[00:00:00] Welcome to the Scary Goals Club. I am your host, Hazel Robertson, and I believe that to make the impact that you know you were called to make in the world, it requires setting bigger, scarier goals, and then becoming the person who creates them. That is what I am here to show you how to do. That's what we are diving into with mindset, tools, tricks, really simple, practical, actionable steps you can take and start applying straight away.
Because whatever you believe, we have this one life that we definitely know about. Start making the impact you know you wanna make in the world. Fear is not a reason to stop. We keep going. We work through the fear. That is what we do in the Scary Goals Club. So come on in. Come join, hit Subscribe, and let's get started
Hello, and welcome to the Scary Goals Club Podcast. I'm your host, Hazel Robertson. Today, this is gonna be a short and sweet [00:01:00] podcast coming straight at you to your ears to remind you that you're not behind. To remind you that you are exactly where you need to be with your goals, with your scary goals, that there is no behind, that behind is this illusion, this made-up thing that we tell ourselves, that our brain offers us, where we think we would be a certain place, or we think that we would've done a certain number of things by a certain point.
And when we haven't, our brain can give us this story, and I have had this story for many years. It still can sneak up. I can catch it 'cause I know it's a story, and I wanna offer for you it is a story as well if you're noticing it of being behind, of thinking that you would be further along, that you would be somewhere different by this point in time.
And [00:02:00] not only is it completely untrue, but it feels rubbish. Like, when we are telling ourselves that we're behind, it feels terrible because then we feel super heavy, then we move away from the thing that we were trying to create, your goal. Like, for example, if you're telling yourself you're behind with your goal, you're not gonna w- gonna wanna show up and do things for your goal.
You're not gonna be showing up as your vibrant, sparkly, amazing version of yourself and going after your goal. Like, you're not gonna be doing that. If you're feeling behind, you're gonna be hiding, avoiding, not doing the thing. I know this is what I do, just like, "Ugh, I don't even wanna think about it," and so we don't make any progress.
If we're telling ourself that we're behind, we're not gonna be making progress towards our goal. We're gonna be doing literally anything except the actual goal, except taking those steps towards it. So I just wanna come in here and remind you that you are exactly where you need to be. When I think back, this is how I know that you're not behind.
Your [00:03:00] brain guessed, it imagined, "This is where I will be," or, "This is what I will have done by this point in time."
It doesn't just have to be with your goal. It can be with literally anything. Like you thought you would do eight things on your to-do list by the end of the day, and you've done three or whatever it is. You thought you would have done eight. There's some... It, it basically comes down to there's some gap between where you thought you would be by this moment in time and where you actually are.
So there's this gap between the best guess and the reality of like, "Okay, right now this is where things are."
I have totally lost my train of thought. Oh my goodness, I wanted to come on here and make this this, like, powerful, punchy episode, and I'm gonna, like, tell you how amazing you're doing and be like, "Keep going, keep going," and now I'm losing my train of thought. But you can come with me on my ADHD brain journey, slightly tired from two children journey, as I find the fragments of thought, [00:04:00] and I pull it back, and I get back into my swing of it, and I come back to tell you how amazing you're doing and that you are not behind.
You're exactly where you need to be.
So every single time that I have... The, the thought of being behind has snuck in, or every single time where I thought I would either have done something in a certain time, been at a certain point in my life by a certain age, like this can happen in so many different parts of our life, and I haven't been, there has always, always, always, always been something better that has come or some learning or some realization or something.
For example, even I just think with, my son, before I even had him, I had thought I would have kids a little bit earlier, and I had some fertility things. That didn't really happen how I wanted it to. [00:05:00] And I remember thinking like, "Gosh, I really thought this would have happened by now." And yet, if it had happened when it had happened, I would never have met my son.
I would never have him in my life. I would never have learned the things that I've learned from him. Like, being, quote-unquote, behind, obviously that's my brain's interpretation of it, but, like, things not happening in the way that I thought they would happen, something way better than I could have imagined has always happened.
Even when we were... I, I did a whole podcast episode on this, of manifesting our dream house, and we were going through building a house, and there was delays, and things weren't happening, and we thought we would be at wherever point by this point in time, and it wasn't. And now the house we're in is way better than the one that we were imagining and designing in so many, so many ways.
I'm trying to think of some other examples. like when I look back, and it's so much easier to do from the future or like from your moment in time right now looking back to the [00:06:00] past, even taking this night, like if your brain's stuck in the like I'm not far enough ahead, I'm behind, I haven't done these things, da da da, I thought I'd be further along, whatever that is.
If you can get to the place where you can just take a few breaths, I want you to think to the past, get the notes on your phone, get a piece of paper, and write down anything where things happened later or at like a different point than you thought they would. So there's been some like you thought you'd be here, and then it hasn't materialized in that way.
Make a note of all those things. And looking back, what was either the thing you learned or the amazingness that came out of it that you weren't able to see? What if there is some bigger, better, greater, grander thing that is gonna evolve out of this, that's gonna come out of this?
That's so much more amazing than you could imagine right now. And actually, the delay is what create- it's a delay. We [00:07:00] think it's a delay because we're imagining something that might have happened and we thought it would be a certain time, and then the time is different. Like, what if it's not even a delay, it's just this was always the timing it was going to take.
We had just imagined it was gonna be something different, so we're giving ourselves a hard time for something that was never gonna be the way that we thought it was. It was always gonna unfold this way because it was gonna be better than we could ever have imagined. It's like sometimes from our current thinking of where we are, we're imagining something, and it's almost limited.
We are more limited in our thinking of how amazing the thing could actually be. And until we go through the journey, and until we experience the goal, the manifestation, the vision, the project, whatever the thing is that we are working towards and creating, until we actually experience it in its entirety and can look back, we almost can't see how amazing it could be.
And we almost can't see the reason that, oh, of course it was gonna happen this way, because I met this person, because I had this random encounter here, because actually I evolved something, I changed something, I [00:08:00] learned something. Someone... Or like, here's the bit that I love, is like what if there is something happening behind the scenes in the universe?
Behind the scenes there is someone somewhere making a decision, doing something in their life, and it's going to magically impact you and your goal in a way that you could never imagine right now, and you don't even know what the thing is. It's gonna come out of nowhere. It's gonna be a complete surprise, and yet it's gonna change the trajectory in your li- of your life in the most amazing way.
And the delay almost has to happen in some way. Like, I think of this for our house. If we hadn't delayed, had all the delays with going through the self-build, and we had just ended up, well, having that or buying some other house, we would never... Like, the timing was perfect for this house that we're in right now becoming available, going on the market, the people there deciding they wanted to sell it.
And if things had progressed, we would never... Like, the timelines would never have aligned of these things, that we would [00:09:00] be in this house right now. And so what if that's true for you as well? That there is some... Like, the hesitation, the delay, the things not... Maybe it's you not doing the things that you know you want to do.
There's some delay in there. What if actually You're gonna look back and there, it's beautiful. Like it's, it was always meant to happen this way. There's this wonderful timing. It's not y- delay just does- doesn't feel like the right word. There's this wonderful timing flow and dance that's happening that you will be able to see in a year's time, in six months' time, in three months' time, and you'll be able to look back and go, "Oh, interesting.
I needed this thing to happen, or this person to reach out to me, or to have this idea, or to go to this random cafe and see something written on the wall," or whatever the thing is to then have that next step or have something unlock. And actually the timing has been perfect. And This can happen. We can allow ourselves [00:10:00] to dream like this and allow ourselves to see these opportunities and these opportunities to come to us and to be aware of them when they come to us, when we can let go, when we can let go of the timeframe and the timeline of how we think it's going to be and what it's gonna look like, we can kind of release it.
I imagine almost just like when I feel I'm gripping something and forcing something and, like, push, push, push, I almost imagine, sending it off to the universe and just like, "Do you know what? You deal with it. I'm just gonna send this out." Take some breaths. Drop back. Whenever we surrender, whenever we stop forcing, whenever we let go of the timelines and how we think things, quote-unquote, "should be" when they're not or they're not going that way, when we can just release, suddenly we get back into this flow, and it feels like things are just happening.
There's this momentum building where we're like, "Whoa, I'm almost not really doing anything." But, like, stuff's just going and flowing and [00:11:00] happening, when we can release the timelines, release how we think a goal should be, that's when the magic happens. And it is an art. It is a dance. It feels very different than probably how most of you have been brought up or certainly how I have been, which is like, do these things.
Get the good grades. Get the As. Push, push, push. Force, force, force. Things have to be a certain way. Here are the rules. Here's the rule book of how things should be done. And it's exhausting trying to go through life being like, "No, no, no, it should have to happen this way because I think it should have to happen this way."
It's like, that's not how life happens and how life works. And also, when we are in that place of that gripping-ness, it-- we lose the magic, we lose the fun, we lose the flow, we lose the dance, the creation, that connection with something bigger than ourselves, and the magic of the everyday and the, like, tiny little moments when we are in that grippy, forcing, trying to fit things in a box, rules-based way.
So if this is you, I see you because this has been me. I'm on such a [00:12:00] journey to, like, let go of things having to be how they should be. And kids give this on such a different level, where you think a day is gonna go in a certain way. I'm sure you can imagine and you can, visualize how it would be and how it would feel, and then chances are something will happen where it's not.
And when you force a kid, certainly my kids that are very independent, very strong-willed, things happen even more slowly. And it's the same with us when we force ourselves to do stuff. We're not in that place where we're having the ideas and the flow, and it feels more effort. And when we're forcing, things happen more slowly.
Maybe we're forcing ourselves in a direction that's taking us further from our goal or whatever. The forcing does not work with children and with goals. What if you just settled back in when things are not happening in the way that you thought it would? Welcome to the unknown. Welcome to life.
Welcome to this dance with nature and [00:13:00] the universe where some things happen how we thought, some things are way, way, way better than we could ever have imagined, and some things we're like, "Well, that did not go how I planned." And if you can drop back into thinking it's not that you're behind, it's not that you have so far to go, it's not that you're not doing it right, none of that.
It's the, "Ha, interesting. This is an opportunity where I've been gripping. This is an opportunity to surrender, to let go." And instead of the goal being how you thought it should be and try to force the goal into how you think it should be, almost let the goal be there as it is. Like, let the goal drive you and move you forwards.
And I know that sounds a little bit vague. I'm trying to think of examples Like an example of how I would tap [00:14:00] into that when I- if I notice I'm forcing or, like, it should be this way, is I'm very much like to-do lists and doing and getting things done, and I'm like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
Ch- ch- ch- must do, must do things to create the goal. It's like, go, go, go. I have to do these things to create the goal. When I release and surrender, that might look like going out for a walk, or I'm like, phew, going out for a walk, doing a meditation, dancing around. It might... A lot of times I will ask my future self, my amplified self, for advice.
And again, in the Scary Goals Lab, this is one of the processes that I take the people in the lab through, is how to tap into your amplified self, how to connect with them and feel it, so you start being them and you start feeling like them. How to have that connection and that two-way dialogue where you can ask for advice, you can ask for the next step, and then you listen to what comes up.
And so many times what comes up as the next step is like, "Really? That doesn't even seem, linked to the goal." Or like, [00:15:00] "In- okay." Sometimes mine's like, "Go outside." Like stand outside. That's like my next step is like, okay, I thought I had to do these 10 things to do the goal. Turns out I just have to go outside.
Or it's like, drink water. Sometimes that comes back. Or message this person. Like, al- all right. Even though it's like... And then I can look back, I'm like, "I see how this was connected," because maybe I go outside and I have this idea of like, wait, I was trying to force these 10 things. I don't need to do any of those.
I just need to do this one thing here that's, like, in this different way. But I wouldn't have got that unless I'd stepped outside. So it's when we release how we think we have to do things and should do things and need to do things and how we've done it in the past, or the doing and the forcing and the go, go, go, go, go, and we just surrender it and ask the universe, our amplified self, our future self for advice.
What is that next thing? What is that one thing? What is it? And we just see what comes up, and we just follow it, even if it doesn't make sense. That's [00:16:00] the fun thing about all of this, is following the next steps even if it doesn't make sense, releasing the forcing old ways of doing things, and just going with...
It's like going with the flow. It's like this, like, wavy, dancey thing that's kind of going on. But it seems when you're coming at it from, like, "But wait, tell me how to do the goals, and I need to do all these things, and then I get the goal, right?" It's like, not really. It's actually a little bit more fluid than that.
And yet when we can surrender into that, it's so much more fun and it's so much more magical. The other thing I've been doing so much recently, and again this is part of the tools that I teach in the Scary Goals Lab, is asking the universe for signs. Or your amplified self, your higher self, whatever higher power, like, feels good for you.
Nature. Every single time when I've been imagining my goal, tapping into my amplified self, and I've asked the universe for, like, a sign that day- Like, like every single time the craziest, craziest, craziest signs have come. Like, [00:17:00] completely related to, completely unexpected, and yet related to my goal. And it's, uh, like things I could never have imagined.
I'm gonna do a whole episode on this. That would be really fun, and I will dive into, like, some of the imagining and visualizing I was doing, some of the signs I was asking for, and what those signs are. And every time you get a sign, it's like, "Oh, I'm on the right track," or like, "This is so fun." Like, that's the whole thing is, releasing, letting go, letting the goal process be fun.
Process even sounds boring. Letting the goal magic and co-creation just be so fun And when we can get into that fun and that flow, we're so much less attached to how it's happening, and we're so much less attached to the timeframe that it's in, and thinking we should be a certain time and certain thing, certain place by a certain time 'cause it's like we're almost...
It's almost like you let go of that because you're like, "Okay, what's happening today?" Like, what next step am I taking today that's gonna be really random, but my future self is a- advising me, and I'm [00:18:00] gonna go do this thing? Or like, what is this crazy sign I'm gonna get today that's gonna lead me further down the path?
we get less attached to like exactly how everything's gonna be worked out. And for someone that used to be super into planning and having stuff like laid out and knowing how things was gonna happen, it's a departure. It's a letting go. And yet, it's so much more fun, and it makes it so much easier.
Like, having everything organized down to the second of this is how it's exactly gonna happen can just feel so heavy and so tiring and so boring. Letting go, releasing, playing, it just feels so fun. So I promise you, you are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be. Everything is working out perfectly.
So much magic is happening behind the scenes that you don't even know about, and you're going to figure it out, and you're gonna understand it soon enough, and you're gonna look back and go, "That was amazing." And I'm sure there's examples you can think of in the past where the timing was different than you had thought, and yet you would [00:19:00] never change it because what came out of it was so much more amazing than you could ever have imagined if things had stuck to the original time and how you thought things should've gone.
Like, it was actually way, way, way better than that. Okay. However you are, whatever you're on your way to your goals, I'm sending you so much love. You're doing amazing, and you've got this. You're right on track, so keep trusting yourself, asking for the signs, taking that one next step, and just play with it.
Have fun. Release. Go with the flow. Enjoy things for as they are, not how you thought they should be. How you thought they should be is not as good as they're gonna be, okay? And you will find that out soon when it all becomes revealed. It's just... Ugh, I love this work so much. Okay. I'm sending you so much love.
Mwah. Bye. And I'll see you next week hopefully 'cause I'm getting back in the rhythm of posting, and editing, and uploading these podcasts. Okay, bye. Mwah.
Hey, thanks so much for listening. If this was helpful, please hit subscribe and leave a [00:20:00] review. This helps get this work in the hands of more purposeful people. That is more people creating bigger, scarier goals, and making an even bigger impact in the world. And if you wanna take this work deeper and work with me directly, head to the show note, and I've put all of the information there.
If you've got any questions or if there's anything you're like, "Ooh, I'd love you to talk about that on the pod," please just get in touch. I love hearing from you guys, and I'll see you next time in the Scary Goals Club.
