way I've always found with any of the coaching I've done is Like doing it in a really practical sense. And goals are so amazing for that because they require of you to think bigger, to think beyond.
That's why I love scary goals. To think beyond, and then to get really [00:22:00] specific, especially within a 30-day period. It's like really specific. What is it you wanna be creating in 30 days? Writing it down, having it there, having it as a focus, prioritizing it, putting other priorities in different orders in other parts of your life, really focusing on something, showing up, getting the reps in, going again and again and again, and really committing that to yourself of like, "Okay, this is the area of my life I wanna change.
This is this thing I wanna create. This is part of this bigger goal I want to move towards." And then at the end of the month, you can either continue and do another part, like take the goal deeper or do another goal, or maybe you feel complete and you're like, "Right, that is, that is what I needed," and onwards.
So that's what I'm doing at the moment. It works amazingly for my clients because again, they can just message at any point. They're getting coaching more throughout the week on loads of different things as they're coming up, rather than sometimes like saving everything up till a session and then maybe you've worked through it or something's changed.
You can actually get my perspectives, my coaching, my [00:23:00] insights, tools that work for me that you can test out with you as well to actually figure out these things almost more in real time. Also, you don't have to show up for a Zoom call. You can do it out on a walk, in your pajamas, from your bed, like any-- like anything goes because it's asynchronous, because you can just fire anything over at any point, and then you'll get a response from me, and you, you'll get that on my, my couple days a week that I do that.
So it's working really well at the moment. It's fitting in with my life and my baby as well at the moment, and that's kinda where I'm at. There are some other things in the pipeline that I'm planning and experimenting with and just figuring out how that's gonna work. So I will be testing some fun new ways of working with me in more of a group setting.
I'm just figuring out exactly how that works. Again, making sure it fits with my life. Like that's the rule at the moment while I'm-- like I'm still very much on maternity leave. My daughter's like four months old. So I'm figuring out, okay, what are ways that I can [00:24:00] really help others create their goals, which I love, and help them figure out a way to build this like amazing life that works for them and work in a way that works for them.
How can I do that in a way that also works for me? So I'm kinda like living, I guess living what I coach around, is building a way to be able to do what I love and help others in a way that also works for me, and I, I just, you know, I, I keep checking in. I'm like, "Do I want to sit for an hour on Zoom, like have to be somewhere at a certain time, be dressed, be like ready to go?"
And it just doesn't, that doesn't fit in with my life at the moment in terms of like childcare, in terms of nap schedules. Like nothing is predictable enough, from week to week that I-- Because again, when I want to commit to something like that, I wanna be showing up and I wanna be fully committed.
So in terms of Zoom calls, it's a no. In terms of coaching delivered in many other ways, it's a yes. So [00:25:00] if that's something that you're like, "Ooh, that would be really fun. I'm interested to find out more," just drop me a message on Instagram or an email, or if you have my number, a text message. I don't always give out my number that much, but just get in touch with me if you want more information.
I can send that across. And that's what I'm doing at the moment. So if you're interested, get in touch and I can let you know when I have a spot coming up, and then how it all works and the practicalities of it as well. So cool. Okay. And maybe I'll do, if it's of interest, maybe I'll do an episode on like how I'm thinking about that.
That's maybe helpful in terms of you building a life that works for you and working a way that works for you. How I am thinking and the questions I'm asking myself, and the check-ins I'm having with myself at the moment to make sure that any work I'm doing actually works for me, my life, my baby, my clients.
Like it has to work with all of these things, or it's a no. And so there's lots of questions I'm asking myself, lots of checking in I'm doing with my body, making sure like, "Okay, is it [00:26:00] this? Is it this?" I'm just figuring that out at the moment. That's why I'm on a, I'm on a journey of figuring this out, and there's lots more fun things coming.
But yeah, I thought I would give you a little update. So if you're interested, get in touch, and I hope you have an amazing week ahead and an amazing rest of today. Okay. Mwah. Thanks for being on this journey with me, especially as I return like to figuring this all out and figuring what this looks like with my daughter and with two kiddos and yeah.
It's just sometimes I think these big transitions and milestones, I mean, we could do this every day in our life if we wanted to, but like, I guess big transitions and changes, and changes of identity really require us to look at ourselves and look at things differently, and really ask like, "Is this what I want?
Am I working in a way that works for me? Am I living in a way that works for me?" And that's what I'm going through a process of at the moment. It's like this huge identity shift- And this [00:27:00] re, not even rebuilding, but just redeciding. That's it. I'm in a redeciding process at the moment. How do I wanna do things?
How do I want this to be? Redeciding on everything in my life. Is this working? If not, what is it I'm wanting and that I'm moving towards? And then just taking all these, like, small little steps towards that. So yeah, if that's of interest, I can do a whole podcast on that. Okay, catch you soon. Bye. Mwah.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, and making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you wanna take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note, and I've put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, "Ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod," please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys, and I'll see you next time in the Scary Goals Club.
